Is my Tunisian boyfriend just using me page 2 - Tunisia forum

GuestPoster542 · 2019-02-11T03:41:03+01:00

De dónde eres? No se te complicó mucho viajar?

Is my Tunisian boyfriend just using me

Joseph Silva Member

2POSTS

5 years ago

#41

De d贸nde eres? No se te complic贸 mucho viajar?

Priscilla ViP

42358POSTS

5 years ago

#42

@ Joseph Silva :

Can you please post in english on this english speaking forum?

Thank you,

Priscilla
大咖福利影院 Team

justmacy Active member

81POSTS

5 years ago

#43

After having a stroke and being forced to retire, I moved to Tunisia. I met my husband a week after arriving. I rented an apartment from his family and that was the only time he asked me for money, which is justified because paying for housing is a necessity.
That was almost 5 years ago and we have been together since shortly after that. We married almost 2 years ago. He made it clear that he didn't want to leave his family and friends, and I planned on permanently staying here.
Long story short, as some of my family members have passed away and my mom and younger brother are going through some serious health issues, I became deeply depressed. He tried to be supportive and finally said let's move so you can be with your family, as long as I promise to come back once a year with him to see his family.
He works nights doing security, which pays fair. He knows that my money could cover everything, but says to save it for immigration costs. He asked me for money once when his tooth cracked and he wasn't paid for another week. I didn't consider that a problem since it's not happened other than him collecting rent in the beginning and I saw that it was an emergency situation.

Joseph Silva Member

2POSTS

5 years ago

#44

I do not speak English, and although this forum is English speaking it has the option to translate so you can also translate with all due respect.

helensou Member

23POSTS

5 years ago

#45

Justmacy - Great to hear a good news story for a change, but sorry to hear about your health issues (though in general I wouldn't have thought Tunisia a wise choice for someone living within a limited means who might need to pay for expensive private health care).

justmacy Active member

81POSTS

5 years ago

#46

I worked as a nurse for 30 years and my disability is equal to me working a 40 hour week. The American dollar goes extremely far here. Plus, it was my vacation spot for years, so it was like a second home to me.
Also, I pay cash for all my medical. The medicine is only $300 American each month, but in the states it was $1,500 monthly. So in the long run I'm actually saving by being here.

Shanaka11 New member

8POSTS

4 years ago

#47

Thanks for posting this. I'm going through similar situation. I met a Tunisia guy online and he also asked me for money. He also didn't seem compassionate for my situation and family problems I was experiencing. I valued the the part you said about in their religion, it's not a good thing

justmacy Active member

81POSTS

4 years ago

#48

Constantly being asked for money is no good. For him not to care about what is going on with your family is a big red flag, family is the most important thing to the people here.
As far as religion goes, it's very important to some, but to a rat, money is their God.

2 members reacted to this post

Shanaka11 New member

8POSTS

4 years ago

#49

Thanks Macy and Alum. I found your post very valuable. I was talking to this Tunisian guy for 1.5 years now and we have become very close like a couple.聽 We have had a few falling outs during this time and didn't talk to each other as we felt hurt. One time we fell out is because he asked for money and I said I'm also financially struggling. He didn't talk to me but then again started. There were other times due to other reasons. Each time we fell out, he made me feel bad and says disrespectful things. Today he told me he was chatting to a girl in Europe less than a month ago and she sent him money and they haven't even talked for long and he's wanting a girl like that and I don't even help him. I felt really sad when he said this. He forgot the fact that I sent him 120 dinar last year and he said it's not much but it's all I could afford at the time

1 member reacted to this post

mohamedalitlili New member

8POSTS

4 years ago

#50

Hi, I am tunisian and I've been reading this post and its comments. I think that any kind of generalization is unfair to the ones who are not "love-rats" as you have mentioned.

@shanaka, from your story,聽 I think that the guy is unfortunately using you..

1 member reacted to this post

Shanaka11 New member

8POSTS

4 years ago

#51

@guestposter552; The same thing happened to me. I'm on a big guilt trip right now and been on this guilt trip before. I sent him 120 dinar before but couldn't afford to send any after that. He said rude and disrespectful unwarranted things to me. I feel so stupid and wonder why I started talking to him again. Last night he told me I am not sending him money and it breaks his heart as he doesn't earn enough. A girl who he talked to less than a month sent him money and helped him when he needed unlike me

Shanaka11 New member

8POSTS

4 years ago

#52

@mohamed thanks for your advice.聽 It's sad it came to this and the fact that I let it happen. I'm not sure if I should block him or continue to talk to him.

I know in my country you can do a lot with 120 dinar like groceries for 2 weeks for a family of 3-4. Is it regarded low in Tunisia that he acted like it was nothing much?

mohamedalitlili New member

8POSTS

4 years ago

#53

@shanaka 120 dinars are not that much but does it really matter? In my opinion to your relationship seems unhealthy.

2 members reacted to this post

page4091 New member

4POSTS

4 years ago

#54

I'm sorry to tell you but yes he is using you you probably let this go on too long you saw the signs but ignore them the best thing for you to do is to block him move on with your life because you are wasting your time there is someone out there who will care about you and not what you can give them

3 members reacted to this post

KhaledEz New member

5POSTS

4 years ago

#55

Hi there,

If you start asking such a question, certainly because something pushed you to

Be strong my friend!

2 members reacted to this post

aleksandra2 Member

23POSTS

4 years ago

#56

He is 100% using you.聽 He is making you feel guilty for not sending money?聽 Why is it your responsibility to support him... If he's talking to other women and they're sending money then he's just trying to get as many women as he can to send him $$.

120 dinars may not be much, BUT... for some it's almost 1 weeks worth of wages in Tunisia.聽 If he's already working and making money... 120 dinars would be great.聽 I have a friend who pays 180 dinars for a cute apartment every month with a massive rooftop patio... so don't be fooled.

2 members reacted to this post

Shanaka11 New member

8POSTS

4 years ago

#57

Thank you very much Aleksandra, Mohamed, Page, Khaled for your advice. It's invaluable. I was feeling upset and I can't tell you how much you have helped me. It helps having this forum and you for people like me.

You are right. The amount of money doesn't matter. Even if I sent him what he wants, he will keep asking again. He probably collects money and flirt with many other girls. I remembered ages ago he brought himself Versace jeans, Nike shoes and other designer clothes so I thought he was well off. Even people who have high pay jobs in my country can't afford designer clothes and prefer to spend that money on their home, bills, food, education etc instead. In addition, I believe conflicts can be resolved amicably but he always condenscends and makes me feel bad so I'm walking away as I would never put up with this behaviour from someone living locally.

Thanks so much friends!

4 members reacted to this post

aleksandra2 Member

23POSTS

4 years ago

#58

Most of the Versace, Gucci etc. stuff in Tunisia that people buy is knock offs.

You're right... would you accept to be treated in this manner by a local man?聽 Nope.聽 So, don't be fooled by some sweet words that turn vile when he doesn't get what he wants...

2 members reacted to this post

bmordah Member

2POSTS

4 years ago

#59

hi all, just reading up on some things. Im looking to get married to a Tunisian Man as soon as we can work out all the details. Imust admit reading all thes things about yes marry or no marry or age differnce. well its got me hinking. I have been scammed recently so i know all about it. But i must say the man i want to marry showds no聽 signs not one, of trying to scam me, I have met his family thru our phone callsn we talk on n off all day ,video chat every night, he has not asked me for a dime. i am 20 years older than he is, my children are grown but he knows about them. Am i being scammedor not, i dont believe so but like i said i have been scammed before and im not sure, i really cant imagine this man being a scammer.

3 members reacted to this post

vermi25 New member

5POSTS

4 years ago

#60

My husband is tunisian we have a son and聽 been together for 7 years and one night decided that he was going to get mad and hit me, I hit him back the police got involved and few months after he disappeared no contacts no financial support聽 for over 5 months niw. Tried asking g his family back in tunisia if they heard from him and they not responding.聽 He got his UK visa because of us.. it will expire next year. It really hurts because I did everything to help him and our son is asking for him everyday. I never imagined he could do anything like this. . @GuestPoster542

1 member reacted to this post

justmacy Active member

81POSTS

4 years ago

#61

Unfortunately, hitting is normal here. My husband told me once that he was going to frappe me and it triggered me and I knocked his tooth out. His father saw that and beat him for it.

I had a very abusive marriage and it will never happen again to me. I also had a lot of brothers who picked one and showed me how to defend myself.

That's been 5 years ago and he has never tried to do it again.

I'm sorry that this happened to you. Truthfully, you will probably not hear from him again until he either wants his visa renewed or you got divorce paperwork from Tunisia because he went home.

Just worry about you and your son now and give yourself time to grieve for what you had, not an abuser. Your baby needs to see a strong and healthy mother so that he can grow up to be a good man.

Shanaka11 New member

8POSTS

4 years ago

#62

@vermi25 don't help him get his visa renewed or gain citizenship to your country. Abuse should not be tolerated. It's bad for both you and your son. A loving sensible man should support his family and know how to control his behaviour and anger. You deserve so much better

2 members reacted to this post

vermi25 New member

5POSTS

4 years ago

#63

馃馃馃き蔼蝉迟耻尘辫测

Mohammed Bin Tawil Member

11POSTS

4 years ago

#64

Everyone expressed their concern about asking for money, and I share the opinion

But let me tell you

In our religion, Islam: A Quranic verse (賷賻丕兀賻賷購賾賴賻丕丕賱賻賾匕賽賷賳賻丌賲賻賳購賵丕丕噩賿鬲賻賳賽亘購賵丕賰賻孬賽賷乇賸丕賲賽賳賻丕賱馗賻賾賳賽賾廿賽賳賻賾亘賻毓賿囟賻丕賱馗賻賾賳賽賾廿賽孬賿賲賹) (Some suspicion is a sin) This does not mean not being careful

But do not assume that this act has bad intentions and that it is a bad thing as long as we do not live in the same situation for this person

Madam, be careful, and know that most of the mentality of young people in Tunisia is to emigrate outside the country, and they may sometimes practice hunting women to be victims of unreal love.

There are those who are frank with their girlfriend that he wants to use her to get out of the country (this manhood is really), and there are those who manipulate the feelings of beautiful women for their own purposes.

Be careful, beautiful women

This world has become the forest

2 members reacted to this post

justmacy Active member

81POSTS

4 years ago

#65

@ Mohammed,

You make great points. What women in general need to do is measure the man they are talking to with the men she sees in her country.

What I mean by that is if you have a man locally, what would you expect? And if they are treated any different by someone foreign, why allow that?

Courtesy and politeness are basic manners, why not expect them from any human, no matter where they are from.

A good relationship requires talking, understanding, and mutual respect. It should never be less than that EVER!

1 member reacted to this post

Mohammed Bin Tawil Member

11POSTS

4 years ago

#66

@justmacy
You are correct, but the difference between the two scenes

There is good and bad everywhere, and there are anomalies in every rule

We cannot judge humanity by one or two experiences, knowing that there are hundreds of successful cases that we may not hear about because they are not published.

The rule here is only what is published: the victim expresses dissatisfaction with his experience

But I tell you that the world is still fine, and there is good everywhere, just as there is evil everywhere

Whoever in this life does not aspire to stability and to find the right partner with whom he shares ideas, love and the cruelty and sweetness of life. Rather, he gives up some of his habits that he was raised on for the sake of the partner.

Relationships may fail, and this is not the end of the world. Failure is our lifelong partner in working in relationships in the family, and we must not despair and always try to find our chance in all these matters.

We just have to always have patience, love, honesty and faith, they are the basis of success even if after a while

1 member reacted to this post

Maurice Doye Active member

68POSTS

4 years ago

#67

Bonjour

Je ne dirais que cela:

""L'amour rend aveugle, inconscient聽 et idiot.""

justmacy Active member

81POSTS

4 years ago

#68

@Mohammed, I was talking about every foreign long distance relationship in general.

My husband is Tunisian and after 5 years,we are a success story. Normal ups and downs, but great overall.

My ex husband is also Tunisian and I experienced every level of hell with him.

So I can understand things from the bad side also.

I have also watched friends go through the good and bad from their long distance relationships with men from many different countries.

There are good and bad people in the world. Unfortunately, we do usually read the bad.

My reason for being here is because I am an expat, but on a thread like this I try to share what I have been through with both marriages to show that while I did have it bad for some time, I did let another person into my life and it was wonderful. Don't let the bad keep you down and hold you back. There is good out there, but just take your time and let it come to you.

2 members reacted to this post

ariandre17 New member

7POSTS

4 years ago

#69

@Mohammed Bin Tawil

A long-distance relationship always raises questions. Reading here all the negative messages about Tunisian boys can create more doubts. Should never be generalized.

I have been with my Tunisian boy for 1 year and he has never failed me so far. I have been to visit him and he has covered all the expenses of my hotel, meals and other things and he got offended every time I tried to pay. He has never asked me for anything. He has given me a beautiful engagement ring and we are preparing everything to get married soon. my experience is very positive. Good things must also be told here.

And tell girls in my same situation that if there is true love, everything is possible, regardless of race, religion or distance

4 members reacted to this post

Maurice Doye Active member

68POSTS

4 years ago

#70

Bonjour

Mais pourquoi toujours parler de l'arbre qui cache la for锚t.

Sachez que vos t茅moignages peuvent influencer des personnes fragiles psychologiquement. Combien de Tunisiens, paye : "" H么tel, restaurant, bague de fian莽ailles, mariage, etc;; ;"" Sa doit 锚tre du1 %

Bon courage

justmacy Active member

81POSTS

4 years ago

#71

@Maurice Doye ce forum est anglophone.聽 les gens posent des questions et nous fournissons simplement les informations qu'ils demandent.聽 c'est ce que nous avons v茅cu.

Cheryl Moderator

16293POSTS

4 years ago

#72

Write in English only please.

Cheers,

Cheryl

大咖福利影院 team

1 member reacted to this post

Nabia_Kacem Member

1POSTS

3 years ago

#73

@ANGULARMOMENTUM i totally agree with, what happened to others is unfortunate, but sometimes you may missed out on your happiness if you don't trust your guts instinct...Many may give聽 you sad stories, but its worth a shot.

Christine Salecroix New member

3POSTS

3 years ago

#74

Bonjour,

Je ne parle pas anglais.

Merci de communiquer en Fran莽ais

Cordialement

kuriako Active member

53POSTS

3 years ago

#75

There鈥檚 an Amazigh proverb.. 鈥淚f you don鈥檛 understand when someone explains to you, you will realize the truth when you experience it鈥� (Paraphrased)

Besh wishes everyone.. 馃檹鉂わ笍馃愤

2 members reacted to this post

Windy6996 Active member

31POSTS

3 years ago

#76

@GuestPoster542 OMG, this is exactly what my mother's man in Tunisia says. He lives with his mother and says work is hard to find. However my mother is 75 and hers is 25. Big difference. And she sends him thousands of dollars. She went there after only 2 months meeting him online and married him. Now trying to get him here. I know that he is bluffing my mother. Yours does not seem so bad. IDK. It's wrong for a man to ask a woman for money especially when you're in your position. US by the way. Blessings to you and God Bless you in Jesus Name!

Windy6996 Active member

31POSTS

3 years ago

#77

@GuestPoster542 at least you acknowledge that there is a good chance that he is bluffing you! That is a blessing! My mother is under total deception. God has a good man on your path in the future in the U.S. That will work, treat you well and not lie to you! He will love you and your children, just keep believing and trusting in God! I promise! You will see!

Prayers!