Expat life is often associated with openness, new encounters, and discovery. Yet, paradoxically, it can also bring a deep sense of loneliness. Even when surrounded by others, expats may feel isolated, out of step, or unseen. This experience is not a weakness. It reflects a fundamental human need: the need for meaningful connection. In a professional setting, this loneliness can quietly but significantly affect mental health. Preventing distress, therefore, also involves learning how to nurture relationships, create spaces of belonging, and recognise that well-being depends largely on the quality of our connections.
Expat loneliness: A quiet reality
Loneliness is not measured by the number of people around us but by the quality of the connections we have. You can be surrounded by colleagues, attend meetings, exchange emails, and still feel deeply alone.
If you live in a foreign country, several factors can intensify this feeling:
- Language barriers.
- Cultural differences in communication styles.
- Unfamiliar social codes.
- The absence of a personal support network.
This loneliness often remains unspoken because it can be difficult to articulate. Expats may feel that they should be happy, that they have no right to complain. This pressure to appear fulfilled can prevent vulnerability from being expressed and lead to emotional withdrawal.
Attachment theory and the need for connection
According to John Bowlby, the founder of attachment theory, human beings need attachment figures to feel safe. These figures can be loved ones, friends, or supportive colleagues. For expats, these reference points are often absent or far away, which can create emotional insecurity, especially during periods of professional stress.
Social connection is not a luxury; it is a fundamental need. It helps regulate emotions, strengthens self-esteem, and creates a sense of belonging. In the workplace, it also supports collaboration, creativity, and motivation.
Prevention: Creating 鈥渞elational anchors鈥�
To prevent loneliness, it can be helpful to identify and nurture three types of connections:
- Supportive connection: someone you can speak to openly and without filters.
- Activity-based connection: a shared group or activity (sports, volunteering, clubs).
- Meaning-based connection: a person or space that reconnects you with your values.
Try to nurture at least one of these connections each week. This helps reinforce a sense of belonging and inner security.
Connection at work: Between performance and humanity
In some professional environments, relationships are pushed into the background. Efficiency, speed, and productivity are prioritized, sometimes at the expense of relational quality. Yet studies show that teams whose members feel genuinely connected are more effective, more resilient, and less prone to burnout.
Creating connection at work means:
- Taking time to greet others, listen, and acknowledge them.
- Allowing yourself to express emotions, doubts, and needs.
- Valuing the diversity of backgrounds and sensitivities.
- Connection cannot be imposed. It is built through small, everyday gestures.
Prevention: The 鈥渞eal moments鈥� ritual
Each week, identify a moment when you experienced an authentic interaction. This could be:
- A sincere conversation with a colleague.
- An informal exchange over coffee.
- A kind message received or sent.
Write this moment down in a notebook, along with what it brought you. This ritual helps increase awareness of connection and cultivate relational gratitude.
Asking the right questions
Here are a few prompts to explore your relationship with connection:
- Can I be authentic in my relationships here?
- Do I enjoy interacting with my colleagues?
- Do I make time to build connections, or am I in 鈥渟urvival mode鈥�?
- Do I feel supported in my professional environment?
These questions are not meant to create guilt but to bring clarity. They help identify areas of loneliness and open up pathways for action.
The role of organizations: fostering connection
Organizations have a key role to play in preventing loneliness. They can:
- Encourage informal moments (lunches, breaks, social events).
- Set up discussion or support groups.
- Value relational skills in performance evaluations.
- Train managers in active listening and empathy.
A company that cares about connection promotes well-being, loyalty, and sustainable performance.
Connection as a vital resource
Expat loneliness is not inevitable. It can be prevented, understood, and transformed.
Social connection is a precious resource that deserves to be cultivated with care. In the workplace, it is not just about working together but about feeling connected, recognized, and supported.
What if building connections became a skill as strategic as project management?
