大咖福利影院

Priscilla wrote:

How are you experiencing your parental role in your new home? Has your move abroad changed anything in your parental perspective or approach?

My husband and I have always considered children as luxuries. That is, if we can't afford or devote some quality time for them, then we shouldn't make babies.

When we first moved here, we had just 1 child. If we stayed in the US, we most likely would have just 1 child because of the high cost of living there. One year after moving here, we decided to have a second child, because of the lower cost of living, improvement in our financial situation and help from my parents in supervising our children when we're away or at work. Now we have 2 children. But that's it.

I always make it a point that my kids see me as an authority figure, ever since they were little. I think this is very important, especially in making my kids learn to respect their elders and persons outside of home, especially their teachers. I tell them that there's a reason for rules. They can't do whatever they please. Rules should be followed, or there will be consequences.

Some parents are reluctant in standing up to their kids, afraid of alienating them, preferring to be "friends" with their kids. And this can be detrimental to their learning to respect others. But I'm not scared because I want my kids to do well in life. My kids know I love them, and I know they love their mom more than anything.

gordy5938 wrote:

It failed before class even began. The two boys went on a tirade and my fiancee moved out over it. Now she is back and they live with the grandmother again, and surprise, surprise, surprise, when we visited today, the eldest was unsupervised and nowhere to be found. So, I decided to take advantage of the free pass life gave me and not be involved in the boys lives anymore. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink

That is the situation I try to avoid, which is why I made sure that my kids follow rules, that they listen to and respect their parents at a very early age. Otherwise, they could grow up to be disobedient and disrespectful, until they reach the point of no return.

Kids do not just grow up to be spoiled brats overnight. Who took care of your fiancee's sons when they were little? Growing up, did they often have things their way even if they were wrong? Was your fiancee an absentee parent (moved to the big city or abroad for work) where the children were left with no strong authority figure?

Coming home to out-of-control kids is one of the problems facing Filipinos working abroad, or OFW's, especially those who are away for more than a year. I know of one OFW who had her sister take care of her kids while she and her husband were in Saudi. She did great. All the kids were well-behaved, did well in school. The husband came home, but kicked out his sister-in-law, the kids' authority figure, accusing her of brainwashing the kids to not follow the parents.

The husband had really bad vices. Both parents, to regain their kids' love, lavished them with material things and let them have their way. In the end, the eldest son dropped out of college, got a girl pregnant, and is now a part time driver. The eldest daughter got pregnant at a young age. She is a gambler, thief and scammer. The younger daughter died a gruesome death, leaving little 2 kids orphaned, who are now being taken care of by their grand aunt at her own expense. The youngest son is a dishwasher at an eatery, but used to be a drug pusher. Scary and sad, but a true story.

I think having a real strong authority figure who can take care of the kids who can discipline the kids would help a lot in preventing problems like this.

gordy5938 wrote:

She was an ofw in kuwait. she left her kids with her mom. The problem is that the mom just left the kids on autopilot. They wander around in the streets with no focus or purpose in life and nobody knows where they go or what they are up to. I couldnt live like that so I made it clear that when we arent in school, we are home inside our little gated castle. They couldnt adapt so she shipped them back to la la land. My biggest struggle now is dealing with the mentality that its somehow wrong to want to have the best in life and focus on your own little family.

That's unfortunate. Your stepsons are probably now at the point of no return.

At least you have your daughter. She seems like she will have a bright future, compared to her brothers, with both you and your fiancee raising her. You should remind her that in the future, when she's finished with college, gets a good job and earns good money, she should not feel obligated give any of her brothers financial support, even if her mom pressures her to do so.

gordy5938 wrote:

I think you will find child development centers to be much like healthcare.....I am totally shocked with what I see here.

Yes, the openess of Dept Ed mandated social promotion relegates masses of people to subservient careers/jobs and lives. We send our niece to an English speaking private school in Davao. She scored a 90 last term in English. Can鈥檛 get through a third grade story book (English) without mistakes and stumbling. And still prefers to speak her native dialect at home rather than take advantge of living with an English speaker. Her teachers present passages with grammatical and spelling errors. It is both frustrating and scary. She鈥檚 in tenth grade. We do it because it is better than the alternatives.

For our twins, yes we will have to search. Which means visit, I guess. Even the most rudimentary of information seems not to be readily available. Websites are marketing vehicles. People do not reply to emails. You call and they want more info than they provide......usually ending with why don鈥檛 you come in. The emphasis on profit in the Philippines infringes on quality in most things. Education included.

Yes, might have to do it myself, meaning hire an English speaker, download curriculum and materials and teach to person how to achieve the deliverables. What the twins will miss is the socialization....Uuufff!