Are the chances of finding a vietnamese wife in vietnam good

1POSTS

11 years ago

Hi there, I am a vietnamese american guy living in the U.S and I am having a hard time finding a girlfriend here. I am looking into getting introduced by family in vietnam to a vietnamese girl. I am not the partying type of guy and I just want to find a vietnamese woman who I can settle down with and have a family. Would my chances of finding a vietnamese wife in vietnam better than the USA ?

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ngattt Serial expat

922POSTS

11 years ago

If you are lucky enough, you will find one. It's not so hard, if you spend much time for this.
But if you aren't careful, you will have a gold-digger that many foreigners here talked about.
The same with Vietnamse woman want to get married with foreigners...
50-50.

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S2rubyS2 Member

2POSTS

11 years ago

I think woman in us or in vietnam, they are both good and bad ones, just give your heart a chance to meet a new one, happy is not a destination, its a journey. Hope you will find your true half.

1 member reacted to this post

thanhnguyen11 Member

21POSTS

11 years ago

You can join in dating web such as vietnamcupid, ... to finding good woman.

i hope luck to will go to you.

ralphnhatrang Serial expat

599POSTS

11 years ago

It is very easy to find a wife in Vietnam, but as other posters have said, "Be very careful". There are indeed lots of gold diggers.聽 You are likely to be swamped with offers to be your girlfriend. Don't rush, take your time and find some one whom you really get along with. There are very many honest, lovely women here.

Should you wonder: Yes, I am an expat, I have a Vietnamese wife and daughter and we have been happily married for 13 years.

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thanhnguyen11 Member

21POSTS

11 years ago

Not only vietnam , any country also have good person and none. It's up your fate.

TEFL Can Tho Active member

68POSTS

11 years ago

Generics like "there are good and bad" just take up space.聽 The balance between the two is decidedly unfavorable and a man seeking a wife here needs to hear useful and cautionary information, not platitudes.

I know a lot of men both up close and afar who've gone that route and the loving & happy outcomes are the exception, I'm sad to say.聽 The common outcome is some Lysistrata extortion, huge monthly largess for the girl's family, with additional demanded every month for manufactured crises.聽 One friend in America learned his wife had arranged for his murder by slit throat the next time they came back to " visit her family."聽 Another was desperately unemployed and burning through savings but the 30 mill (!!!) per month to her well-off and frugally-living parents was not open to discussion.聽 Many of these men had valuables stolen under their own roofs, from disappearing coin collections to suspicious burglaries.

Face this from the start: you're not the center of her life, you're not even on her radar.聽 It's all about her family, within which there is no such thing as warmth, nor support, only obligation and guilt.聽 She will get a dozen phone calls a day demanding money from her "rich foreign husband," most of it used to show off to the neighbors.

There are success stories, one man on here is in a warm and loving marriage, it can happen.聽 But you'd better make it clear from the very start, however unpleasant it needs to be, that you're not an ATM.

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cvco Malaysia Expert

1237POSTS

11 years ago

I think its hard to find anything when you are actually looking, especially honest love which more likely will happen by accident, when you are not looking. The point here is to be open to that chance and not let opportunities escape when you are smart enough to see them.

But your post reads like an order for a mail order bride, sorry to say. Remember that when you ask for introductions by families, you are putting your fate in someone elses hands who isnt taking into consideration what you truly want, only what works for the introducers. Plus, you are asking someone to do the legwork you must do the hard way yourself. Dont try to shortcut the path to love because its going to likely fail.

If you want someone in VN, go and live there. When you see someone you are interested in, say so. If you dont like it that way then at least be open to someone indicating that to you, dont run away from their interest in you. Take a chance.

As far as US vs. VN, who knows? In fact humans are the same everywhere, as far as I can see. Youd have as good a chance in either place but Im talking about love, not arranged arrangements to solve a problem.

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ngattt Serial expat

922POSTS

11 years ago

cvco wrote:
If you want someone in VN, go and live there. When you see someone you are interested in, say so.

It's not easy like that. My friend's lived here long enough, but still he can't find the right one. Many girls, but...
Hide all your money, never express yourself like a rich one. Just said to her, you only earn enough money for your life, everything will be shared while you both are flirting (except the firt time you invite her, you should pay all ). Don't go to the expensive restaurant, just some local restaurant... I have all your rest life to do the good things for her, no need to do when you are flirting

But if you want to have a beautiful girlfriend, you must pay a price !

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MrGem Member

12POSTS

11 years ago

#10

There are many Vietnamese good girls in Vietnam. They who are working for foreign company are very dynamic. Or working in state company, they are often elegant, thoughtful .....

Hope U have right choose

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MrGem Member

12POSTS

11 years ago

#11

ngattt wrote:
cvco wrote:
If you want someone in VN, go and live there. When you see someone you are interested in, say so.

It's not easy like that. My friend's lived here long enough, but still he can't find the right one. Many girls, but...
Hide all your money, never express yourself like a rich one. Just said to her, you only earn enough money for your life, everything will be shared while you both are flirting (except the firt time you invite her, you should pay all ). Don't go to the expensive restaurant, just some local restaurant... I have all your rest life to do the good things for her, no need to do when you are flirting

But if you want to have a beautiful girlfriend, you must pay a price !

She looks like an experience woman

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ngattt Serial expat

922POSTS

11 years ago

#12

MrGem wrote:
She looks like an experience woman

From my experiences, I know it . Some my friends, they accept something from the begin (even they didn't want), then they must accept that always, until they can't stand ==> broke up!
And my foreign friends teach me like that . One said to me, if someone can cheat woman, that's him, not anyone . And he is scary if I was cheated.

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may_imex Banned

11POSTS

11 years ago

#13

If you want a good woman, you need to be a good man

. Surely good things come to a good one. Believe you can find and you will get it.

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MrGem Member

12POSTS

11 years ago

#14

ngattt wrote:
MrGem wrote:
She looks like an experience woman

From my experiences, I know it . Some my friends, they accept something from the begin (even they didn't want), then they must accept that always, until they can't stand ==> broke up!
And my foreign friends teach me like that . One said to me, if someone can cheat woman, that's him, not anyone . And he is scary if I was cheated.

With your experience, please introduce him a perfect wife. Then, can you give me an advice on how to solve my friend's problem. His wife went off only a week after wedding day.

Thanks

ngattt Serial expat

922POSTS

11 years ago

#15

MrGem wrote:
With your experience, please introduce him a perfect wife. Then, can you give me an advice on how to solve my friend's problem. His wife went off only a week after wedding day.

Thanks

I can't help anyone to love, to find a right one! Everyone must have their own experiences. What I love/like/need is not what their love/like/need. Just do what you feel right for yourself. If you fail, you get a lesson for that.
And, you know, good person is not always having a good one. Life is not simple like that. Just try to do everything if you think it's right.

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Burin Active member

68POSTS

11 years ago

#16

Don't try to find the woman whom you can marry. First you need to find the woman who make you fall in love, cos the result will be different if you focus on the type of family woman and miss the type of your favorite woman. Everywhere have good and bad woman, important thing is you can make your bad woman become a good woman or vice versa聽

. Finally good luck 2 you聽

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orientpearl Member

1POSTS

11 years ago

#17

A question with no exact answer.

3 members reacted to this post

brubakertx Member

18POSTS

11 years ago

#18

If you can, come to Vietnam/Thailand and look for your love.聽 Stay here for 6 months to a couple years.

Yogi007 Serial expat

948POSTS

11 years ago

#19

To answer your question....YES.聽 Very good.聽
Anyone can find a wife here.....聽 Weddings are the national sport .

I've seen tired old men , nearly 80 , find beautiful young women.聽聽One of these old dribblers has no teeth, has a "crap bag" taped to him for bowell movements , a glass eye that oozes fluid, and a prosthetic leg .聽聽 He's found a woman.

No kidding.. You always see creepy looking old men staggering around with beautiful women.

And if your a fat middle aged , goofy looking bogan , you'll have no problems also.聽聽

The woman here don't discriminate against oddball losers either.聽聽It's the land of opportunity.

Get your self over here .

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swegolf1956 Guest

0POSTS

11 years ago

#20

No woman is worth that.

Dr. G Banned

130POSTS

11 years ago

#21

The kindest advise that anyone can offer you is to be very, very careful when meeting, interacting or considering beginning a relationship with a Vietnamese woman. There are far many more dishonest VN women here than honest. Many western men have been burned (even torched) by a Vn woman; so tread most carefully, be smart and well-prepared to encounter scams or false commitments or dishonest and unexpected behavior from most VN women interested in Western men. May the buyer beware.

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tonylam277 Member

1POSTS

11 years ago

#22

Dont worry but why do you think it would better in Vietnam. I used to live there for 6 years and i found my true love but the way was very difficult.聽 Hmmmm聽 try to get a聽 Lady that do not need you at all however for these ladies you need time and you need to be a strong person because alot of foreigners just dont use their聽 brain. Only what is in their pants. Time means give the good ladies time, they dont need to live in US or another country, they have all they need in Vietnam. So the best advice聽 try to live in Vietnam with a Job and learn vietnamese.

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Yogi007 Serial expat

948POSTS

11 years ago

#23

Dr. G wrote:
The kindest advise that anyone can offer you is to be very, very careful when meeting, interacting or considering beginning a relationship with a Vietnamese woman. There are far many more dishonest VN women here than honest. Many western men have been burned (even torched) by a Vn woman; so tread most carefully, be smart and well-prepared to encounter scams or false commitments or dishonest and unexpected behavior from most VN women interested in Western men. May the buyer beware.

Hi doc,聽 agree with most of that.
But, when it comes to honesty , usually both parties are kidding each other.聽聽Surely the fat old man knows that聽 a young beautiful woman won't marry unless there's some sugar in the pot.

The girls here聽 know full well that these bogans have no hope in hell of marrying a pretty girl back where they came from. So..if they are going to shack up with some goofy fat muppet or a tired old man...that guy had better pay, and keep paying.聽 No free lunches here.

If it looks too good to be true ......look out.

AND, I don't blame the girls at all.聽 Good on them.聽 Some of these blokes need to learn the hard way.聽 The best lessons you learn in life are usually the most expensive.聽 I've known dumbshit men here that have fallen victim to local girls up to three times... Bought all of them houses as well.

At the end of the day, an idiot loses his money to a young family in a developing country.聽 Alls good for Anglo Asian relations.聽聽

As you say Doc,聽 "BUYER $$$.聽 Beware"

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swegolf1956 Guest

0POSTS

11 years ago

#24

Doc,
Its the same here in Philippines.聽 Thanks for the advise.聽 The quest to find an honest woman took me out of America, thru Thailand and now Philippines.聽
Maybe the single life is the way to stay.聽 At least you get a few honest months before the strange demands come bursting out.
馃槆馃懣

tarkan79 Member

16POSTS

11 years ago

#25

I strongly advise you not to go on dating websites. Firstly they generally have one or two things on their mind which is; looking for an opportunity to leave the country in which you will be the ticket out, secondly it's hard to trust girls off the net and usually just gold diggers. Im not saying all are bad but just be extra careful my friend as I once got ripped off by a gold digger when I was looking for a wife too. I reccommend you to tackle the streets as in look for her in shopping centers, cafes, restaurants, offices, hospitals or 'trusted' word of mouth type girls. I'm actually going to vietnam this april to teach english on a year contract and at the same time look for my future half as well. I'll be glad to help if you need it. And it might be a clich茅 but bar girls, night clubs or the alike are a big no no as well. Good luck!

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I do believe Serial expat

359POSTS

11 years ago

#26

cvco has it right, if you are looking for love, you won't find it. If you just want to get married there's lot's who want to marry a foreigner. I've been on the lookout for many years with no success. Probably because I'm old and bald. It doesn't matter, I enjoy the window shopping.

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sowda lee New member

6POSTS

11 years ago

#27

a good girlfriend who聽 can share with you anything, communicates, take care and understand each other. See her inside not just her shape.
Totally agreed that many girl want to get married with foreigners to find the way escape vietnam, or dig money. So be careful.
A tip for man: a good girl dont need goods which u bring to them, they need your caring, ur understand and ur heart.
Good luck in vietnam

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lamtuyen New member

4POSTS

11 years ago

#28

聽 seem most of man have a gold and silver moutain so they all afraid of losting.If like what you think about v nese lady who are diggers or lap lap lap you never can find your truth love.

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eodmatt ViP

1418POSTS

11 years ago

#29

It is extremely easy to find a wife in Vietnam, but you need to be careful and take your time and choose wisely. I note other peoples comments, one of which is that you wont find love here in Vn. Wrong! It is possible to find love here.

I also note the comments about girls wanting money for their families and it is true many of them do, but not all. So keep control of your finances.

If you are a professional person, you should try聽 to meet ladies who are also professionals (not THAT kind) as they are more likely to come from families who are better established and will be university educated, in which case there will be less pressure on you to part with cash,

I met my wife in 2008 and we married last year, so we know each other very well by now. She is a graduate with an MBA and a Masters degree, so is well educated and well read. She is also 30 years younger than me. I dont pay her any money for her family as they are farmers and are quite well off. In fact, just about every month we receive stuff from the farms such as coffee, tea, avocados, lemons, chickens, rabbits, ginger and other herbs. So it isnt all bad here.

Good luck, take your time and choose carefully!

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bkk tea blog Serial expat

428POSTS

11 years ago

#30

It's a credit to this site that people actually took the question seriously and gave different informative answers.聽 I've participated in other forums where members would rush to ridicule someone for asking this type of question.

It's hard to really answer how someone might find someone to marry in a separate country than the one they live in.聽 It's my understanding that people being introduced and marriages being arranged makes more sense in some Asian cultures than in America but in this context it's still about someone looking online, or else starting from scratch on a visit abroad.

It makes one wonder about the original poster's connection to Vietnamese culture (he mentions being Vietnamese), but that seems a lot to talk through.

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peterwij Active member

31POSTS

11 years ago

#31

Hi
Although you live in America, your are聽 Vietnamese ok ? . half your battles (50%)聽 are resolved if you are a Vietnamese.聽 I hope you can speak and write Vietnamese fluently, Then 80% of your battles are resolved.聽 If you have relatives, friends of your own kind 90% of your battles in finding a girl friend(or getting to know someone) is solved. You are very lucky compared to other expatriates who do聽 not know nothing with a score of 0%.

The next 10% is up to your initiative, social interacting,involving in聽 family occasions / get together parties, making friends and creating a social networks, and spending some time in Vietnam. some friends or relatives may introduce a few persons, it is up to you and the person to find out that each other's company is more suitable or not.聽 Don't be in hurry, it will take time. Do nit show off either that you are an American with lots of USD聽 Dollar power, wrong speicies will cling on to you .

As at present Your own kind are very proud, they do not聽 bend to The mighty USD Dollar power as before, average person in Vietnam is well to do, as you may know.聽 Do not聽 visit bars聽 and cafes for a quick fix.聽 The best contacts are via friends and relatives and social interaction.
Follow these guide lines and if you are not in Vietnam (your ancestors country) you must visit here at least 3 time s a year during your free time and feel the life over here and the people. Do the things in聽 the local way. forget the expatriate crowd for the time being. Think you are 100% Vietnamese. (may be your parents migrated to USA long time ago and you were born there). I don' know. Please follow my advice and give me a feed back.聽 I am in Hanoi.
for the last 25 years, from Australia, married and settles聽 here peacefully.

YOUR ARE VIETNAMESE NO PROBLEM !!!!!
peter

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Gravitas ViP

9040POSTS

11 years ago

#32

It seems like if you did go to Vietnam to find a wife, you would then have immigration problems to contend with. The easiest route is to find an American passport holder who has Vietnamese roots and you will avoid a lot of issues. But of course, everyone is looking for an "upgrade". So perhaps you are just not worthy enough of an Am/Viet women in their new American eyes. One thing for sure is do not give up your home and career to move back to Vietnam, because you will have wasted so many years of your life getting where you have. Do some volunteering in some way, especially if you like to be around children and animals. You can often meet sweet and caring people in environments where CARE is the motive.

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kenjee ViP

19610POSTS

11 years ago

#33

Hello davidgoode

I think davidgoode received a lot of advice! We thank everybody who helped him out on this thread.

Since there is no activity from him since he created the thread, and also, since Threads talking about how to get girls is not what we usually accept on the forum, I think its time to close the latter down!

Regards
Kenjee
大咖福利影院 Team
[topic Closed]

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Closed