Beach boys!

56POSTS

14 years ago

Good afternoon!

I would like to know if anyone have had any experience of interacting with beach boys in Mauritius. Have a young man ever approached you on the beach and started to flirt with you and give you compliments, and later on suggested that you'd offer him gifts or money?

I'm writing an article about this and any experience you might have would be useful!

Thanks!

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loublan Active member

87POSTS

14 years ago

I really would like to start flirting with you on the beach or everywhere, but I'm sure you will give money to me to stop this debut de romance :-)

Lanelle Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

have you also noticed how some locals just stare at you???

some even try to be overly friendly, touching you unnecessarily????

is this normal in mauritius????

Lanelle Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

not everyone and not all mauritians are like that! Right??? Am i right lina & lanelle??

zakhosx Member

21POSTS

14 years ago

That is really weird, but in nowadays terms, wouldnt that be described as a gigolo or something? I mean i have heard of things as such, but not here though. Its common in different countries, but its not done in public.

Lanelle Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

strange things do happen.

maybe, the locals think differently to us.

maybe, their culture is causing them issues about women?

jungleonyx Contributor

114POSTS

14 years ago

hello there,hope you can find good friends here in Mauritius and not the bad boys...

onyx

Rosiewestie Serial expat

593POSTS

14 years ago

I have been approached when I sometimes go to the beach on my own (a woman in her 50's) by young men, who sit down next to me and start chatting and openly flirting聽 - I just smile and tell them I live here and off they go to find someone else.

The thing is this is not just a "Mauritian" thing, it happens all over the world - take it for what it is a young man looking for a meal ticket - laugh it off with them and politely send them on their way - no harm done.

Regarding Mauritian people staring, touching and being over friendly - well I have found the Mauritian people to be some of the most friendliest smiling people I have ever come across and have not yet had one bad experience.

If anyone stars at you simply smile and I bet hey smile back at you

daisymay2 Serial expat

283POSTS

14 years ago

If you read the local newspapers you cant help but notice that yes the culture here can be described as sexist to put it politely, ie the amount of space devoted to so called beauty contests etc especially when you get an article on the same page about rape with all its gory details usually. It can take time to get used to it if you come from a western country but I'm afraid you have no choice but to get used to it.
Its is a macho culture and yes its maddening (speaking from a female point - I'm sure men out there will disagree and defend themselves)
As for being stared at, yes, it happens.
No one forces anyone to live here......

Lanelle Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

#10

it seems that only foreign women are subjected to unwelcome attention. do men here do this to their own local women??

yes, i am a free person and don't have to live here. no need to state the obvious.

jungleonyx Contributor

114POSTS

14 years ago

#11

hey girls,you need to adapt with the culture and look at the bright side of Mauritius the beach are wonderful,and the beauty of mountain聽 nature.no place is perfect but there are best place that we can enjoy and explore here in the Island.don't let small things ruined your stay just look for good friends and enjoy.

onyx

VeroniqueL Active member

37POSTS

14 years ago

#12

I've met European (female) tourists who actually come here to find a good-looking boy and pick him up for the duration of their stay. They pay for meals etc and are quite open about the whole thing. I guess those same boys just try their luck with other women!

daisymay2 Serial expat

283POSTS

14 years ago

#13

All women are subject to unwanted attention unfortunately Lanelle.
As a Brit married to a Mauritian guy I have noticed that some foreign women appear to invite trouble by the way they dress, especially on the beach......Men stare whether we like it or not, and if they have something to stare at they will. I dont agree with this, in fact it annoys me a lot, but I can't change society.
Just read the newspapers Lanelle. I often have a rant to my husband when reading them!

alisa_ram Serial expat

612POSTS

14 years ago

#14

It's not a foreigner problem.Same happens to local girls/women.People whistle,touch you,say things you really don't want to hear...It happens.

linapascal Active member

56POSTS

14 years ago

#15

Thanks for the input everyone! You may read my article about the subject in l'Express Weekly tomorrow if you wish!

Lanelle Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

#16

well, in my country if a woman is touched without consent by a potential male sex predator, this may constitute a sexual prosecutorial assault.

it may be me, I find it unacceptable that males cannot control themselves in this day and age.

if a woman is subjected to unwelcome attention, she must not smile back as this may be interpreted as welcoming such an attention. i would never smile back if i am being sexually stared or looked at.

alisa_ram Serial expat

612POSTS

14 years ago

#17

To prosecute you need grounds and proof.Avoid getting too close to people when you find yourself in public.I don't think anyone would like undesired attention.As for the whisling and verbal interactions,I find it useful to put my headphone/earphones on and listen to music..Another day gone by surviving in the jungle.

Lanelle Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

#18

alisa_ram wrote:
To prosecute you need grounds and proof.Avoid getting too close to people when you find yourself in public.I don't think anyone would like undesired attention.As for the whisling and verbal interactions,I find it useful to put my headphone/earphones on and listen to music..Another day gone by surviving in the jungle.

i can't see why women should run away nowadays. of course, i don't umderstand your culture and tradition. but, what i have said before is simply that, IN MY COUNTRY<, WE DON'T tolerate and encourage sex predators.

women don't get harassed in my country.

i have always qualified my postings. of course, if this is acceptable by you, well, it's not acceptable by me. maybe, i should move to another country where women can get more respect.

alisa_ram Serial expat

612POSTS

14 years ago

#19

Lanelle

if Belgium can enforce the law,then great.But here it's not the case.

You get punched on the road in broad daylight and report it to the police,they wont do anything about it.They actually told me I should've beaten the guy up.This is how bad it gets.And much more.

If you dont like it here and feel unsafe,by all means find yourself a better country.

And this is not part of聽 OUR culture,but a bunch of lunatic cracked pots.

NadsMeister Active member

67POSTS

14 years ago

#20

As a Mauritian (and a young man, or more like old teen), I believe that what you see as the inappropriate (maybe lustful or seemingly harmful) glances are in fact the conventional glances associated with attractiveness and beauty. The locals usually find foreign ladies profoundly attractive (the law of scarcity may have been applied here). It is normal to feel insecure sometimes, as those types of glances invade your private space visually.

For the most segment of the populace of younger man, touchy behaviors are almost absent. but it wholly depends on the individual's mindset; education may be decisive element (some from cit茅s/ghettos may be slightly illiterate in terms of academic knowledge, but we do not judge anyone; ethical values also have a vital role). Under the influence of alcohol, some may become undesirable.

And Mauritian ladies also have to deal with those glances. If I ever approach a lady near the beach (never did), I believe it would be more to share cultural values or have her opinion on a subject related to her (maybe her stay on the island) or something like that; she might misunderstand it as flirting while I'm being abysmally friendly.

alisa_ram Serial expat

612POSTS

14 years ago

#21

Lina

read your article.Nice job!

KevinC Member

13POSTS

14 years ago

#22

Hello,

Just to add what Nadeem said as above, it is true that Mauritian guys would stare and look differently in most cases at foreign ppl - this is the same for any asians, africans or Mauritians who are abroad mainly in scandinavian countries...I'm not being racist here - but it is natural sense to look/stare at people with different races you don't see often.

Surprisingly, some are considering a change in Black River to White river...more to follow!!!

Rgds,

Kevin

mike77 Active member

86POSTS

14 years ago

#23

Can someone plse put the link of the article of Lina.Cheers

daisymay2 Serial expat

283POSTS

14 years ago

#24

mike77 wrote:
Can someone plse put the link of the article of Lina.Cheers

Yes please, anyone got a link? I have no access to hard copy!
Daisymay:)

linapascal Active member

56POSTS

14 years ago

#25

Thanks for your interest! We normally don't publish acticles written in English at lexpress.mu, but if there is a will to read there is always a way! Drop me an email if you would like to have a look at the article.

daisymay2 Serial expat

283POSTS

14 years ago

#26

Thanks Lina!

Rosiewestie Serial expat

593POSTS

14 years ago

#27

Lanelle wrote:
alisa_ram wrote:
To prosecute you need grounds and proof.Avoid getting too close to people when you find yourself in public.I don't think anyone would like undesired attention.As for the whisling and verbal interactions,I find it useful to put my headphone/earphones on and listen to music..Another day gone by surviving in the jungle.

i can't see why women should run away nowadays. of course, i don't umderstand your culture and tradition. but, what i have said before is simply that, IN MY COUNTRY<, WE DON'T tolerate and encourage sex predators.

women don't get harassed in my country.

i have always qualified my postings. of course, if this is acceptable by you, well, it's not acceptable by me. maybe, i should move to another country where women can get more respect.

Women get harassed the world over - and if it does not happen in your Country then tell me why does your Country have a Harassment Law?

Which they have used and prosecuted people using this law in Belgium.

Also it does not just apply to men harassing women - women can harass men too

External ViP

2822POSTS

14 years ago

#28

Rosiewestie wrote:
Women get harassed the world over - and if it does not happen in your Country then tell me why does your Country have a Harassment Law?

Which they have used and prosecuted people using this law in Belgium.

Also it does not just apply to men harassing women - women can harass men too

Don't waste your time - he or she using the handle Lanelle is a troll, based in Australia, as per another thread which has been closed by Julien.

Julien Founder

53137POSTS

14 years ago

#29

External +1

just to let you know, every 3 months we've got someone with an Australian IP "trolling" on many threads, until we detect him and block the account. I wonder why that person is doing this again and again聽 ...

Rosiewestie Serial expat

593POSTS

14 years ago

#30

Julien wrote:
External +1

just to let you know, every 3 months we've got someone with an Australian IP "trolling" on many threads, until we detect him and block the account. I wonder why that person is doing this again and again聽 ...

I was confused before - I am now even more confused
Troll Australia
I had better get on to Google I think

daisymay2 Serial expat

283POSTS

14 years ago

#31

Rosie, IME of other sites trolls love the attention - they get a kick out of what they see as pulling the wool over everyones eyes!
I thought there was something very odd about the Lanelle character and that's why I replied to her on her own thread to try and see what she was up to!

stephenn Active member

57POSTS

14 years ago

#32

Julien wrote:
External +1

just to let you know, every 3 months we've got someone with an Australian IP "trolling" on many threads, until we detect him and block the account. I wonder why that person is doing this again and again聽 ...

His/her posts were only in the Mauritius forum and given the Australian IP, it may be connected to the flame war on the topix.com mauritius forum.聽 I'll spare you the details, but there's are few Mauritian keyboard warriors in Australia who are out to discredit Mauritius.聽 It takes lame to new levels.

Rosiewestie Serial expat

593POSTS

14 years ago

#33

Hi Guys,
Has anyone got the link to the article concerned please.

I have PM the author but think she may be very busy as I have heard nothing yet ;(

I would like to read this article.
Thank you

alisa_ram Serial expat

612POSTS

14 years ago

#34

Couldn't find it online. Need to scan a hard copy and post it.

Rosiewestie Serial expat

593POSTS

14 years ago

#35

alisa_ram wrote:
Couldn't find it online. Need to scan a hard copy and post it.

Thanks Alisa
I also tried to find it online but no luck
Many thanks

linapascal Active member

56POSTS

14 years ago

#36

Hi!

I apologize for my absence. I'll email those who have asked for the article tonight!

Rosiewestie Serial expat

593POSTS

14 years ago

#37

linapascal wrote:
Hi!

I apologize for my absence. I'll email those who have asked for the article tonight!

Thank you

VeroniqueL Active member

37POSTS

14 years ago

#38

Ok - I am now sorry to have posted a response to this post.

Today I received my third private message from would-be Mauritian beach boys asking me for contacts!

Although I have just ignored them (and laughed a little!) to date, I need to send out a message to any future readers of my post:

I do not run an introduction agency...I just met these women while my husband and I were sitting at various cafes over the years and started chatting to them - I don't know them, none of them are my friends and I certainly am not interested in setting anyone up. No offense, but please don't send me any messages asking to be hooked up! Don't be lazy - do it yourself if that's what you're into! I'm pretty sure it's not that hard!

Lordy!! Gotta be really careful what I write in future!

Still, it is a bit funny!

But I should add that the messages were all very polite - nothing offensive.

Armand ViP

24785POSTS

14 years ago

#39

Hi VeroniqueL!

Sorry to read this. Of course this is not what the site is for.
Don't forget that you can use the report system anytime for any issue.

Thanks
Armand

Phil_in_France Active member

31POSTS

14 years ago

#40

Interesting comments and observations here.

One thing I will say for Mauritius since I came here is the number of women working at a professional level and comfortably holding their own in a previously male-dominated IT environment. The ratio is much higher than anything Ive seen in Europe. (UK, France, Germany, Belgium, Switzerland)

I am a firm believer that platonic relationships are only possible if you are less than 10 or over 80. Anything between is largely a self deception despite the socially manipulative messages of American sit-coms.

So if a man sits next to a woman on a beach then do you really need to be told why he is there?聽 If you feel that the conduct of certain men is 'sexist' then remember that you are not in Western Europe and their action is quite likely to be seen as normal by local police and local women. Its time to get assertive and make it clear that such advances are not welcome.....just as women had to in Europe back in the 60s/70s/80s/90s....and continue to do so.

Body language and staring: Its off-putting and its happens to me, a 58 year old European male. Don't let it worry you too much unless there is follow-on. Remember that there are a lot of differences between the body language of different nationalities. Good eye-contact for example is seen as a prerequisite for determining if a person is honest and trustworthy. Yet if you try it with a Japanese person then you will likely get written off as rude or aggressive.聽

I fear that we from the West have still not lost our superiority complex and feel that our social values are best. Well, when it comes to attitudes toward women, there is a lot to lean and adopt. Otherwise, any expectation that local people should adopt 'our' values and rules will result in failure.

Not that I dont have pet peeves of my own : I hate it when shop assistants follow you around the shop as though I am going to steal something. Perhaps they are but in truth they are likely making themselves available in case I need help.

This is a different world. Celebrate the differences.