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It sounds to me like, the actual problem you are discussing is simply 'shyness'. Not 'wanting' to interact with others is NOT a problem. But, having an 'inability' to interact with them definitely CAN be. Most people are shy, to some degree or other. But, it is only a problem if it interferes with being able to effectively 'live one's life. Ie.- problems communicating effectively at work, neglecting one's family, etc.) Shyness is usually symptomatic of a 'timid personality'. Most often centered around a deep reluctance to engage in 'interpersonal conflicts', or simply a fear of other PEOPLE. In this sense, shyness... as a 'fear'... is somewhat irrational. (Though, in some cases MAY even be justified. Such as when living in a warzone, etc.) Assuming no external necessity that requires 'withdrawn from interaction with others', the cure is actually quite simple. Fear of ANY kind has but one true.听 100%... cure. 'Exposure to' and 'confrontation of' that specific fear. Whether it be... spiders.... heights... loud noises... drowning... or anything at all... the only 'true' water to overcome it is by 'exposing yourself to it'... in small doses... and confronting that fear. (This is how I overcame my fear of spiders and drowning. But, I am still afraid of heights.) Take small steps. Say, one day, randomly start a conversation with a compete stranger. (You would be surprised at the number of people who are happy to give directions on a street. They feel good fir helping someone and are flattered that you thought highly enough of their intelligence to ask them. Also, giving directions is something they can do verbally and it doesn't cost them much time or effort. This seems to be a nearly universal attitude. If you wish to test you ability, you could ask them... "Have you ever been to the pace I am looking for? Is it nice there?, THEN, you are enquiring about their personal experiences and opinions. And, it is basic human nature to enjoy sharing those. A basic 'stygma' of shyness is, a fear of 'not knowing what to day' to someone. (This is sadly 'self progressing' fear. As it interrupts one's ability to speak effectively and the resultant perceived 'failure to communicate' serves to 'reinforce' the fear.听 Thus becoming a repeating cycle of deepening fear. But, this 'loop of fear' is easy to break. As, one good 'successful' conversation usually has more emotional gain than the 'losses' from ten 'failed' ones. Another key point to remember, is to 'forgive one's self, for perceived failures. No one is perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes, stumbles, or plays the fool (it is inevitable. It happens to EVERYONE eventually. Just be brave enough to TRY AGAIN. (The reward... 'not being lonely... is well worth the reward! Another point I wish to address is 'criticism'. EVERY time I have epicly failed at something there has ALWAYS been one complete ASS present , who felt socially inclined to ridicule me for it. Most Often, in front of other viewers. These morons are only attempting to 'cover' for their own failings, by ridiculing some other poor unfortunate. IF thus happens, just be prepared for it. Take their abuse with composure and integrity laugh it off. Once they realize they are not not going to make you feel bad, they usually fall silent anyway.听 No word ever said was ever as painful as a punch to the face. So, unless you are 'verbally attacking' someone, you can survive and recover from ANY conversation! Just start small. Take small steps. Become 'comfortable' with speaking to others, first. Then move on to speaking to larger groups of people, or fir longer lengths of time. Eventually, you will begin to speak without having to put any effort into it at all. Long ago... in the American sitcom 'Mork & Mindy'... the space alien Mork reported back to his honeworld, to his commander 'Orson'... that "it is supremely SAD that so many humans live their lives so completely alone and afraid. Devoid of any contact or warmth from others." Orson said, "This sounds like a terrible problem! Why don't the humans come together and create a solution for it?" To which, Mork replied, "THAT is the saddest part of all... if they would just Do that ONE SIMPLE THING.... there wouldn't be a problem to begin with." BE brave. Be wise. Take a risk.听 And, you WILL reap the benefits eventually! BE WELL, ALL.

I know it has been some time since I added to this thread, and interest in the topic may be gone. But, the following book recently came to my attention... I felt it might be helpful/relevant to anyone still interested in the topic. The book is: 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts', by Susan Cain. If you can find a copy, (and can read English or find a translated version), it might prove informative.

beppi, I agree with your idea above that introverts do not need to be fixed. Introverts should not feel ashamed or judged if they do not enjoy or seek out social situations.

R_Mortisse, I agree with your idea above that difficulty in social situations is something that people may want to "fix" in the sense of learning to overcome or manage fear successfully. Improving one's own ability to interact with people is a worthy and achievable goal for an introvert, since some social situations are inevitable in life, and we want to make the best of them.

I posted about Susan Cain's book on the first page of the thread, but now I realize I didn't include the title of the book in my post! Thanks for highlighting this information again for those who are interested. I have the book, and I have read it. I think it is encouraging for introverts and is informative for those who do not consider themselves introverts.

I think part of managing introversion is self-awareness. Once you know what kinds of things are fun and not fun for you, then you can start to arrange your life so that you can do more of the fun things and less of the not-fun things. This idea applies to many aspects of personality and skill.

Doing more of what you like (and what you are good at) is the idea behind the "Strengthsfinder" test. I read about the strengths it measures in a book called "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton. I think many people read the book when thinking about their careers, but you can also read it if you are interested in learning more about yourself in general. The book has a very positive focus. I highly recommend it.


There's a shorter, newer, related book about the Strengthsfinder test called Discover Your CliftonStengths. Also informative.


I also really liked this related book, First, Break All the Rules:


The philosophy of the books is very individualistic. According to these books, we are all different, and we should harness our differences to get the most from our careers and lives. This is a message I find very inspiring.

At last I find a smart reflection about people like me. Thank you for this comment. I think is clever and supportive at the same time.

That's real talk Beppi!!!

Oh no! I have been charged with this by many people. The thing is, I grew up in a large family and being the last child, I often had to observe what was going on in order to learn. As the years went by, I learned to occupy myself with things or activities to keep myself busy and independent from my siblings and my parents. I somehow could not tolerate having to wait for attention or to have my needs met or fight my way through siblings and cousins so I automatically began to pave my own path I guess. As a result, I never felt lonely or left out and I have had no issues with peer pressure, still don't. I have learned to do a lot of things on my own over the years and my family actually benefit from that.

I was born at home. I love being alone because I can do all things without interruption. It is difficult to do anything when family is around because everyone has an opinion and no one is willing to budge! aside from that, if we try to go out, everyone wants to go in a different direction and if they cannot go where they ask to go, no one gets to go anywhere. Huh? No one wants to meet in the middle. That is a big waste of my time and is often very frustrating. So I tend to do whatever I can by myself and I often enjoy doing so. I think it's a misconception that people tend to have when they assume that someone cannot be happy being alone. I am more productive when alone, I work better, I learn better, I organize better, think better, solve problems better and faster, I meet people and make friends as well. it's like having your own platform to do as much as you like.

My teen was the first to accuse me of being an introvert. So I assured her that I do not live my life to impress people. I will be me. If someone do not like me, that's ok. I can live with that. why? because I love me! so many times when we were able to reason with each other and go out together, I would often get in trouble for talking to people or singing karaoke if it is available as I try to get them to just relax, be themselves and participate. People will approach me and chat, I will approach someone and chat or give them a compliment, I would be the on the dance floor doing my thing and get scolded when I get back....im not afraid to mingle with anyone but I do not tolerate disrespectful, rude, toxic or nasty people so if I encounter those, I'm done.

So yes I enjoy being alone but I also spend time alone to avoid such people, I'm guilty of that and they are everywhere. However, I think I adjust well when socializing. When I'm out, I do socialize if the vibe is good, I'm confident enough but I often forget to smile. As for the party scene, I'm cool with that as long as the guys can understand that I am socializing, a couple of drinks (happy to pay) dance all night, movies, chatting....the usual and if I come alone I'm leaving alone. I am open to talk about anything but I limit sexual talk. I can talk about it in general as in sharing opinions but that's about it. This has been my biggest problem socializing. It has just been my experience. Every guy wants to get into that kind of talk but more on a personal note or they immediately want to hook up and I personally like to save that for my guy. The females just spend a lot of time comparing themselves or gossiping so I offer humor to keep things in check.

I think I make better social connections with people that converse intelligently. I can open up to people like that very easily as they manage to keep my interest. I give everyone a chance of course, but if the conversation do not progress or seem one sided, I lose interest. Maybe I am a sapiosexual introvert? how a person think has a lot to do with if I would socialize with them or even maintain a friendship.

so funnyyyy!

I have visited three different locations in Afrika,...comprising of three very different cultural bases. Indeed, most Afrikans (menfolk in particular) seem to be extremely paranoid, and introverted,...but more so toward each other, than they are toward other people. I have witnessed that behavior pattern (among different Afrikan nationals),...right here,...in Bangkok.听 听

Anyway,...to answer the OP's original question,,,.my reply is no,...I do not find introverts to be repulsive. In fact, introversion (as a behavior pattern) is typical of most East Asian cultures.

Are introverted people repulsive? No.

How to overcome introversion? You can't. It's part of your personality. But it doesn't necessarily have to negatively impact your life.

If you want to improve your socializing and communication skills, you can put yourself in more situations requiring these skills. This worked for me. I was studying in the US, and I was giving a speech in class every 2 or 3 weeks. I got a lot of practice, and now I have no issues working with people and leading teams and meetings and stuff.

In the Arab world, most people are extroverts, so there should be plenty of opportunities to socialize and mix it up. "Tlahlah" you might say.

The most difficult part is giving speeches and presentations. My English teacher, Mrs. Ott, gave excellent advice: "Know and love your subject. Present your subject with all you've got! With all your passion!" That's what she said, and that's what I did. And it worked. And I adopted this method to everything I do, and it made me very successful. The idea is also reflected in the following:

乇賵賶 丕賱廿賲丕賲 丕賱亘賷賴賯賷 乇丨賲賴 丕賱賱賴 毓賳 兀賲 丕賱賲丐賲賳賷賳 毓賻丕卅賽卮賻丞賻 亘賳鬲 丕賱氐丿賷賯 乇賻囟賽賷賻 丕賱賱賾賻賴購 毓賻賳賿賴賻丕 賵毓賳 兀亘賷賴丕 兀賳賴丕 賯賻丕賱賻鬲賿 賯賻丕賱賻 乇賻爻購賵賱購 丕賱賱賾賻賴賽 氐賻賱賾賻賶 丕賱賱賾賻賴購 毓賻賱賻賷賿賴賽 賵賻爻賻賱賾賻賲賻: 廿賽賳賾 丕賱賱賾賻賴賻 鬲賻毓賻丕賱賶 賷購丨賽亘賾 廿賽匕賻丕 毓賻賲賽賱賻 兀賻丨賻丿購賰購賲賿 毓賻賲賻賱丕賸 兀賻賳賿 賷購鬲賿賯賽賳賻賴購 ..丕賱丨丿賷孬

The only presentations I ever floundered were the ones I didn't prepare sufficiently for. When you talk about something that you're passionate about, the passion will break the awkward setting and create positive energy if you have a real purpose.

I'm a total introvert. If I can deal with it, anyone can.

I mean, introversion is not a disease, nor is it a disorder. It is a quality, opposed to social anxiety disorder (SAD).
IMO you can only temporarily mask introversion in order to get some work done, as in pass job interviews yada yada yada. It is mildly doable if you keep pushing yourself, it's like a practice.
SAD on the other hand is more bending to overcome because it's merely made, no one is ever born with SAD.

It's fine to want to be around more outgoing people, but it's a pretty big jump to call them repulsive or "antipathic." Speaks more to a lack of social skills and understanding than a true desire to be around people that lift you up. I think if you're more social, you'll find that introverted folks open up quite easily. Perhaps they can sense that belief on you and don't trust it so don't want to open up to you. Two sides to every coin, even socially.

Not at all and it sounds like you're paranoid, which is a form of selfishness. Take care of your own business rather than worrying about the thoughts of quiet people. Even outgoing people want to be left alone sometimes. It's also possible that "introverts" act that around you because they don't want to talk to you.

Repulsive is too strong a word. Not all introverts are nice, sure, but the same could be said for extroverts. And their idea of fun may be different from us who are more in between the spectrum, but that doesn't mean they're a bore. I say, live and let live.