Expat eventually...
I hate to do it, but I need to ask yet another relationship question. Most answers I have looked for I have found easily doing research. This is more of an opinion type question for you salty expats and possibly your wives as well. Any guidance/opinions are appreciated.
I am 47 yrs old. I am a one time divorcee with no kids. I have always been attracted to Asian women. I have recently decided the meaning to my life will be to work hard the next ten to twelve years and retire to the Philippines far earlier than I would be able to USA. The reasons are all the same. In the interest of keeping this post succinct, I won't go into them.
Here is where I need some wisdom and direction. I have two plans I could pursue:
  I could work for the next two years, take off six months, and go to Philippines to live. My intention would be to explore where I want to live in the future, but more importantly, and the biggest reason would be to meet my future wife to marry and bring back to the states temporarily until retirement. I am embarking on a mid life career change from middle management corporation to OTR truck driver. If I brought my wife back, I would like to see how she would like to explore while driving and living on the road. If she didn't, I have the experience to get a local driving job and be home daily.
  I could just wait till I retire, move to the Phil and meet someone at that point.
I am not super lonely, that being the reason for sooner than later. The reason is because I would like a little less of an age difference than when I am 60. I have no issue with those that have large age gaps, I am happy if they found someone, I would just prefer within 20 years. There is also the children topic that i assume will come up. While i am not overly interested in having children at 47 yo, I definitely won't at 60.Â

The reason this is even a question is, driving OTR the next twelve years I could save some serious money. I wouldn't buy a house and would live a minimalist lifestyle. I already have 120000 saved so i am well on my way. But, even if it took a little of my nest egg away to marry in two years, i would still have enough to do it.
Any thoughts? thanks by the way for all the valuable information already posted.
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As an expat who has lived in the Philippines for the past 5 years, I feel somewhat qualified to answer. I would not tell anyone, expat or Filipino how much money you have, from under the rocks the scammers will creep like the snakes they are, from both sides of the ocean. All of them like snake oil vendors selling the one pill a day wonder cure for all your ills. But to return to the main topic, for a estimated $400000 you can fund a purchase of a beach villa that is huge 4-5 bedrooms, private beach either on Cebu or Negros , the weather is very different here than the USA, it is hot and very humid, Where I am at it runs between 68 at night to 85 in daytime with 70 to 80% humidity. The electric is unreliable as 90% is supplied by hydroelectric plants which cannot keep up with the demand. Many expat dwellings have a generator usually on a standby sensor. A 12kw will cost around $5000, as far as women they are plentiful and easy to approach for the most part, and without a doubt very beautiful, but like anything else there are good and bad. Your house, you cannot own real property in the Philippines with the exception of some condos. You best bet is to find a lawyer you can trust who knows the laws and ask for a consultation, But the property laws are very straight forward. Any other questions feel free to ask.
THE MINDSET OF THE PINAY.
"She would much rather live poor in America than wealthy in the Philippines ".
As far as your financial goals. Things change drastically over the timespan that you are talking about.
$120,000.00 is 6,000,000.00 the average family could live a lifetime off of that kind of money and never go broke. I have a house and lot. New construction, three bedroom two bath all modern for less than $25k. A car cost less... Food and utility $5k per year... Seriously? Dude you can do this now you just need a better plan.
60 k in pesos is $1,300.00 no way does the average American pay that for a one bedroom... Maybe NYC or LA... So think like I do... If the average working professional here makes less than $1,000.00 dollars a month then surely you should not be spending anywhere near that to live here because obviously they are doing pretty good with what they earn taking care of their family and sending kids to school and so on... Remember I said working professional... That is the Pinoy who lives in a house and drives a car with a wife and three kids. Don't allow anyone to tell you that it depends on how you want to live here... There is only one way and I call it the Pinoy way... When in Rome. So you being a middle class working stiff shouldn't be bothered by living here amongst the same. Use what is free... COMMON SENSE. I promise it's free money.
I am a white guy, but so what. As a Vietnam vet who learned the hard way no matter the skin color, once cut or punctured the same color liquid oozes out, it is red.
The sooner we stop classifying different culture by the color of our skin, the better off we will be.
Sirrob- Thank you very much for your advice. YOU ARE one of the reasons why I want to retire to the Philippines. If i was fortunate to marry a good Filipina, my plan already is to buy (she would obviously) a reasonable place among the native people outside the city. I may consider waffle box housing, with subsidized solar power. I have also decided i would eventually like to raise some chickens, rabbits (for food, not pets), and maybe a small vege garden. I like to eat healthy and would like a hobby anyways. The reasons for some of this stuff is I would like to leave my wife, and kids if it goes there, with a invested future, house that's paid for, reduced costs through solar and small hobby farm. I have no issues with race, color, and don't expect USA standards of living in some respects. I do realize i could make it happen now, but want a few more years for a little more savings and also earning years towards my retirement benefit. Again this is so my future family is good when i leave, and also we can enjoy life a little while i am around.
Thanks a lot for the Pinay perspective. I had been thinking the exact opposite. I figured she would want to be closer to family and maybe just loves her home country.
Madhatter- I appreciate your advice and can understand the approach you had giving me insight on the wide range of housing, and really lifestyles of Expats living in Philippines. You are right in line with monthly costs i read from other Expats. While i am planning that scenario, I am also planning on making upfront investments, like i mentioned, to bring those costs down for the long term.
Who knows? Maybe i won't even meet on Filipina I want to marry, and I will just be hanging out exploring...
thanks again to both of you.
Ahh yes the gold diggers. They are out there and everywhere. Here in the USA, in the Philippines.. everywhere. I agree with you on buying if i meet the right one. Wouldn't want to leave em hanging high and dry after I am gone.
but as i say i had all the luck in the world,manny got verry unlucky,so be aware of wath you do.
i have the advantige of telling my future wife wen we met on line that i was not rich,witch is the truth,her answer that she did not care abouth that ,made us stay in tuch and finaly getting maried hahaha
we have a modest inkome (my pension) and do wel here .
so to make you see the posibilitys, 1300us dolar is about what we live on
for the moment we rent (7000 peso a month) and wil save money to buyor own lot and build or own house.
land can be cheap or expansive depending on the location ,on the isl of Masbati there was a plot of 23 hectares for sale for les that 40000 peso haha,my wife sayd no becorse this is typhoon highway region haha
les than 1 hectare in Manila orso wil kost a multitide of this price ,so the posibilitys are so to say endles .
explore and learn i woold say
living among the lokal ppl is great to me ,but i dont mind some karaoke late at night wen some one is having a selebration or so .again explore and lurn he
Filipine ppl have been great to me (but it seems am a lucky fellow hahaha).
before desaiding on anything i think for most ppl it is best to spend some time here.
as sayed am lucky have a great wife,great inlaws and met manny good ppl here.
so ,i hope this is helpful to ya , greets Dirk
Dirk-You are a lucky man! Congratulations. Yes your information, as well as everyone's information on this forum is helpful. Your monthly budget is right on with what I have heard for living there. Obviously, you can spend a lot more, or a little less, but that seems to be the average. Thanks for the prices on land. Sounds like you have a nice life carved out for yourself there. Thanks again!
wen visiting the Phils,always welkome to stay at ower place,we live in Mati city Davao Oriental ,nice little city witch is in full developement.
manny expats live in closed comunitys with a wall around and armed guards at the entrance,am ex military and prefere not to live in a place that remembers me to mutch on my past so i live among local ppl ,find it more my style haha.
but some go for "security",i find peace of mind here,to each his own he hahahahaha
a fin ,good luck ,and remember welkome here.
greets Perlie & Dirk
You said your plan is to come here, find a Filipino wife, bring her back to the states, and then retire in the Philippines. The problem is she might not want to go back to the Philippines.
Have you considered getting acquainted with Filipino women who are actually already living in the states? Almost all of the Filipino-foreigner couples I am acquainted with, and who also have a successful marriage, first met outside the Philippines.
They were co-workers, friends of friends or relatives, neighbors, or members of the same organization or group. Living in the foreign country for some time, the Filipino spouse had assimilated foreign culture and understood the rationale behind her spouse's likes, dislikes, quirks, values, plans for the future.
I and my husband met in the US. We were introduced to each other by relatives who were co-workers. My neighbors first met in Australia. They were co-workers. One of my clients were members of a religious organization. We all were already in successful marriages before we moved here.
I have 2 male friends in the US. One was US-born, the other an Asian-American. They both went to the Philippines to meet their online chat mates. They came back disappointed. In the end, they actually did not need to look far for a wife. They got married to Filipino women living in the same city, whom they met at a friend's gathering. They're happy together and they understand each other.
So, try to meet first Filipino women already living in the US. If you find one whose on the same boat as you, it's more likely that it would be a mutual decision to move here.
I can't help it not to participate in this thread. It just makes me so happy whenever people of a different nationality plans on going or staying here in the Philippines. I love my country that's why it makes me happy because other people are giving it a chance to love it as well. Hi Sir Tgree, I hope you find yourself a woman to love and loves you too. I know you will. I wish you have a great experience here in the Philippines.
Regards,
Maro
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