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Dating A Jordanian Man - Tips!

rebecca_lass
#1
Hello, am a Malaysian girl of Chinese descent who is currently dating a Jordanian guy of Palestinian descent for a year in Dubai. I was wondering what are the dating culture like for Jordanians? I have dated guys from diff backgrounds eg: Europeans and Asians, though I find my culture alittle bit closer to his, I can't help noticing the difference. He's very sweet, gentle, smart etc. But sometimes his behaviour can be abit hard to adjust to. We both love each other and he's been talking about marriage and stuff. However, what astonishes me is that, although he tells his friends I am his "wife" and takes me everywhere and shows me affection in public etc, but when it comes to his family knowing about me, he's abit nervous. I can't understand why. He told me his family is very open minded, and his older brother married a German lady and his parents would have no problem accepting me. But why does he hide me from his family? He told me that in Jordan, especially when he's Palestinian, when you bring a girl home, it means you're taking her home for approval from parents? And the next step would be engagement. Is that true? Am very confused and he says he needs some time to "expose the truth" to his parents. Any advice?
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shobaki
#2
Hello Rebecca!
Yes ! ur situation is very confused ..
Arabic and Malaysian is similar cultures , both of then based on Islamic , however how !
Ur boyfriend is not spicily case , he is as any normal guy in the this world , he could be happy ,sad , smile , cry , love , hate , he is a 聯Human聰! its not depends on his culture. Yes , we learn form when were children to be gentles , helpful for ppl , love others , be mercy , all the good things because believe we will be rewarded in next life, and going to heaven -insh聮 Allah 聳
About Jordanian society is conserving, and respect the morals , so I don聮t think it聮s acceptable to live couples with out marriage , It could be little bet normal if the couples were foreign , but not with Jordanian ?!! I don聮t think so !
Your BF want to right , first engage , to give u more times to understand each other , to love each other , and see each other in many situations , because we understand 聯the family聰 the first important step in safety and peacefully society ..
I think if u read this article u will have good idea, and find many answers u r looking for , find solve for ur situation

sisters.islamway.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=390
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rebecca_lass
#3
Hey Shobaki,

Thanks for replying. Though I wasn't expecting anyone to reply but you did. Thanks alot :). It's true that Arabic and Malaysian cultures are similar, provided that if I was a Malay Muslim. However, I am not muslim though. I am a Christian, my family is of Chinese descent. So I guess that's why it's harder for him to explain to his parents about that. His brothers know about me, just he says he doesn;t want his parents to know yet because he would expect them to say something in return, he's just not in the mood for possible conflicts right now because he's going through alot of problems in terms of work. I understand that.

We don't live together though. I don't believe in co-habiting before marriage :). However, I do wonder how life is like in Jordan. How do women dress like over there? How is the lifestyle like? Is it common for women to work? I am just curious because I have never been there before. Would appreciate it if you shed some light :).
shobaki
#4
just ask , and i answer :)
Dena
#5
depends on where in Jordan. The capital of Amman is very westernised..the dresscode is quite relaxed now compared to 10 years ago..although it's not reccomended to walk around in short skirts really (however I have seen someone walking around the shopping mall in hot pants..i.e. very very short shorts). Women work anywhere from shops, marketing to banks. There's alot of western influence in Amman and it looks like its heading in the same direction as Dubai and Lebnan really. Outside of Amman though is alittle more conservative and traditional. Hope this helps!
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rebecca_lass
#6
Hows Jordanian dating like? Is it true that they will only bring you home to meet the family when you have decided you wanna get married? For "official" reasons like proposal etc? My bf and I are not engaged but he does talk about getting married in the future. But till now I have not met any member of his family and no ring on finger. But he has he's commited to me but right now he has financial problems and just lost his job. He wants to start over. And I heard my friends say (arab friends) that he will not marry me as am not palestinian, so they marry within own family? But his brother married a German. So I don't know, confused really
C
#7
I would say, just give your boyfriend some time and, when the issue arises, discuss your feelings with him. He obviously would not introduce you to his brothers if he didn't have feelings for you. Let nature take its course.

Caise
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KenC
#8
May I understand how long have you been living in middle east or outside Malaysia as an expatriate??? ... I hope you are long enough to understand what are Arabic Cultures and especially Palestinian... especially reagarding marriage, having fun and toward ladies espcially asians...... If you can understand what I would try to tell you...
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vwbug
#9
Hi,
Here's my opinion on this. Your boyfriend is not going to introduce you to his family. He is not going to take you home because they would have an absolute fit at the thought of him marrying you. You must understand something, your nationality is that of maids in Jordan and they will not allow their son to marry you and he knows it. If his brother did in fact marry a German girl it would be ok, but your nationality is so not acceptable to them.聽 I'm so sorry to say that, I know it sounds bigoted but that's the hard, cold truth. He's going to hang on to you until he get to the point of finding a wife and then you'll be out on your ear. If you're having sex then you will last only until he is done with you. That's my opinion and you'll see that's the way it will be. Get out now, you'll only get hurt later. Sorry....
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naughty
#10
Dear Rebekka!
I am an Ukrainian living in Jordan. I agree with Vwbug, that your boyfriend is not really planning to introduce you to his family. Sorry to say that, but i live here 6 years, and i know many stories, which happened with my friends. Jordan is a good country to work, it is safety here, Jordanians generally are very welcome and polite people (i am living in West Amman). But the only point - do not get closer. While you are talking to the guy, you noticed that he is charming, and open-minded, and staff. But when it comes to relationship - oh, my God... Most of the husbands of my friends do not allow to work for the wife, and they REALLY listen to parents in marriage issue, and they have many other restrictions, which is difficult to accept. If you boyfriend is over 40, and he was divorsed already, maybe there is a chance that he is serious. But if he is young, i really doubt... Anyway, i wish you all the best. But use your mind more than your heart.
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FouadsBaby
#11
I'm an American and I can tell you this.

90% want you for sex.
90% want you for sex.
90% want you for sex.


THE OTHER 10%??? If ALLAH wills You will find your soulmate here:::: I found mine!! And at first impression you'd think he's a player and "az'aar"!! LOL)I am married to a wonderful wonderful jordanian whom by God's will and through destiny I caught him right at the point when he's sick and tired of the whole sex dating scene. And we love each other sooo sooo soo much. He's a taurus and extremely hard working and extremely loyal to me.

ANd no, he didn't marry me just for citizenship.like people automatically assume. We've been married for a year now and he never asked for it.
He loves me sooo much and always takes me out and he takes special care to make me happy. He goes out of his way to make happy Because he truely loves me. PROVIDE, PROFESS, PROTECT--the THREE P's of the True Signs of Love.

I forced him to take me to his family.(And I regret that because his mom constantly asks us for money and we don't have it--and she's also tried to break us up) He didn't want me to go to them at first ---not because he wanted to hide me, but because his mom is nearly mentally ill and she is a known trouble maker. But all his family are orginally from Mafraq and Jerash--and he's not Palestinian, but from Bani Hasan so that is like you can't get more Jordanian then that--(in聽 referring to the strictness of customs and聽 traditions)--and inspite of all that ---he's very modern, and he loves to take me on night walks, and he is not from a wealthy backround, yet we still manage to live in one of the most expensive parts in Amman (Gardens-) I married him because of WHO he is and vice versa--I don't beleive in Materialism- nor do I believe in marriage based on wealth--like they tend to here in Jordan.

Dont rush your destiny...it will come to you and when you LEAST expect!!!
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flatsrental
#12
copy & paste my same answer before

Very immediate judge on your boy is ( he is racism) there is no thing respectably called Palestinian in Jordan, if he claims that and approved with witness he will聽 loss his citizenship very immediate and will be getting 2 years residency as a penalty of his abandonment from the Jordanian citizenship

that is not my saying, this is government and there are a huge number of such a people who had lsot their citizenship due to their stupid words of mouth that came out to people based on stupid thoughts and ideas

In Jordan, doesn't matter who you are or where you came from, but as long as you are holding Jordan nationality you should respect that, other wise sever punishment will be taking a place
nomie
#13
Rebecca,I am also Malaysian with Jordanian fiance.Let me tell u why he got panic about his family will know about ur relationship.There is no such thing as boyfriend and girlfriend in jordanian muslim community,if his family knew about this there may ask him to leave u and force him to marry any girl that they choose bcoz they dont want their son involve in illegal relationship and having sex b4 marriage even a lot of jordanian expart man did that.So..just relax and give him time to find the way how to make it and if he is muslim for sure u hv to convert to muslim like malay malaysian.in my case i am malay so no problem.Good luck,if he is meant to be ya2ny he will be urs.cheers.
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body_sole2
#14
Hi there, well I am Jordanian guy of Palestinian descent my self and I would like to point out that in Jordan customs are very similar regardles of one origin. Although miner differences from a city to another. However, only those from Circassians origin have different customs when it comes to clothing, traditional dances and marrage. Now, from you wrote it seems your man either not thinking about marrage in general or not serious about you. and thats my openion. And I have to agree with Nomie about what she said too
davidoluv
#15
HI as a Jordan American male I can tel U Jordan men like any one else in the world, there is the good and the bad the honest and the dishonest
first of all may I ask U if your age and his are the same?
do he have tempure, jelousy?
do U think he is married or engaged in Jordan?
or maybe he is a great man that realy he needs time to tel his parents.
well I get too many questions
pls e mail me or any one else who need some advises
sunshinyyyyy@yahoo.com
GOD BLESS
deb568
#16
I know a few Palestinains married to Chinese girls from China, but firstly they met in China, and secondly they married and then told their families, i.e. fait accompli. Too late for the families to interfere. I can only go on what the girls in those relationships told me, but the first thing is, despite being Christian, the pressure to convert is , in their words, intense. I can't comment on what this is like, because I was Muslim when I met my husband.

Not sure about the perception that some poster expressed on here that there are no Palestinians in Jordan. The Palestinians I know from Jordan are Palestinian through and through, even if they hold Jordanian citizenship, and by the way, the Jordanian government doesn't encourage them to feel any different than that.

And yes, Chinese girls married either to Arabs of Jordanian origin or of Palestinian origin may endure some racism in Amman. Living in Jordan is not like living somewhere modern and relatively secular (at least on the surface) like Dubai. The people I have met over the years both in Amman and from Jordan express quite conservative attitudes towards both mixed religion marriages and mixed race marriages.
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rebecca_lass
#17
hi all,

i think this post was quite awhile ago....actually, he's serious about marriage coz he told his family about me and he wants to meet mine. But I feel he's not the right guy for me coz I have seen how he handled situations when we were together...I don't want a guy who gives up on me so easily! coz I will never do that to someone i love. I actually stick with him through his job lost and "almost into jail" situations. Then finally decided to leave after he has found a new job and settled.Even after we broke up, he still insisted to take me to amman. He told me his family has a girl for him, and she's german citizen of palestinian descent. Wants him to marry her but he doesn't like her that way. He said he cannot forget the way i supported him and he loves me more and more coz of those hard moments we went through together. And yes, he is a jealous man and he didn't like it at all, when we walk on streets and men stared at me, even waiters.....once we were having dinner at a lebanese restaurant and these two waiters were staring and they kept coming to our table to check on us and they also kept talking to me, he got jealous and asked why they keep coming to our table and why they never did it with him coz he always go there. But anyways, someone asked about his family name...it's Taher. We are not together anymore, he would call me up to talk or ask advice till once he went overboard, thats when i decided to cut him off completely, for our own good and I have since moved on.....:)
rebecca_lass
#18

vwbug wrote:

Hi,
Here's my opinion on this. Your boyfriend is not going to introduce you to his family. He is not going to take you home because they would have an absolute fit at the thought of him marrying you. You must understand something, your nationality is that of maids in Jordan and they will not allow their son to marry you and he knows it. If his brother did in fact marry a German girl it would be ok, but your nationality is so not acceptable to them.聽 I'm so sorry to say that, I know it sounds bigoted but that's the hard, cold truth. He's going to hang on to you until he get to the point of finding a wife and then you'll be out on your ear. If you're having sex then you will last only until he is done with you. That's my opinion and you'll see that's the way it will be. Get out now, you'll only get hurt later. Sorry....


My nationality has nothing to do with being a maid! am a university graduate with degrees. Anyways, I have discovered alot of people do seem to have racist views of asians here in dubai. Never heard of malaysian maid in jordan anyway. Actually, I thought he only wanted sex also at first but then, we didn't have sex! I told him he won't get any and he still wanted to see me and we did ended up hanging out many times, without any intimacy. As friends coz we have broken up. We went out for coffee and talked till 6 months ago i decided to cut him off completely

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a_alnahar
#19
To be honest with you he will not introuduce you to his family because he is afraid to make problems with them and regarding his brothers wife they cant say anything for her or him because they need the RED PASSPORT聽 for their son.
I am so sorry to tell that but its the truth.
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rebecca_lass
#20

a_alnahar wrote:

To be honest with you he will not introuduce you to his family because he is afraid to make problems with them and regarding his brothers wife they cant say anything for her or him because they need the RED PASSPORT聽 for their son.
I am so sorry to tell that but its the truth.


honestly, i don't care if he would coz we are not together anymore....he still beg me to marry him, even after one year plus apart but i keep saying no then i cut him off completely, not even keeping in touch anymore. he isn't the husband material, at least not for me. He did introduce me to his family, part of it, when he was in amman, he let his sister talked to me over cam and he told his brothers about me. But yes his family is pretty traditional, what do you mean by red passport?? my passport colour is red LOL and it is a damn good passport. I don't understand why people keep stressing on passports. Malaysian passport is infact the top 20 passports in the world. We can enter 165 countries without restrictions. But I know what you mean, they want the european or american ones. That's pretty shallow

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asifhere
#21
I m muslim and I know as christian you did right thing in not marrying as Islam criticize marriage among muslim and non-muslims. And he knew this fact but I wonder why he did not tell you. So even in Jordan, marriage would not have been prefered unless you accept Islam. But yes, palestinian do have closeness with passport and for you have to be palestinian first. They live in Jordan on a temporary passport and they often feel as if living in foreign land all the time. Passport over the year has become symbolic to them for they have been wronged by Israel unjustly. So, I see nothing wrong if they became curious about any foreigner's passport. Also nothing wrong about muslims in general if they are good muslims and if you read Quran yourself, you may be muslims yourself and may hate muslims more for not following book of Allah and giving wrong picture of Islam to the world. Instead of hurting the guy, just tell him that you can not marry him as a muslim girl is better for him as even Quran suggest this.
Mhymhy
#22
Hi! I am a Filipina women and I have a Jordanian boyfriend. I just want to know what are the things that make them upset and what they want her girlfriend to be. I am the type of a woman who always ask and a talkative one... :) I want most of the time to talk to him. But he is the kind of man who just quite and not answering my questions. Jordanian man are really like that? I want also to make sure if he is really serious in our relationship.
Kate29
#23
To Mhymhy,How long you guys know each others ? did he introduce you to his family ? i think聽 by the time you will know if he is really serious about the relationship,and if he is very quiet,maybe he have lots of things goin on in his mind,and if he willing to share it with you then you might be the lucky one win his trust,anyway...Good Luck n keep on trying :)
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Mhymhy
#24
Hi Kate... Thank you for your great advice... Actually I've known him for 2 months. And we have a little problem with regards to his family. He already informed his family about me but sad to say they don't agree and his family don't want to communicate with him because of me. So as of now we are trying to fight for our relationship but i dont know until when he will endure the rejection from his family...:( Hope we can do it... Thank you again for your advice... <3
Kate29
#25
Well...two months s too early to know wether he s serious or not ? I hope he is tho,maybe one day his family will reliase dat their son s a grown up man,who can pick his own destinyn maybe ur Bf s a one in a million guy who does not follow his custom tradition of his family,anyway good luck to u guys...n stay in Love
聽 Katie
1 member reacted to this post
xena07
#26
hi mhymhy I just want to ask what happen to you and your jordanian boyfriend? are you already married? i am curious becasue i am now dating a jordanian and i have lots of questions. please reply. thank you
xtineanne
#27
hi,may I ask for an advice from u,if its ok..im dating a jordanian guy of bedouin and palestinian descent,well we've been dating for a month now.he talks about marriage often with me.once I told him about our different religion and stuff like that then he said that its not a big deal in jordan for christian and muslim to marry.he does not talk much english but we still enjoy each others company or sometimes we are joined by his friend.he is very sweet and kind.always asking where I am,what I am doing,always checking on me..one time I told him about cutting my hair he yold me not to cut or else....I really like him.but I feel crowded by him coz in a week he will come to pick me up at my flat 5times to just spend time with me or see me.I really like him and I want to know if he is serious or not..we are both in oman now working..I jope I get some enlightenment from u..thanks.
im from the philippines by the way..name is kristine
Bratty1919
#28

xtineanne wrote:

hi,may I ask for an advice from u,if its ok..im dating a jordanian guy of bedouin and palestinian descent,well we've been dating for a month now.he talks about marriage often with me.once I told him about our different religion and stuff like that then he said that its not a big deal in jordan for christian and muslim to marry.he does not talk much english but we still enjoy each others company or sometimes we are joined by his friend.he is very sweet and kind.always asking where I am,what I am doing,always checking on me..one time I told him about cutting my hair he yold me not to cut or else....I really like him.but I feel crowded by him coz in a week he will come to pick me up at my flat 5times to just spend time with me or see me.I really like him and I want to know if he is serious or not..we are both in oman now working..I jope I get some enlightenment from u..thanks.
im from the philippines by the way..name is kristine


I would say that the crowding/bossiness/possessiveness will not get less...so you need to decide if you can put up with it.

krachid
#29
Dear friend,

First ,personal matters like this cant be resolved openly , remember everyone has his /her pride,in such a way u r blackmailing him.just imagine he does the same about u in an Arabic magazine.

Second, u r behaving like teenagers,there are many other things u r not seeing or both don't want to see.

Afterall u need more time to know each other better .be patient,bear w/ each other.

Good luck to you both
1 member reacted to this post
Bratty1919
#30

krachid wrote:

Dear friend,

First ,personal matters like this cant be resolved openly , remember everyone has his /her pride,in such a way u r blackmailing him.just imagine he does the same about u in an Arabic magazine.

Second, u r behaving like teenagers,there are many other things u r not seeing or both don't want to see.

Afterall u need more time to know each other better .be patient,bear w/ each other.

Good luck to you both


She mentioned no names...so not blackmailing :)

1 member reacted to this post
_xo0408
#31
So I've been dating a Jordanian for 9 months now.. Well, I am half Mexican, and white. And am a single mom of two young boys. I have yet to meet his mom and other family besides his one sister that he lives with. Her and I get along and like each other very much and she knows I have two boys. I guess where I'm going with this is.. Will his mom accept me and my kids ? He has mentioned that she won't be happy that he's dating a girl with kids but he won't let me leave or leave me.. And has been getting closer to my boys.. Idk what to do either to stay or move on. Because I do one day want more kids and get married. It just sucks that he never invites me to family functions. Makes me feel like I'm hidden. And he won't post any pictures with or of me on social media..
xtineanne
#32
2days ago my jordanian bf anounced his going home to jordan, coz we are both in muscat working he wanted me to go with him but I declined not because I dont want to go but because of my work,I cant get a leave聽 not until I finish one year with my sponsor/employer. I know that his family is there and im torn coz he will be away for a month and he says it will be hard for him to leave me and wants me to ho with him,but he knows I cant come.. and I told him that after 10months I will go to my home in the philippines and he says he wants to come with me to my country..and also he is now trying to learn our language and researching about my country,asking if some arabs also lives there and will it be okay for me if one day he decides to live there in the philippines..but I dont want my hopes to get high for now,not until it happens though..so what does these tell me about him?
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justanyone
#33
If you have not met his mother then he is probably married and leading you on, happened to me so if he refuses to let you meet all his family get out now before you get hurt.聽 You wont know he is lying because some men are very accomplished liars.聽 Sex is usually the main reason in these relationships because sex before marriage is not allowed in muslim country, therefore as a foreigner you are fair game.
1 member reacted to this post
justanyone
#34
If you havent met his mum then he is probably married and leading you on - hate to tell you that but it happened to me and I know it has happened to many women.聽 Jordanian men are sex starved if not married because sex before marriage is not the norm in this muslim country.聽 Even if they are married if they can have extra-marital relationships with non-muslim women than they will because they dont see the harm in it.聽 You will be thinking its love, he will be thinking great lots of sex without having to pay for it!聽 Sorry to sound cruel but I was very fooled by a man and it was a great shock to me to find out the extent of his lies.聽 I truly believed in him he seemed so sincere, but he was a big liar.聽 Please please dont let this happen to you.聽 If he wont agree to let you meet all of his family then get away from him or tell him its only a friendship, without sex, until he proves himself to you.聽 Its not worth it, especially where children are involved, you need to be sure for their sake.聽 Good luck, stay true to yourself and your children.
2 members reacted to this post
krachid
#35
yes ,to risk or not to risk ,driven by our emotions or by our reasoning ,this is the whole issue. Am sure she is a rational decision makin lady otherwise she wouldn't ask for others ' views
Mariamns
#36
Okay, I have come to a conclusion that Jordan men are special in some rare way.oh oh, I have lost count of the posts 'in love with a Jordanian man'.

Please dont tell me that am off-topic.聽 Am just overwhelmed.

Good luck to y'all.聽 Love is beautiful thing
1 member reacted to this post
A
#37
Hey so I met a really nice adorable Jordanian and Palestinian guy that is my same age as me 17 years old and I live here in America and he said that when I come to Jordan he wants to do a fake marriage arrangement and idk if that means something just tell me advice if i should keep trusting him or not
mohdq2002
#38

Ashley123 wrote:

Hey so I met a really nice adorable Jordanian and Palestinian guy that is my same age as me 17 years old and I live here in America and he said that when I come to Jordan he wants to do a fake marriage arrangement and idk if that means something just tell me advice if i should keep trusting him or not


try to talk with him more

Kip98
#39
Yes, ask him why a fake one.聽 The culture is much different, do a little research and you'll probably figure out why.
1 member reacted to this post
Primadonna
#40
When he "offers" you a fake marriage that can means two things in my humble opinion: the easiest way to America or having legal seks.
Sorry to be that harsh but its the only reason I know.

Besides that you are way to young to take such a responsibility and life changing decision,聽 why you should trust a guy you "met" online? Never met him in real life, his family, his friends, his neighbourhood etc to get more information about him who and what he is.

Like others said, ask him why he wants a fake marriage as this is absolutely not be done in the common arabic way, culture and traditions.
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