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He is going to divorce me in ramadan, in my absence

gurtrude
#1
been together 6 yrs...married in the family home, and in the embassy....been legally married 4 years....I paid for everything including our flat in his home town, and our new built house in another area of egypt....I funded his visit to my country were we stayed together for 1 years.....we was very very happy!.............................
He gets a nice job in another country away from our home in egypt were he now travels the world with his new job!聽 A new life style!!!
He now wants to divorce me when he comes in ramadan, he says his life is much better without me and he has wasted his life being with me all this time...
we don't have children because there is a age gap!..but this was disgusted before our marriage we did was not preparing for children just our future together sufficient !!
he came home 6 weeks ago and everything was nice and we spoke of me eventually going to live with him in Dubai聽 ..
After 1 week of him returning back to work from his vacation he calls me and says he is Gay and wants a divorce!!!!
I was overstated this came as a big shock,
I said i wont divorce him, so he insists he will do it in my absence, he has become very very nasty and even Evil!
The problem i have is when he does this divorce in my absence, were do i stand as far as living in Egypt? he says i cant stay in our marriage home in his town which is within the family home, he is also saying that the new built home he will sell it and give me half!!!!......the thing is there is not enough funds in the new house to make me a new home for myself as a single women, i live in egypt and i dont have enough money to buy anything else..
I dont want this divorce, and it is now clear he used me for a visa!, and of course to make himself financially stable from what ehe gained for being married to me!
Basically he is now living a life like a prince with property, money and very good job!
what i need to know is were do i stand now? if he sells our holiday home, which i am living in as my home, he said i cant live in the family home were we first made in his own town,聽 so because of this i will be homeless and penniless since all my money was put into our marriage together...
Can he do this? can he make me homeless by selling our holiday home which is were i live?
When we married we had the full works, we did the Muslim style marriage with聽 the party then 1 years later we did the embassy marriage...He says he never ever wants to come back to egypt only for holidays, to visit his mother, so he has no time for me and just wants me gone out of his life!...
He wants me to return to the uk, were he can forget me, I wont do this because egypt is my home, i dont want to divorce, and have no plans to meet anyone else!....
Please can anyone advise me how i stand now with the security of my home that he wants sold, just so he can gain from the profits?
See also
F
#2
Hi Gurtrude,
I was sorry to read your story you posted.
I am an Australian/Egyptian and have been living here in Egypt for approximately 3 years.
My sister came from Australia, met a moron here, married him for a period of six years during which she suffered abuse and beatings, until she finally told us about it and she got a divorce.
In your case, the best thing you can do is get legal advice from a lawyer in family law rather than from the general public.
If you want help finding a lawyer, I may be able to assist (although I am not living in Cairo).
There will be a lot of questions about who's name the properties are in, were they registered officially or otherwise, who holds the paperwork for the properties etc.

Good luck with your plans and hope you have a positive outcome.
1 member reacted to this post
Caty in Cairo
#3
Hi Gurtrude!

What a sad story, I am very sorry for you. Unfortunately not an uncommon story...

The most important thing is to know exactly who is the owner of these properties officially. Is it registered under his name??? In this case he is not even obliged to give you half o.O and there is nothing you can do about it...
Try to find a trustable lawyer, maybe one who is experienced in marriage fraud. Search the internet and you will find a lot of forums about marriage fraud/ Bezness in Egypt and maybe someone there could recommend a lawyer here in Egypt.
I wish you all the best

Caty
1 member reacted to this post
gurtrude
#4
the holiday home is registered in both names althought the flat and the whole house he owns in his town belongs to him!
gurtrude
#5
FRAUD!!聽 聽 I ACTUALLY NEVER THOUGHT OF IT IN THESE TERMS!....thank you !...because his family must have been in this as well concidering they arranged our wedding nknowing what his intentions was to be when he got what he wanted from me!
James
#6
Regarding the divorce, you're in HIS country and he's got the upper hand! There is little if anything you can do to prevent the divorce, with or without your presence. Welcome to the real world of women from developed nations being taken in by men from developing nations for nothing else to improve their lives, obtain visas, citizenship, etc.

It's truly amazing in today's information age, where anyone can be fully informed about the thousands of sad cases just like yours that so many people enter such relationships in a state of "willing blindness". The horror stories are legion and they're all out there on the internet for everyone to see. Yet, so many people choose to ignore them, saying to themselves, "this will never happen to me". Sadly, it does happen to them and then they wonder why.

Cut your losses as best you can, try to recover as much of the assets that the judicial system in HIS country will allow you to and then go back home where you'll have family and friends to help you rebuild your life.

If your visa was based on a marriage, provided that you have already been granted Permanent Resident Status, a divorce should not have much of an effect on your status. I say should not since in many countries even though there is no legal grounds to revoke one's visa in such a situation many countries will do so anyway if the other spouse complains long and loud enough. The immigration authority will revoke the visa just to shut the person up, sad to say.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, EB Experts Team
F
#7
what a sad and painful story .!.. he is a real bastard and big idiot :(
Bebo bari
#8
Sham on him, I feel very sorry for you
Caty in Cairo
#9

gurtrude wrote:

FRAUD!!聽 聽 I ACTUALLY NEVER THOUGHT OF IT IN THESE TERMS!....thank you !...because his family must have been in this as well concidering they arranged our wedding nknowing what his intentions was to be when he got what he wanted from me!


You SHOULD think of it in this way! Its not ur fault that you have loved and trusted while he (and the whole family) was playing a foul game with ur feelings. Marriage fraud is widespread in Egypt's holiday destinations like Hurghada and Sharm and these guys are professional actors until they get what they want. Its also not the first time for me to hear that the so called husband suddenly discovered he was gay. Same happened to a lady that I know. She is totally devastated and is blaming herself. Don't blame urself! The shame is on him!
Regarding ur holiday property: I don't think he can sell it without ur permission if its under both names. For the other house - I am sorry, I don't think you will see a dime.

1 member reacted to this post
gurtrude
#10
thank you your reply, and sorry about your sister I hope her life is better now, My moron has now got residency in another country NOT the UK, and he has no intention of returning to Egypt apart from vacations...I have residency here in Egypt and my home that is in joint names, We also did a prenuptial agreement that if he dicided to marry within his islamic rights he would tell me and divorce me first if this was my wish!..All i see is that his family are now happy that he is free from me the foreigner, so he can now remarry within his own culture...I new this would happen some day but with agreement with each other not in this way that he has surely found an easy get away from me.....My main concern is the house, its in joint names ..as he is divorcing me then he as a Muslim i thought had to provide for me and give me a home since i did nothing wrong in the relationship, ..BASICALLY I WANT THE HOUSE whole of it...;)
gurtrude
#11

wjwoodward wrote:

Regarding the divorce, you're in HIS country and he's got the upper hand! There is little if anything you can do to prevent the divorce, with or without your presence. Welcome to the real world of women from developed nations being taken in by men from developing nations for nothing else to improve their lives, obtain visas, citizenship, etc.

It's truly amazing in today's information age, where anyone can be fully informed about the thousands of sad cases just like yours that so many people enter such relationships in a state of "willing blindness". The horror stories are legion and they're all out there on the internet for everyone to see. Yet, so many people choose to ignore them, saying to themselves, "this will never happen to me". Sadly, it does happen to them and then they wonder why.

Cut your losses as best you can, try to recover as much of the assets that the judicial system in HIS country will allow you to and then go back home where you'll have family and friends to help you rebuild your life.

If your visa was based on a marriage, provided that you have already been granted Permanent Resident Status, a divorce should not have much of an effect on your status. I say should not since in many countries even though there is no legal grounds to revoke one's visa in such a situation many countries will do so anyway if the other spouse complains long and loud enough. The immigration authority will revoke the visa just to shut the person up, sad to say.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, EB Experts Team

Mohamed I. Abdelaty
#12
hey i am sorry but do you really want to stay with someone who is getting rid of you after all you did for him ??? see its not about love anymore, its more about dignity and karma now, you should be the one who is looking to get rid of him after him treating you with disrespect, this is just my point of view and this would of been the same advice if the situation was vice versa. good luck.
1 member reacted to this post
gurtrude
#13
yes Mohamed! i agree with you, but my interest is trying to salvage what i have left instead of giving in to him having everything his own way!.....he has had it very easy so far, all i have is the house that is in joint names ....if he divorces me in this manner, a cowardly way without any communication with me i am worried that i will be left聽 with nothing.....He has TOYED with me for 6 years ....I hope that KARMA will intervene soon!....I will sit back and let him divorce me by all means!....but my question is can he do it in the HOLY MONTH OF RAMADAN!.. BUT now i am thinking his faith is a TOY to him as well, since him and his family insisted on our Islamic marriage at the start!聽 so obviously has no respect for that neither...
F
#14
Whatever you do, do not move out of the holiday home. You have not said where in Egypt you are living. If you are in Hurghada I can give you the contact details of a lawyer you can trust. I know they are hard to find but I have used this man and so has an English friend of mine and he is fantastic. I would also go about changing the locks on the house you are in and also get a security door fitted. You know the saying 'possession is 9/10 of the law" There is probably little you can do about the other property as he will say the money was a gift from you as his wife. I sympathize with your situation, you must be frantic. :(
1 member reacted to this post
gurtrude
#15
THANK YOU TIGERLILY that is very good advice!....i will be doing that asp! I will also have my brother over in this time also, i wont be alone!...Although i don't want problems i now do fear for the insults and bad words from his mouth, i do have a lawyer whom insists i dont waist my moneu and just allow him to do the divorce, because we had the house drawn in a crontract that shows its a investment between us both and we each own 50/50...and has nothing to do with our marriage, BUT at the moment my husband to be X is stating that he can sell it if he wishes...and for as much as he likes and he dont need to share anything with me!...my lawyer just laughted and said B*T..but i still beleive my hubby...My Lawyer does believe he can not divorce in Ramadan!聽 but till now he is investigating this!...
F
#16
I wish you well Gertrude... maybe you could use a little leverage to get him to sign the house over to you fully. Contact me any time if you need help or just a shoulder :)
gurtrude
#17
Thank you so much Tigerlily ...its good to know someone see it from my point of veiw!...coa as you know it not the marriage that concerns me its my property...we have a marriage home in cairo also were we was married, i would never expect to obtain my rights to live there whilst i have this place here ...so if he would sign it over this would resolve everything for me! he can them just move on and await for Karma to do justice with him!..;)
1 member reacted to this post
Machometus
#18
What's karma??
1 member reacted to this post
Mohamed I. Abdelaty
#19
i understand that you are trying to get a part of what you gave him back, yet there should be many ways for that to be done, a good lawyer or an agreed settlement, even if the lawyer is going to take as much as what the properties are worth but atleast you made your point, but believe there are so much to be done, think and play it by the law.
Jeweler46
#20
Dear Friend -

I am SO sorry to hear this happened to you.聽 What a tragedy!聽 However; you are NOT the first and unfortunately will not be the last.聽 I am not certain how you met your husband, but so many women meet these men 'online' which is all in a 'days work' for these men as many are only creating the perfect 'fantasy' so to use you to better their OWN lives.聽 Of course this fantasy is always more perfect then 'reality' of which in due time the 'reality' of what you thought was 'true' you eventually find was only a scam so to use you to obtain the almighty 'Visa' - in addition to other things, such as 'money' or whatever else they can get their hands on.聽 If you are of the Christian faith, - then of course - you are referred to as an 'infidel' of which he is allowed to lie - cheat - and scam you - as long as he needs to.

I personally lived in Cairo, Egypt as foreign women from the United States and I can't tell you how many times I was proposed to by these men.聽 Of course, that was NOT even an option for me - as I was there only to experience a different culture.聽 But for these men, most are in desperate situations - few have job's - the economy is horrific and the living conditions are less then to be desired.聽 So needless to say - they will do just about anything to improve their situation with absolutely no regard to who you are as a human being.聽 In the end - the majority WILL marry a 'virgin' of their own faith and culture.

Please do your personal best to pick up the pieces and know that there is life after loss.聽 'Smile' and be 'Happy' that you are able to get out 'now' verses having learned this later down the road.聽

I would also like to inform you that is a website called 'Daniel Pipes'聽 - When you visit this site - you will find a 'blog' of which thousands of women have shared their own personal experience simular to your own -

May God Bless you today and always -
1 member reacted to this post
yousefh
#21
hi,
I am sorry to hear this, did u ask ur lawyer about the Gay thing ?
just ask him if he can play the Gay card ?, it's taboo & forbidden here in Egypt.
if there was no sexual intercourse between u two for 4 months or more, it's the first sign for Homosexual in law.
plus there will be Medical examinations & big Scandal for him (the fear from scandal alone may force him to give up the apartment for you)聽 :D
1 member reacted to this post
gurtrude
#22
:D:D:D:lol::lol: .....thanks for that valuable information! lol lol lol
F
#23
Is the marriage flat and the built home by your name or his name ??
gurtrude
#24
the marriage flat is withing his home the usual as in Egypt so of course i could never have any claim on this place! but the holiday home is in joint names,聽 he says he will sell it and give me half but if he did this i would never have enough to re-home myself since there is not enough profits in the property,聽 so therefore i could end up homeless....This is another issue ..i know i could never live in the marriage flat and he will never live in the holiday home after the divorce, so ideally i wont him to sign his half of the holiday home over to me! and since it was me that funded the place and maintain till now i think this would be good justice, but obviously he is only wanting everything for himself ...HIS GREED and PROFITS are his main interest at the moment!...
F
#25
This is a very good point Gertrude. It is Haram in Islam and for him to say that, very dangerous.
Here is a recent court case...



Also, in court you can say before the judge that he was no good in sex... Egyptian women do it to get a divorce.... it would bring him great shame and therefore may give you a bargaining tool at least
gurtrude
#26
hi Tigerlily....so do you reckon i聽 should start the divorce against him before he comes back to egypt in a few weeks were he is going to divorce me anyway???...coz forsure the way i feel about the whole situation i want to humiliate him to the max if this is the only thing i can do, especially since he told me he is gay!....weather he was joking or not he actually said it to me!...problem i have i have limited funds to start paying for lawyers and stuff, and i wonder if i can contact the courts directly with a statement against him, before he files the divorce himself!
..
F
#27
I have sent you a private message :)
ammyelamora
#28
Gurtrude, I am so sorry you have to pass through this. It is not necessary that his family is part of the plot. Most families would be happy seeing their children getting married stable and happy.聽 Try to find allies among his family and friends .. the ones whom you know are honest and fair...wisely indirectly threaten him by telling his RELIGIOUS persons in the family and his supervisors (work)聽 that he is gay ... meanwhile and in parallel see a lawyer...i feel that the best policy with a manipulating person like that is to open fire ON SAME time on different sides and YES never leave where you r currently staying and ensure that he does not change locks while you r out. Good Luck!
gurtrude
#29
thank you for your advice Ammyelamora....I would love to tell his supervisers at his work but this unfortuantly wont do nothing as he works in a company were 99% of male employees are Gay anyway!....But i suppose getting in touch with the sheilk that married us may have some impact on his dealings with me.....Thank you again for giving me this idea!
F
#30
Im so sorry you are going through this
From what ive learnt about most egyptian men is they prefer to marry us because they gain alot more than we do
My husband was a good guy he died but
his mother refuses to accept me and she refuses me to live in his house
He cannot divorse you in ramadan speak to the sheik who married you and to anyone who will listen to you
He said he is gay which is not allowed for muslims does he know he can go to jail how dumb is he?
Use that against him the shame of it will silence him if you have a voice recording of this keep it safe and use it in court. Good luck
gurtrude
#31
WOW! thank you!聽 I love this kind of support! ......THE THING IS AT THE MOMENT HE IS LIVING IN DUBAI WERE 99% OF HIS MALE WORK COLLEAGUES ARE GAY even the Egyptians, apparently this is the place they run! it is excepted in their work place and very open...I know its against the law in Egypt, for gays, and forsure he will deny that he is gay聽 聽when he comes back to Egypt on vacation in Ramadan... My time is running now to file a divorce against him for this reason...but i will do all i can to get the ball rolling now i learnt a few things on here!
F
#32
He has to come to egypt to divorse you so in the mean time get the divorse started
When he comes play the innocent wife and play the gay card as well
Does his family accept you if so they will most likely support you over him
I know that being gay in egypt is seen as a disgrace i hate it when i see this happen
I would love if you win and he gets nothing good luck
gurtrude
#33
yes his family except me and i have part of their family since we met all them years ago ...but i do believe they will take his side because he is earning so much money now and he has a sister that will eventually need her wedding paying for!...and because he is the eldest and there is not father alive he is responsible for everything so no i guess they wont want to be on my side in all this,,,,coz they will loose so much if they dont support him!...
F
#34
I feel so bitter toward your husband he used you for a visa and he gained so much from you .
Do you have proof you paid for the houses if so he cant claim a cent from you
I asked my friend she told me when couple marry the man must but the house and they share together to furnish the home if you have proof you paid he cant claim anything
F
#35
The problem with that is that Gertrude's husband will just say that the money was a gift from his wife and the court will just accept that. The only other option would be a civil case for fraud, which apart from taking many years and proof that he 'tricked' Gertrude out of this money, is unlikely to be looked upon sympathetically by a judge. The best course of action is what we have all suggested... go on the attack and play the 'gay' card etc. Shame is one weapon that is very powerful.
Also Gertrude, make sure that if you leave your villa at anytime have someone you can trust in it to 'guard' it for you. If he comes back and breaks the door to get in he can easily fix it and say you no longer live there etc. Possession of the property is very important. Do not leave the house for anything but shopping and so on. I know this sounds awful, but it is reality. I have seen some very bad situations here in Hurghada, where women have been tricked and then locked out of their flats even though they have ownership. It is harder to get sympathy and action if you are a foreigner unfortunately.
F
#36
I agree its sad i lost my husbands flat to my inlaws im now forced to rent until my mother in law dies so they sell the building and my kids will get a share of the money which is not fair but theres nothing i can do
I dont know why arabs are so cruel
Please keep safe as he can get people to harm you
F
#37
I found an old post about divorce... here is the link. If you scroll down there is some good information from an expat called 'The Egyptian' I have copied part of one of his posts below

/forum/viewtopic.php?id=160716

This is part of the post...

and I'd have to add that wife here is usually - by law - the winner in divorce. Husband has to pay deferred dowry, alimony (unless she waives his rights if she's the one who insisted on divorce), child support, housing (if his ex has children with him) ...etc.

Wife never has to pay anything .... even if she's richer than him ..... we don't have "community property" laws as in the US.
malagara
#38
i dont want to be seen childish or cruel ...but really after seing how difficult is just arange the papers to get ,married and after that to make him come in europe...after u loved him when he had nothing ...to do this??? really my plan would be to becom a widdow...no kidding!!!!i would probablly really kill him...but more realistic way is FRAUD! and u can ad he is involved in teroristic activities;) eu embassies are alergic to that;) he is an ass...u be too;) good luck darling
lynneroy2002
#39
Hi I am truly sorry to hear about what has happened to you. Unfortunately this does happen quite a lot.聽 I am Australian married to a Egyptian man聽 he is appauled at what has happened to you,聽 He just told me that your husband can get the divorce during Ramadam, However, he also told me that YOU have to be with him to sign the divorce papers at the embassy.聽 He cannot divorce you otherwise legally.聽 He also said you must change the locks on your doors.聽 I cannot recommend any lawyers to you but if you go to your own Consulate they will help you with names and also give you some information what to do
Good Luck聽 聽Lynne
gurtrude
#40
Thank you, for your support. I will let yous know the out come will be, because now HE is on HOLIDAY in my COUNTRY "i cant believe this man has the cheek", whilst i am alone with no money in his country, ..聽 聽YES HE IS A FRAUDSTER! He has not done the divorce yet, and i really don't believe he will, since it in his own interest that he stays married by the look of things,聽 :dumbom:

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