Expat Blues?

21POSTS

20 years ago

As per Pat's suggestion on this thread /forum/viewtopic.php?id=301

i thought i would strart a topic regarding Expat Blues, what I mean is when you are missing home what do you to to either get yourself out of that frame of mind or just remind you of home?

Being British i like to sit down with a cup of tea (it's the law if you are from the UK) and watch some typically British TV, such as Only Fools and Horses.

What do you do?

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Julien Founder

53155POSTS

20 years ago

Without any hesitation, because it happened to me so many times while I was in London ... I buy a typic french cheese (such as roquefort) and a nice bottle of red wine! Very simple stuff but it makes me happy

manu Contributor

192POSTS

20 years ago

Julien wrote:
Without any hesitation, because it happened to me so many times while I was in London ... I buy a typic french cheese (such as roquefort) and a nice bottle of red wine! Very simple stuff but it makes me happy

I totally agree with you, we do the same thing, but instead of roquefort, we buy camember, morbier, and 3-4 more cheeses... with a bottle of local Merlot

Jo Ann ViP

1548POSTS

20 years ago

Well, it's hard to eat something Angolan, that is if you don't want to cook for hours non end. I never look for Angolan communities wherever I'm going. Firstly cause I had a bad experience back in South Africa with the Angolan community and secondly, cause what's the use of living in France if I don't live WITH the French?
I believe living in a country, you don't have to forget about where you come from, but the least we can do is trying the French style. Says the proverb "in Rome, do as Romans".
But fate made that here in Montpellier, there are many former students from my high school in South Africa and school in Angola. So it's normal to gather and the language that links us all is French, although it's very common to have 4 different languages spoken at the same time as in our group of 20, there are like 12 different nationalities!
So, sometimes, for those that have lived in Angola, we invite the others and we prepare a traditional Angolan meal and listen and dance to Angolan music.
I think Angola music is what we miss the most!

Gary ViP

1845POSTS

20 years ago

To be honest, I don't miss Holland. I don't plan to return there to live. Sometimes I miss my family ( my two kids, both in college, my 83 y/o dad, my sisters and their family). Well, then I pick up the phone and call them, or I write an email.

We have a Dutch Club here in PR - they organize parties and most of the times I go there.

Jo Ann ViP

1548POSTS

20 years ago

I was wondering...
Don't reunion among people that come from the same place we do (wherever that is!

) or/and with the same background (many of my friends have been in different French schools in the world like me) frustrate us more? Because we miss what we had in the past? Instead of helping kill the homesickness for an hour or two, actually makes it worse?
I know that when I dance or hear Angolan music, that's when we all start with the "ooooohhh, you remember those times??????" kind of thing... And that's more painful than not thinking about Angola at all...

(My family can't know this, I already had my bad mood moment today with one of my brothers because of that)...

lydia Member

21POSTS

20 years ago

I can totally understand what you mean and i think its probably a case of keeping a balance. I have been away from home for a relatively short amount of time and still need to make friends here. I enjoy talking, and i don't speak German fluently yet so finding someone i can actually talk to is hard unless they are english speaking.

A large part of it for me is the British sense of humour (which can be an aquired taste

), i miss sharing a joke about common ground.

Hopefully as time goes by I will make more german friends and need my english friends less.

blackpurl Active member

39POSTS

19 years ago

I am from southern California... I usually don't get homesick unless I am missing the beach.

Making a Mexican dinner reminds me of home but it is definitely comfort food!

Gary ViP

1845POSTS

19 years ago

Jo Ann wrote:
I was wondering...
Don't reunion among people that come from the same place we do (wherever that is! ) or/and with the same background (many of my friends have been in different French schools in the world like me) frustrate us more? Because we miss what we had in the past? Instead of helping kill the homesickness for an hour or two, actually makes it worse?

Not for me 聽 It's fun to meet with the Dutch community every now and then but I don't get homesick after a Dutch Club party. Every time I go to Holand (once per year or less) it's good to see my folks but after a dy or 5, 6 I want to go back to PR -that where home is!

Gryphon Active member

41POSTS

19 years ago

#10

I guess I already posted that I love the country I'm in and that I don't feel like going back. On the other hand, I have as a french teacher to keep in touch with all things french, especially the linguistic ones (new words appearing, new ways of saying things etc.).
But I've also been aware that the very perception of your home country changes due to the distance in space and time. I'm much more interested now in classic culture, in the essence of what it means to be French or German. Living abroad, I'm less disturbed by the soon forgotten media chit-chat...
Good thing? Bad thing? - I still have to find out...

beurredemani Member

35POSTS

19 years ago

#11

When I was in Quebec , and missing France, I bought good frecnh cheeses :-0
When I was in France, and missing Quebec, I was angry because I could not find聽 brunch place !
When I was in Santiago missing France I was going to the french boulangerie, buying some good bread, and speaking with the french owner.
When I was in Santiago, missing Quebec, I was having brunch at Cafe Melba.

Now I'm in Grenoble, France, since 3 months, and I still miss the Montreal brunchs. Moreover, I already miss speaking chilean each day. So I speak with my little chilean boy.

juleslvd Member

13POSTS

19 years ago

#12

I have the blues when I come back in my home country... And I feel so good out of it...
When I came back from my first trip I was feeling so bad.... I never felt bad abroad...

Invader_Stu Contributor

101POSTS

19 years ago

#13

For the first year or so of living in Holland I would get the expat blues a lot. Phoning home to talk to friends and family always helped and every few months I would fly back for a visit.

During the second year I got quite depressed and was really thinking of going back to England but then the strangest thing happened that got me over any negative feelings I had of living in another country... I broke my ankle.

I know it sounds strange but being able to get by in a another country with a broken bone and sort out all the medical things and stuff like that made me realize living in Holland was not as hard I had thought. I managed to get by with a broken ankle for a few months and then everything seemed easy.

I wrote a post about it a while ago:

I now really enjoy living here. Of course I don't recommend the breaking of bones to get over the expat blues.

Lily2006 Member

12POSTS

19 years ago

#14

Well, having an expat blues day, I searched on the net to find an expat website, found this one, and am trying to figure out how it all works.聽 I do like to eat cheddar and read English magazines though on days like this!

Sinbad Member

47POSTS

19 years ago

#15

Listening to some of my favourite miserable tunes usually cheers me up. I can't do it so much because the wife and kids complain but a bit of The Smiths or Manics is always guaranteed to give me a lift.

robinsonjoel Active member

32POSTS

18 years ago

#16

Jo Ann wrote:
I was wondering...
Don't reunion among people that come from the same place we do (wherever that is! ) or/and with the same background (many of my friends have been in different French schools in the world like me) frustrate us more? Because we miss what we had in the past? Instead of helping kill the homesickness for an hour or two, actually makes it worse?

Seriously, that's the nostalgia I'm facing now. I even try to avoid people from my community but currently I'm left with no choice. Hope situation changes out soon

sasha976 Member

2POSTS

18 years ago

#17

Hmmm, I am Bulgarian but have been living abroad for 5 years now.
I have never really felt homesick in the first years, but the longer the period gets that I am away from "home" the more I feel like I will move back there sometime.
Don't get me wrong, I love where I am living now, but Bulgaria is where I grew up and will be home to me.
For the last half year I agreed to manage the website of my cousin, who is a Bulgarian real estate agent and still lives in that country. He has wondeful pictures of Bulgaria on his website and everytime I look at them I get a little homesick :-(
But I guess you guys understand me! Good to hear that I am not the only one!

oreneta ViP

314POSTS

18 years ago

#18

I like to think about what I love about where I am and go andd consciously enjoy doing that...always helps.

NicoleB Serial expat

626POSTS

17 years ago

#19

I look at pictures (in my computer files), dwell a bit, sigh a bit, take the dogs for a walk & take more pics of the place I'm currently at.
Or I get drunk

Deedee Active member

39POSTS

17 years ago

#20

I get on the net and try to buzz any friends and family who happen to be online at the time - although time difference often rules that out. If unsuccessful, I turn to the ever reliable skype for drastic measures. Even hearing a disgruntled voice on the other end (I do end up disturbing them in their dreamless sleep), it tides me over until the next onslaught of home sickness.

NicoleB Serial expat

626POSTS

17 years ago

#21

Grin, sounds nice to be a relative or friend of yours, DeeDee

ColinT Member

18POSTS

17 years ago

#22

I get drunk and log onto Facebook and MySpace to see what all my friends have been doing.

I don't miss much American food because it sucks.

VickyTwead Member

20POSTS

17 years ago

#23

Well, I've lived in this tiny village in Andaluc铆a for five years now, and I stlll love it and have no regrets... The mountains are covered in wild flowers, the swallows have arrived and there is a cuckoo in the valley. Our grapevine is growing a couple of inches a day, the weather is beautiful and the villagers are just wonderful. I think I'm in paradise.
What do I miss about England? Nothing - except perhaps Broadband and Tesco doughnuts.
Vicky T

niamhg Active member

36POSTS

16 years ago

#24

Like lots of the other people on here, I use the internet n phone to get over things. Though sometimes when that weird homesick thing is going on, the last thing you want to do is talk to someone who will say ' well, if you're that sad, just come home'. Maybe not what you want to hear - so eating could be better!

Davidrubic Member

1POSTS

14 years ago

#25

I like to read blog posts of miserable expats in my country of origin, Australia, and the lovely sensitive replies along the lines of "fit in or f拢)k off back where ya came from", which is the cure wll tonic for expat woes apparently and it makes me realise the world is full of ****.. Just as many here as anywhere else, and if that doesn't work. I find old school friends on facebook who live in poor crime ridden places in australia far from the beach and realise things could always be worse.. If that doesn't work I find a random blog to vent my frustrations

kingali2308 Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

#26

Well i dont get home sickness at all. infact i am a record holder by spending 14 months in a single room even without looking at the sun light. i was used to walk in the room exercise in the room use my internet in the room have sex in the room means the whole world was that room for 14months! can u believe it 14months is easy to say but i know it changed my everything but to be honest it was a dark time and i dont want it to come back.

HaileyinHongKong ViP

4723POSTS

14 years ago

#27

I've been eating lots of cheese lately.聽 I miss living in a country that appreciates good cheese.

LeonardoP Member

3POSTS

14 years ago

#28

Hi,

I used to miss my homeland a lot. Felt very homesick and thought I wasn't gonna be able to make it abroad.
It took me more than two years to find peace living far from my relatives and friends.
I am happy I was able to do it but I also think the experience has marked me... deeply.

Thanks a lot,

Leonardo

Wawuda Active member

64POSTS

14 years ago

#29

I used to listen to Kenyan music or call home and speak to my family whenever I felt homesick.

sunnyhangzhou Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

#30

I got the satellite dish so I can tune in the news programs such as CNN and BBC. I don't think about home too much, which may be the result of being away for too long...

stumpy Laos Expert

18028POSTS

14 years ago

#31

With internet, skype etc it is so easy to contact family and friends if you are feeling down in the dumps.

I have been working in different countries around the world now for over 40 years and always make sure I chat to family and friends as much as possible.

truly_canadian Member

1POSTS

14 years ago

#32

When I was living in the UK my family back home sent little things like Tang, favorite chocolate bars, and some mags, newspapers. When I was feeling blue I would curl up with a couple of these things and have a 'Canadian moment' to myself.

LIBUKCONSULT New member

5POSTS

14 years ago

#33

It is very important to understand your reasons for being a little under and address it by saying it out loud. You can have the cakes, the sweets, the naughty meals BUT you need to cross over that hill and 'Focus'. A lot of people take jobs abroad and forget when family is not part of the negotiation that they will miss them. Just keep on communicating on phone, emails, skype every medium available until you are able to meet again. Take care and 'It shall be well'