Living alone in a foreign country

jazz New member

7POSTS

18 years ago

I just wonder how many expats are sent overseas alone or together with family.

I was unfortunately sent to Germany alone as i am still single. Optimistically. it is a good chance to know new people in a totally new environment. But the problem is... I do not speak German!!

So far, i have been here for half a year. Maybe i am staying in a small town(not a big city), i could strongly feel the disadvantage as a foreigner. Ex. people do not understand what you're saying. And I am hardly to express myself in German too.

Well, German is quite difficult to learn. The unruled grammers have burnt my heart and sprained my brain , but i still hardly know how to use it. German people are also hard to be approached. Previously i know some German in my country. But when i contact them in Germany, they are too busy and no time to a foreigner friends. They are unlikely to take initiative or mind to keep the friendship and this make me very disappointing.

Naja, there are also warm people. But I would say it is hard to get to know those Deutsches as friends because they enjoy to live in their own circles. At the beginning, I am hardly to adapt to this kind of culture or environment, but i think if i stay in a English speaking country, everything would be much better.

I hope someone can share the experience of living in Germany. Or how to get to befriend with German people. As i have encountered some cases that i do not really understand what going wrong. The Deutsches friends are seemed disappeared and never contact again.

Well,, just hope the life is getting better when i am able to speak better German.

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Julien Founder

53174POSTS

18 years ago

Well I am in Mauritius (a small island close to Madagascar), and alone, as I am single too. The advantage is that people speak english & french here so it is not complicated to get understood.

there are also warm people.

Fortunately, there is always somebody who welcomes you!

But I would say it is hard to get to know those Deutsches as friends because they enjoy to live in their own circles.

It is the same in Paris France you know ... not easy to make friends at the beginning

Kro Member

35POSTS

18 years ago

I understand what you said. Germany is not the easiest country to get to know people easily... But once you know them, it's very strong!!

I lived that in Austria, being just with foreign student, as I was. Good luck! It will come soon, specially as you try to learn german!!

daileyjoy Member

10POSTS

18 years ago

I can't help you but I can relate...We are in Romania and feeling very alone and isolated. I wish you best and hope it gets better for you.

jazz New member

7POSTS

18 years ago

I understand that and now i am trying to pick up German as soon as possible. But you know, it is one of the difficult language and it has many complicated grammer. Not so easy to remember all this at my age now. I have been here for 7 months. Although i knew a few of them but they seem like not interested to contact me or befriend with me. Even i do take initiative to call them. That's why i feel the coldness and unopen minded to accept foreigner.

I will wait, as i have no choice to stay here for next 2.5 years. I hope when i can speak fluent German, everything will get better.

Agali Member

10POSTS

18 years ago

Hallo,

I'm in a quite similar situation. I'm back in germany since about one year (i was 6 month in hamburg, 9 month in Toulouse, then back to Bremen).
I fully agree when you say that it's hard to build some links.

In fact only people i know here are french (as me), italian or turk.

The best things to do (exept speaking german, that is very difficult for me also) is to make some sport, music or whatever in a club with germans.

Where are you in Germany ? According to some friends, the south is very different from the north (he doesn't south, but enjoys north since bout 3 years)

tropicalescape Member

16POSTS

18 years ago

Greetings -

It can be [very] difficult to be overseas but I would offer that I have found it helps to be persistent, keep a positive attitude, a sense of humor, and do something enjoyable for yourself everday (even if it is just having a good cup of coffee).

Regards

writingfromlyon New member

1POSTS

18 years ago

Hello,

I'm in the same situation, living in France with only the poorest grasp of the language.聽 It can be tough.聽 I agree with tropicalescape that it is a matter of keeping connections with old friends via email, and also getting out and doing something good for yourself every day.聽 For me, taking long walks has always worked.聽 Good luck to you.

ECS Norway Expert

1566POSTS

18 years ago

Writing from Iceland, where I have experienced both the expat life with a partner, and (my current situation) single.

I found that I have met a lot more people single than I did when in a couple, and that many locals are protective and very helpful when it comes to my situation (advice, translation, and other assistance).聽 However, the majority of people I know are also expats, many of them also in a similar single situation, so that could be part of it.

Still, I moved partly to force myself into a position of being outside my usual comfort zone, and being alone really makes that happen.聽 The past year, living single here, has been the most vivid year of my life.

However, as writingfromlyon and others said, maintaining connections with old friends & family can be essential.聽 As much as I love the newness, the learning of other languages, and everything, it's a great comfort to speak the language you grew up with, to reconnect with those that know you best.聽 Skype/webcams/IM/SMS technology has been a large part of my relative success living abroad.

Guestposter69 Guest

0POSTS

18 years ago

#10

When I went to the ships I was single, I went to Miami on my own, I did not know anyone... it was a little bit hard but being alone let you explore more, get to know more people, learn more... Right now I'm in London with my partner that I met during my cruise ship work, we have 2 years old daughter now so we don't have time to explore much, only playgrounds

112inky New member

5POSTS

17 years ago

#11

I do face same problem when I m in France, I know French very little and not fluently.

When you interact people with English, we don聮t get any response properly. 聯WHEN IN ROME, DO AS THE ROMANS DO聰, this statement is true from my experience. But now I speak French with fluency.

Guestposter69 Guest

0POSTS

17 years ago

#12

Hi Jazz, don't give up on "us Germans", can you write a bit more from where you are (birth country) and where in Germany you live now? Perhaps I can give you then some more tips ;-) SY

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celest Member

11POSTS

17 years ago

#13

I face the same problem here in Romania,
So isolated and difficult to interact with other people, as i only speak a little bit romanian.

But i wish you luck there...

Mark Sid New member

7POSTS

17 years ago

#14

I'm living alone in egypt and i'm quite bored! what things could I do? I mean they dont have much to do there anyway.. i'm done with the sight seeing and all.. I work till 5 and then i'm totally free..most of my female coworkers have to be home by 9..kind oflike a curfew..since its a conservative country and all.. most of my male cowrokers just wanna get in my pants.. whats a 20 year old girl to do in this case?
I tried finding people who are not egyptians n hang out with but they're much older..atleast the ones i have found!I'm sick and tired.. bored everyday and i even started going out on my own to the movies or to a cafe with my laptop..but thats no fun!!

Guestposter69 Guest

0POSTS

17 years ago

#15

Mark,it can be hard in the start but do hang in there.
Am sure you will get some good friends soon.
Same thing happened to me while i was on vacation in Dar es salaam in Tanzania. I could hardly find someone speaking English and when i did find a pair speaking English and i begged to have a conversation with them,they rudely reminded me that they were having their own conversation. I aplogized and went back to my hotel,slept that afternoon till the next morning.

When i convinced myself to start learning some Swahili,i started making friends.

My case may be different but i am sure you will get some real friends and as for your co workers,ignore their advances!

Jess2010 Active member

34POSTS

16 years ago

#16

Agali wrote:
Hallo,

I'm in a quite similar situation. I'm back in germany since about one year (i was 6 month in hamburg, 9 month in Toulouse, then back to Bremen).
I fully agree when you say that it's hard to build some links.

In fact only people i know here are french (as me), italian or turk.

The best things to do (exept speaking german, that is very difficult for me also) is to make some sport, music or whatever in a club with germans.

Where are you in Germany ? According to some friends, the south is very different from the north (he doesn't south, but enjoys north since bout 3 years)

The south is definitely very different from the north. I grew up in Germany but never felt at home there. Before I moved to the UK last September, I spent three years in the south because I was studying there. If you have any choice at all, don't go to the south! I am not a big fan of Germany in general but people are definitely friendlier in the north. I have no idea why it is. But my guess is that southerners have this strong link to their community and anyone from outside will simply have a very hard time. They tend to identify very much with which village they come from or which southern dialect they speak. I even found that they think you're posh if you don't speak any dialect at all. And they just don't get that they're speaking dialects that nobody from outside their community will ever be able to understand.

zakpotts Member

18POSTS

15 years ago

#17

hai......
Living in a foreign country allows you to truly know the place and experience the culture. It is much more valuable and exciting experience than few days of traveling as you get to see so much more of the country...

srj Member

24POSTS

15 years ago

#18

Just curious Jazz ,yours was an old post ,I am a new memeber on this blog ,are you still in Germany ? Is it any better ?Have you made some friends ?
When I first came here ,on my own initially ,it felt the same .

Murat36jeddah Member

2POSTS

15 years ago

#19

I have the same impression of Germany, I was born and grown up there, but it didn麓t make me happy....so I decided to move to UK and later to IReland which was the best country I have ever been.
I miss Dublin so much and the bunch of people there are so easy going....
NO I am away from Europe the first time and have to adapt with my new sitiuation..life goes on....
Good luck to you...

annawang Active member

85POSTS

15 years ago

#20

I dont speak Chinese on my first 2 years in China.All I could say is thank you, hello and count 1-10.I was living alone too.I was working in a small town in northern China and I find people helping me using body language.I just cant imagine how I manage those years.When I came to Vietnam, i still live alone but I'm in a better situation as I now lived in the big city of Saigon.People speak English that makes my life easier.

lolo1970 Member

20POSTS

15 years ago

#21

yeah it is not easy as it take at least 2 years to get use to a new country

mpunia New member

7POSTS

15 years ago

#22

I am currently living in Kenya (nairobi), moved here alone... family to join in after 6 months... must say that it is much easier to make friends in the Asian countries and even Europe... this whole issue about security makes you sceptical...

Guestposter69 Guest

0POSTS

15 years ago

#23

lolo1970 wrote:
yeah it is not easy as it take at least 2 years to get use to a new country

wow, 2 years....
can it be faster?

O_Patinho New member

6POSTS

14 years ago

#24

i'm thinking to go to dubai try to work anda i have a litle screere

johnathon.smith Member

2POSTS

14 years ago

#25

You're never alone. Just keep a smile & make an effort to speak in the local language.

zolof.org New member

6POSTS

14 years ago

#26

how are u doin
am Ronald as i said well am intrested in making a friendship with you and being there whenever u need to meet we can always meet ,am 30yrs old and liked ur profile ,i do have a profile on face book with my pictures Riggy Ronny is the i.d there
and i do chat yahoo messenger my id is africanartsp

36510 Active member

26POSTS

14 years ago

#27

Hi,

as a German I would suggest that you try to think of a hobby and join an association that pursues that hobby. There is a club for almost everything in Germany, from soccer to chess, choir, airgliding.... That might be worth a try because you will meet new people in an evironment where they are less likely to ignore you. There are also websites like freizeittreff.de which are not dating agencies, but are bringing together people with similiar interests

harryvlug Member

2POSTS

14 years ago

#28

Could Radio from your country give you the feeling that your not alone?
Could you tell what kind of radio you listen to?
How often Do you listen to Radio?
Is there a need for a expats radio program?
Do you know a radio stations especially for expats?
What do you expect from a radio program for expats?
From wich country are you,and where do you live now?

Thanx for helping

nongprue Member

24POSTS

14 years ago

#29

hello friends,
why most of the forum members are such sad?
reading your messages it felt loneliness,
mental breakdown and other!
Do you realize your luck of living abroad?
while you're English speakers (international passkey).
Whether it is for the tv the radio
or the friendly communication
where is situated your problem? Nowhere!.
for my part, I've been living in Thailand
and never I've had any problem.
and yet I live in a country whose
culture is so different from the West.
I'm French and I didn't speak English as you do
when I went abroad.
I've worked hard to learn your language
and a little Thai by listening people.
I almost went round the world.
never trouble to make friends
never alone.
My god, you must overcome your shyness,
go ahead, talk with your hands if necessary,
buy a book for learning the language, learn about.
It belongs to you to adapt yourselves,
and not to the natives to adapt itself to you
Have some spirit of initiative.
I hope having stimulated and motivated at least a few.
kind regards