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NicoleAyedi wrote:

Hello I am 37 with kids i am engaded to a 25 year old Tunisian man. I have recently heard that men in Tunisia are qnever allowed by their parents to marry an older women most less one with kids unless it is for the sake of getting papers to live in another country. That they will divorce and take a Tunisian wife later on. I am curious to know if this is the truth.

Hi Nicole Ayedi,

It's not just in Tunisia where it's uncommon for 25 year old single men to marry older women with kids. It's uncommon all around the world for obvious reasons. What's common in Arab countries, is for men to marry younger single women, even at times, much younger than in other parts of the world.

Keep in mind Tunisia has a huge level of unemployment. There is little to no prospects & opportunities for many of the young there. As such many are looking for any way out to escape from this miserable situation. So out of desperation, they & their family will do and accept anything to get papers to any developed country where they have better chances of improving their lives.

Usually what happens is once they get those papers and settle abroad permanently, they no longer *need* the person they are "married" to, since they've now accomplished their goal of settling abroad (i.e they divorce them).

There is nothing wrong with wanting to move to a country with a higher quality of life, but using someone to do that, exploiting them, taking advantage of them, misleading them into believing it's a genuine loving marriage, is wrong, and disgustingly selfish. Simply ask yourself, if he was already living in your area, would he honestly be interested in getting married to you, or is it more likely he will seek someone of a similar age, no kids, and background? Don't allow anyone to use you to achieve their own goals in life. You will end up paying the price financially, emotionally, and mentally.

NicoleAyedi wrote:

Thank you for your opinion and i have thought about this honestly myself. He has even said something about doing a contract so that I know he never wants to divorce.   Something that keeps me safe. I thought it is just a way to make me feel better. I have dated younger men before here  but never this big of a gap. I honestly did not see him coming. My ex husband was 7 years younger than me and we were together 13 years. I do agree with what you are saying. I should look at it as if would he be intrested in me if he was here.

A contract to say he will never divorce you.....................are you kidding??  It is not normal for a Tunisian male to marry someone older, they want children of their own and not normal for them to accept the children of another man.  You need to understand that the majority of mixed marriages will fail, in fact you can look up the stats if you want.  The figures tell that 98% of foreign women married to a Tunisian male end in divorce.  Think seriously about this relationship and the underlying reasons he wants to marry you.

Ozitoun wrote:

That's a sad statement
I was born in Tunisia living in the USA for 45 years... Married to my American wife for 40 years
Kids-grd kids-

Don't underestimate all Tunisian men..lol

Olivier zitoun

Well that is good for you, but you are living in the USA right?  I live in Tunisia

XB23 wrote:

Tunisiandolly - I sent her a message explaining all that, and the real reason why he 'wants' her. I also told her no such contract exists! All of it is very obvious to me, as I'm from a very similar culture and mentality!

In response to her latest comment - Of course he isn't going to ask her for anything because he doesn't want her to suspect he is just using her. And of course he will pay for everything, as it's his 'investment' for a visa to the USA. So it's well worth the cost for him. Much cheaper than applying for his own visa and paying for his own accommodation and living expenses there! Once he gets to the USA, and this investment has paid off, the real true self is quick to show. Not just him, but in most mixed marriages of this kind. They run off at the earliest opportunity. And of course he will say come live in Tunisia, to 'prove' that he isn't interested in a visa to the USA. But they say that knowing that it's not practical for the American to leave their life there to come and live in Tunisia. So he knows the answer to this already, but just asks it to convince her it's her he wants, not the USA.

All this is so obvious to me, to the point I just can't believe some people will fall for this kind of scam. Their loss, not mine.

Yes you are right.  I live in Tunisia and I see this all the time.  It makes me crazy but if no-one listen then it's for them to pay the price