大咖福利影院

@Cheryl

An excellent prompt, Cheryl, thank you!

Have you found it easy to connect with fellow expats or locals in the Philippines? Why or why not?

First, I would say that I have been blessed to meet a beautiful woman here and all other relationships pale in comparison to the joy I find in my relationship with my girlfriend/partner.

With regard to other friendships/connections, I wouldn't say it's easy, but then I am not super outgoing.聽 I have had some success connecting with fellow expats, but it is primarily because many expats stay or live in my condominium complex in Lapu-Lapu City.聽 I met one guy who subsequently introduced me to others.聽 I currently enjoy a weekly coffee time at a local coffee shop with these guys.聽 I really look forward to that time!聽 I wish that a few more people would join the group and I wish that we met more frequently.

Have you noticed cultural differences in the way people make friends or share personal matters?

I haven't noticed any cultural differences.聽 I feel like maybe some expats are more private and reserved.聽 I have my theories as to why that is so, but I will keep those to myself.

I am just very comfortable being myself when I meet someone new.聽 If we hit it off, that's great, and if we don't I move on.聽 Everyone has different interests, but we are all human.聽 I try to find ways to connect on the human level.聽 I must say one of the greatest benefits to these associations is problem-solving together when encountering the inevitable difficulties that arise with living in a foreign country.

Since moving to the Philippines, how have your friendships back home evolved? Do you ever feel 鈥渙ut of sync鈥� with friends and family in your home country?

I am just thankful for the amazing technology that we have.聽 I just recently returned from a trip to the U.S. and I now enjoy a weekly video call with my brothers there.聽 I look forward to the calls and hope they will continue.

On the flip side, I do feel a little out-of-sync with my adult children.聽 They haven't been interested in a regular, scheduled video call and I miss seeing their faces and hearing their voices.

How do you deal with the temporary nature of many expat friendships when people (or you) eventually move on?

I spent time in the military and I'm comfortable with the temporary nature of friendships.聽 I just practice gratitude for these seasons of fellowship and hold these people in my heart.聽 I like this excerpt from a poem by Lord Byron:

"If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?--

With silence and tears."

Have you changed the way you approach relationships since becoming an expat?

No, not really.聽 I just go through life being myself.聽 I'm fortunate because I am an introvert and enjoy spending lots of time by myself.聽 But I do treasure my friendships and my social time.

What has been your biggest challenge in building or maintaining friendships in the Philippines? Any advice to share?

I think my biggest challenge has been knowing how to meet local people and move beyond casual commercial or service interactions to something more.聽

I'm sorry I don't really have any advice to share.聽 I will look forward to reading the reflections of my fellow expats.

@Cheryl

My Experience Living in the Philippines

The Philippines is a wonderful place to live. To get along well here, you need to treat people with real respect 鈥� and never act like you are better than them. You will meet all kinds of people here: those with money, and those without. Often, the people who have very little are the warmest and most genuine friends you will ever find. Those who have more can sometimes be a little harder to get close to, but that depends on where you are and the kind of people around you.

Making friends here is easy if you are humble and truly interested in others. You adapt to their ways, but you never have to lose who you are. Just be yourself, and people will welcome you.

Back home in Trinidad, I was always moving around, so I never kept many close friends. Here, I have found that Filipinos value friendship and family very deeply 鈥� they stand by you and care for you in a way that feels very special.

The one thing to be careful of: some people see you as a foreigner and assume you have plenty of money. They will invite you out, but then expect you to pay for everything. Not everyone is like that though! Many people have very little, yet will go out of their way just to be close to you and get to know you. You just learn to tell the difference.

If you are thinking of moving here: first decide what kind of life you want. Do you want quiet and peace near the sea? Or do you want the city, nightlife, and busier places? There is something for every kind of person here. If you can, visit first to look around, or ask people who have lived here a long time.

If you come for work: it is much easier to do online or remote work from here. Local jobs are very hard for foreigners unless you have a special skill they really need. Starting a business can do very well, but you must study what people actually need here.

If you would like more detailed advice or have any questions at all, I am very happy to help you.

My name is Garthon Frederick

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Hello everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to share your experiences and bringing out some interesting perspectives. 馃槉

I like how both of you highlight the importance of staying open-minded and building relationships based on respect.

Garthon, your point about taking time to understand the kind of lifestyle you want before moving is a great piece of advice for future expats.

Thanks again for sharing your stories!

Cheryl

大咖福利影院 team