Parenting is one of the most (if not THE most) life-changing experiences one can go through. But as much as this responsibility is shared, it is often the mothers who experience this change tenfold. And if you experience motherhood whilst working abroad, this transformation can feel even more profound. And for many expat women, motherhood in a foreign country marks a professional turning point.
鈥淢otherhood definitely affected my career because now I have a new career. Before my son, I worked in hospitality in Bangkok, managing luxury hotel stays. My schedule was busy but predictable, and at first I thought I would be able to return to work a few months after giving birth. But after I became a mother, my old rhythm was simply incompatible with what I wanted to do as a parent. I tried to continue and adapt my job to my new life, but it just wasn't working. So I had to quit what I was doing and look for something new. I eventually started freelancing, I speak several languages, and I was getting small gigs in translation and customer support. But over time it turned into a full-time career, and now I am a customer support professional in e-commerce. My people skills from years in hospitality helped me transition rather easily, and now I work from home. I would never have even considered this as an option for myself before motherhood. It has really changed my priorities and opened up a very different way of life for me", shares Katarzhyna, a Polish expat in Thailand.
According to an Upwork survey cited by , nearly one-third of women freelancers said return-to-office policies were the reason they left traditional employment. The same report also highlights that new mothers seek more flexible working arrangements because of caregiving responsibilities and childcare costs.
Martha, a German expat in Thailand, also had her professional life transformed after giving birth: "I am a certified Pilates trainer living in Phuket. I co-own a small studio here. When I had my baby, I took some time off for two months, but I was eager to go back. When you run a small business, taking a long break can actually break that business. One of the best things about living in Thailand is that hiring help is actually affordable. I had a nanny who would come with me to the studio and watch the baby while I was working. I also had help with cleaning and cooking back home, so I could have some quality time with my child. I am originally from Germany, and knowing what full-time private childcare costs there, I know I wouldn't be able to afford it back home. Living here has really given me more flexibility, which I think all new mothers should have."
Access to hired help can be a deciding factor for many mothers considering returning to work. For example, hiring full-time help in Thailand can cost between $400 and $800+ per month, depending on location and experience. In Germany, however, a private full-time nanny can easily cost between 鈧�2,500 and 鈧�4,000 per month. This puts private childcare out of reach for many middle-income families in Western Europe. Foreigners on "expat packages" in Thailand or those making higher than the national average will often find a lot of services affordable.
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鈥淚t made me really appreciate where I was living鈥︹��
鈥淗aving my daughter made me realize the powerful reality behind 鈥渋t takes a village to raise a child.鈥� I come from a culture where I was raised to be very independent; everything I do, I am ready to handle it on my own. I was prepared to do all the work with my small daughter, too. But I didn't have to, though. I married into a Cantonese family, and I've heard, even before the baby, that the tradition here was for the family to come and help once the baby is born. I used to think that I wouldn't want that, as I really value my privacy. But when my daughter was born, for the first few weeks, I felt really overwhelmed. My mother-in-law helped me immensely. I was able to go back to work part-time rather quickly as she came to live with us. I could also have some peace of mind knowing that my child was home with family. I know that to many people, having your in-laws come live with you would seem invasive 鈥� but I have completely changed my approach to this. Motherhood made me appreciate where I was living and the traditions China introduced me to", says Marianne, an American expat in China.
Official maternity leave in China is at least 98 days, which is guaranteed nationwide. However, most local governments extend this further up to 198 days. With that, there is a long-standing tradition in the country known as zuo yuezi or 鈥渟itting the month鈥�. During this time (typically between 30 and 40 days), the new mother is expected to stay indoors and rest while relatives (usually the mother-in-law) help take care of the baby and manage household chores.
In recent years, South Korea has become the symbol of the global birth rate crisis. The country's birth rate remains below the replacement level needed to keep up the population. A combination of factors is usually cited as the reason behind this: high housing costs, expensive education, and long working hours. To address the crisis, the country has recently introduced a number of initiatives to lighten the burden for new parents. For example, new parents receive a monthly allowance of one million won (around US $670 per month) during the baby's first year. Families can also benefit from low-interest house loans and receive subsidized fertility treatments.
Yet, living in South Korea as an expat mum doesn't sound that hard, as Mika, a Japanese expat in South Korea, shares with us: 鈥淚 live and work in South Korea with my husband. We are employed by Korean companies, so we follow local labor laws. Maternity leave for me was 90 days, and I went back to work right after. My husband had 15 days of paternity leave to help me at the beginning. When I went back to work, my mother came to stay with us. I am very grateful she could do that. I don't think my work life has changed much, but my level of happiness at work definitely has. I am much more aware now of all the time I spend away from my family. I hurry home now like I never did before. And every time I take on a new project, I feel some guilt, because I know it is time away. Everything I do comes with guilt 鈥� but I also know it's necessary. I love living in South Korea, and I am happy we get to give our child access to the environment here. Us working hard is the price to pay for that鈥�.
鈥淭aking a break is too expensive鈥�
There are also those for whom taking a break isn't an option. 鈥淚 love being a mother, but it's not the relaxing experience I was hoping for. I am a professional athlete, and I knew that when the time would come for me to have a baby, I would stop working, at least for a while, and take some time off. But a turn of events beyond my control led me to relocate to Austria, where my baby was born. Life here is very expensive, and even though my partner has a stable job, one income is simply not enough to support a family. I personally know people who've had their children in daycare since as early as four months鈥� This is not something I felt comfortable with. But I also could not find employment in my niche, as we've relocated to a rather small town. I've looked into part-time work and found some options. I now find myself balancing a lot of things at once and always feeling financial pressure. This is not the ideal situation for a first-time mother, but it has shown me just how adaptable I am. I thought becoming a mother would make me softer, make me slow down, this is not what happened at all", shares Alina, a Ukrainian expat in Austria.
Western Europe is often associated with stability and generous family policies. In many ways, this is, indeed, the case. Maternity leave in Austria is 16 weeks (112 days): 8 weeks before childbirth and 8 weeks after. Healthcare in the country is accessible, and the parent-child pass (Eltern-Kind-Pass) guarantees free health checks for children up to 5 years old.
Even so, many families point out that the financial burden remains substantial. According to recent estimates, monthly household expenses can quickly add up, with rent accounting for the largest share of the budget.
As I was doing research for this article and discussing professional changes with expat women, a few factors came to the forefront of this discussion.
First, the current location itself played a major role in how women were able to adapt professionally. Some countries offer longer parental leave and a more structured support network 鈥� but it didn't seem to translate directly into a smoother professional transition.
What did come up a lot was the accessibility of hired help. Women living in countries where that type of help was accessible and affordable seemed to have more overall flexibility and freedom when returning to work or exploring new career paths.
Help from family and traditional support networks also play a big part in shaping the experience. Women who could have received help from family members were mostly happy to accept it, even if it wasn't inherent in their culture prior to relocation.
One thing that most women highlighted was that they all experienced a professional change on one level or another. Even without changing schedules and jobs, motherhood added an extra layer of responsibility that affected their focus and priorities in the workplace.
Natallia holds a degree聽BA (Honours) in English Language and Simultaneous Interpreting and worked as a writer聽and editor聽for various publications and media channels in China for ten years.
