Divorce

11POSTS

8 years ago

HiI everyone,

I am British and live in UK now. Have been married to聽 Vietnamese man for 5 years. We separated in 2015 and he returned back to Saigon. He has deliberately moved, changed his number and I don't know where he is. I only know where he used to work, in Q Salon in Manor 2. He is a hear stylist called Giau, or Tom, his western work name. I am thinking about divorce and wondering how to go about it. Are there any decent international lawyers in Saigon, it seems easier to do it there as I have seen already on this forum. If I can't find him then would I still have to wait 5 years to do it by myself. I don't know how the law works there. Anyone got any ideas????

罢丑补苍办蝉听

See also

Getting married in Vietnam - Guide
Divorce problems - 2 Replies
Wife wants a divorce and the blame lies with me. - 25 Replies
Will divorce cause my temporary residency card to immediately expire? - 7 Replies
Divorce in Vietnam - 66 Replies
Divorce inquiry - 9 Replies
Financial advice for expats - any experience of using Devere? - 20 Replies

singuyen tranpham Contributor

122POSTS

8 years ago

I think you should consult with HCMC Department of Justice as there they have a section dealing with issues between Vietnamese citizens and foreigners including those of marriage. On the other hand, Vietnamese laws justify unilateral divorce for Vietnamese citizens in case those who file for that prove they stay under bad condition-treatment/misery/emotional-physical harassment in marriage and divorce is the one and the only way to solve the problem. However, I don't know if this also applies for interracial marriage.

havtajlee Member

11POSTS

8 years ago

Thanks for your thoughts .

Contem talk Serial expat

509POSTS

8 years ago

Hello Lee

I think if you can contact him then it will be easier to get a divorce. Otherwise, you need to find the way by yourself; maybe it cost you lots time and money as well.
Wish you good luck for you.

havtajlee Member

11POSTS

8 years ago

Yes I think you are right. Patience and money required.

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

No it it really quite easy and as the other poster said either party can do it with out the agreement of both. Not sure how you can do it from the UK. PM me and I can give you the name of an English speaking divorce lawyer. The question might be do you even need a divorce. Many countries could care less. How would they know you were married here if you are back in the UK. And many countries do not recognize divorces under the Hague Treaty.

havtajlee Member

11POSTS

8 years ago

That's interesting. We are considered married because he got a spouse visa to live with me in the UK for 2 years. So I guess Uk must recognise us as married under British law even though we got legally married in Vietnam. We had to get everything translated and notarised by both embassies, there and here. I suppose I could just leave it, but I am wondering if it would be good for me emotionally to close the door on that past life.

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

I understand your point. I am
Not certain on your issues since you sponsored him to the UK. But it is so cheap to get a divorce here. Not sure if there would be any property division or anything desired from him financially in your part. But check The Hague Treaty in divorce in your country. In my country they will not enforce any part of a foreign divorce.. The company I gave you is not cheap by VNese standard, but cheap by the standards of the West. But you could find many lawyers here that will do it cheap, But if you went straight to the Justice Department here it costs like $5. Grab an interpreter and gave them help. For a $100 bucks even with coffee money your done. But then it requires a trip over here. Good luck. Have never heard of a Western female marrying one of these toads. You a women unique in your class!! 馃榾

1 member reacted to this post

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

My friend is married to a VN guy, they get along really well.

1 member reacted to this post

havtajlee Member

11POSTS

8 years ago

#10

I am glad it worked out for your friends. People did used to really stare at us there. I am much taller than him and it did seem weird for it to be a western female marrying a vn male. I will check out the treaty. Coming to vn isn't cheap and I find trying to do official things there very hot and stressful. I will have to weigh up costs. Thanks

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#11

As mentioned before, I would just leave and get on with life. It may be more hassle than its worth.

1 member reacted to this post

havtajlee Member

11POSTS

8 years ago

#12

I am starting to think the same. Looking at the Hague convention stuff, soooo complicated, don't really understand it. I live in a council flat with my mum and part time work, we don't have children. I have no assets. There isn't really a need for a divorce, just the closure aspect. I have no intention of ever getting married again so maybe I should just create that closure without the need for a piece of paper that could cost up to 拢2000. Seems a bit silly when put like that. Certainly food for thought.

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#13

Are they gay? Most of the gay ones seem to get along well. But I have not seen many VNese men I would pay a Dong for if I could get a ship load of them. But I have seen exceptions also.

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#14

You will hear from him when he decides to get married again, leave it till then and let him sort it all out.

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#15

For tge closure part get a dart board and put his photo on it. Time will heal all that. I am in a similar situation. If and when it comes time I will have the immigration folks at the airport end my marriage " stamp me as exited" and bye bye. Good luck.

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#16

Diazo wrote:
Are they gay? Most of the gay ones seem to get along well. But I have not seen many VNese men I would pay a Dong for if I could get a ship load of them. But I have seen exceptions also.

Seeing as we were talking about a western woman and a VN man, I can say no,they arent gay.

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#17

Oh that is odd. But cheers to them.

WillyBaldy Serial expat

739POSTS

8 years ago

#18

My own advice is be careful with this. Most developed countries will recognize any marriage certificate that was done lawfully in most countries. So even though most people are telling you to not worry about it and go on with your life, if one day he shows up with a valid marriage certificate and you're married again, for example, it could really go against you. Also, you would not want him showing up and asking for alimony or some of your assets or stuff like this. I don't know the exact law about this in your country but I personally would take the time to make sure I'm officially divorced in MY country to protect myself from any future surprise.

PS: A divorce in Vietnam would also work but I'm not sure how you could do it without his consent. If you were Vietnamese I'm sure you could arrange it with some tea money but as a foreigner it's not so easy.

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#19

I'm sure she would get divorced before getting married again, you also have to show that you are able to marry. Read what she wrote, she has no assets and she doesn't know where he is.

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#20

Oh don''t fool yourself, the coffee money is an open option. With my attorney it was discussed with all involved and added to the total cost. But form what the young lady says they have nothing to argue about or assets to divide. So it is a cut and dried thing. And divorce here can be unilateral. The divorce laws her are not complicated and have little substance unlike in common law.

WillyBaldy Serial expat

739POSTS

8 years ago

#21

colinoscapee wrote:
I'm sure she would get divorced before getting married again, you also have to show that you are able to marry. Read what she wrote, she has no assets and she doesn't know where he is.

I read, but I'm talking 10 years down the road, for example. If you have a job, you might have to pay alimony to a spouse that has less revenue than you. There must be a way to get divorced from someone you can't find, but it's possibly quite complex. Also, when filing legal papers or even taxes you often have an obligation to give your marital status. If you start lying about this and they find out, somehow, you could be in big trouble.

I'm not telling her that she absolutely has to get divorced, I'm telling her not to underestimate the implication of being legally married even if she got married in Vietnam.

WillyBaldy Serial expat

739POSTS

8 years ago

#22

Diazo wrote:
Oh don''t fool yourself, the coffee money is an open option. With my attorney it was discussed with all involved and added to the total cost. But form what the young lady says they have nothing to argue about or assets to divide. So it is a cut and dried thing. And divorce here can be unilateral. The divorce laws her are not complicated and have little substance unlike in common law.

Maybe not in Vietnam, but that divorce paper could make ALL the difference in your own country if the former spouse shows up with a marriage certificate. That's what I'm talking about. If it's so easy to get a divorce in Vietnam with tea money then I'd definitely do it.

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#23

This may help, if married in Vietnam you can do it without his approval.

WillyBaldy Serial expat

739POSTS

8 years ago

#24

Now the question is how much $$$ ...

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#25

Way cheaper than Canada.

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#26

The actual court costs are cheap.

[t]he actual financial cost [of a divorce] shall vary on [a] case-by-case basis. However, the fee for first-instance civil court cost applicable to cases involving marriage and family with no monetary value shall be 200.000 VND [Vietnamese Dong] (approximately 10 US$); and the fee for appellate trial shall be 200.000 VND (approximately 10 US$). (Lawyer 27 Jan. 2016)

WillyBaldy Serial expat

739POSTS

8 years ago

#27

Yeah I'm more worried about the English speaking lawyer...

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#28

Indeed, If you use an English speaking attorney here they do so with the intent to rip you off Western style. Mine charged me 20 million VND, and an additional 30 million dong to buy the judge. And there was nothing involved but child custody. And in the end the judge did nothing for the coffee fee, io his support was dropped. The best way for the young lady to go, in my opinion is to fly here. Get an interpreter to take her through the JD and pay the nominal cost for the divorce. There should be no worry about her not knowing how to contact him. Yes, she would have the cost of a flight here and a short stay. Absent that she could go through the VNese Embassy in the U.K. They have procedures for this.
聽 But the other post recommending doing the divorce is the best and cleanest way to do it. Now she THINKS the future is clear, that she will never remarry and all will be bliss. How many times I have seen years change that thinking. It is unfortunate, but she really should get the divorce and avoid headaches down the road. I certainly would not hire a lawyer if there is nothing to fight over. Even then, I would just hire a VNese speaking lawyer and have an intrpreter. More likely to avoid the round eye tax

havtajlee Member

11POSTS

8 years ago

#29

It certainly is interesting reading all these conversations about me. Now how about this for weirdness. This morning, he texted me out of the blue. Soooo freaky. It's like he could feel us through the ether, talking about it. I asked him if he wants a divorce, he said he didn't care. I asked him why he was contacting me. He said he didn't know.聽 I have told him he needs to decide what to do about the hurt he has caused. I don't think he will reply to that. At least I know where he is now. He has gone back to his estranged family in An Giang. God, love is such a stress!!!!!

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#30

Perhaps he has been reading the conversations here on expat.com as well. Good luck.

havtajlee Member

11POSTS

8 years ago

#31

Maybe so. 罢丑补苍办蝉听

Guest2023 Guest

0POSTS

8 years ago

#32

At least now you know where he is.

ET85 New member

5POSTS

8 years ago

#33

if a Vietnamese couple with kids had divorced. How long will they get their divorce certificate and do you know how a divorce certificate look like? where can i聽 check whether the person is single/married ?

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#34

The divorce takes about 3 months to be finalized. Gosh I wish I could remember the day cos馃槍Exact department that issues certificates of single status. I know where the building is. I think it is the justice department. It is the same place you get your marriage license and other vital statistics documents. Just go to an office and ask they will direct you to the correct place. I am sure someone on here can give you the exact address. I can PM you a copy of a marriage license. They kind of look like every other gov't document to us foreigners!馃榾

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#35

Sorry my bad. I was thinking you wanted to know what the marriage certificate looks like. I can not help . I am in the middle of a divorce and the info I gave is what the lawyer told me.

SimCityAT Expert

13762POSTS

8 years ago

#36

According to Vietnamese law, divorce between a Vietnamese national and a foreigner or between two foreigners permanently residing in Vietnam is settled in accordance with the Law on Marriage and Family. The divorce will be settled according to the law of the country where husband and wife permanently reside.

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#37

What is all that about?

Diazo Serial expat

948POSTS

8 years ago

#38

Sorry Simcity, Can not blame you. I just thought it was a hilarious comment coming from an expat that lives in Austria. I was kind of thinking if I wanted to get a divorce I would just travel the world and get cheapest rate. But you say we must get the divorce in the country that has jurisdiction huh. Now what a novel idea. I wonder why they do that.
聽 But your research is a tad bit flawed. Because you can have one member of the marriage that no longer lives in the jurisdiction of the other member. But the divorce can still be filed by either party in the jurisdiction in they reside , assuming that the jurisdiction allows unilateral divorce. I went through this and know it to be the case. Maybe it is different there in Austria where you live. I hear Brazil is seeking some divorce advice, maybe you can render your Austrian expertise there.

Contem talk Serial expat

509POSTS

8 years ago

#39

Hi Guys

I think I have to come out here and just tell a little bit about this story. I knew this Vietnamese guy as well as Havtajlee. The man is kind; He has never changed his Phone number or Email address if she wants to get the divorce and it's easy to her and no need to come up like this and say blah blah.聽 He got married her not because of her money or English women, Here is the story of both.

After they got married, then he went to the UK.聽 And right the way he found a job as a hairstylist in the UK and getting paid over 2500 + GBP.聽 Then he had to take the financial responsibility of her family, and she did not work, after a few months later he got tired and came back to Vietnam. Once he decided to return, but he even didn't have money to buy his air tickets, so he asked his friend in Vietnam to buy his air ticket and sent him some money. At that time he requested to get the divorce, but she did not want. I have known this guy more than seven years, and I still contact him with the same number which I got seven years ago.