In January I met an Egyptian guy in my city in Europe, we went on a date. We're both late 20s. Conversation flowed, we liked each other. Of course, I asked about his situation. He has a visa with full time residency rights, is in the process of opening a restaurant. Told me that he will spend most of his time in my city now, has been there for several months full-time already. It all sounded ok to me, like a relationship might be possible. Night ended with a kiss, we continued talking daily.
On the date he told me that he will go to Egypt for a couple of weeks very soon. Later he told me, that it was because his mom was very sick. Eventually he told me that it was cancer, shared her condition, told me a lot of what was going on. Unfortunately, even though they expected more time, she died within his trip.
He was really broken, they were really close.聽 Of course, he stayed there longer, to support his family. His older sister and brother have families, so his dad was left alone. He said he couldn't leave, so his return started to get postponed.
We continued talking daily, I did my best to support him. Was waiting for his return. We got pretty close emotionally, talked about everything, I really believe there is nothing really hidden between us.
Time goes by. He's still in Egypt 2,5 months later. And now he is telling me that he won't be able to spend a lot of time in my city because of his father, he can't leave him alone. And his father doesn't want to move to my city with him. Says that he has to be there a lot of the time, it's a cultural thing. Both of his siblings live in the same city as his father.
I'm in a difficult situation now. I always knew he will go there regularly, visit family, friends, that's to be expected. Maybe a few weeks every few months or something. I would have been fine with that. Now I'm told that he will spend more time in Egypt than in my country for a few YEARS.
So far, we seem compatible, there is an emotional bond, attraction. But we've met face to face only once. I want a relationship. I want my partner to be there for me, not continue waiting for months at a time. I don't want to be lonely in a relationship.
Last few days we had a continued very difficult conversation about our possible future. He certainly doesn't want to lose me, but as the main reason states that my personality is perfect for him, I'm beautiful and I have been there for him when no one else was, how much I helped him emotionally etc. Basically, I got the impression that he doesn't want to lose what I've been giving him. But I'm also human, I can't just give all the time. In a difficult time, sure. But I have my limit, I need to be cared about too.
I don't understand why he HAS to be there a lot, when his father has his siblings, friends, extended family. I think he is taking on a burden that isn't even really there, believes he has to be there, and put himself in a position of a victim of the circumstances. But maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. That's why I'm asking here, hoping to get input from locals that know the culture. Is he expected to stay?
Today we're not talking. I know that I can't keep waiting for him for years, I won't hurt myself like that. Losing him would already be very painful, but much less than if we continue and I have to leave even later. He wants to talk when he's back (now I'm told within two weeks), and find a way to work it out. I don't see a way. I don't want a partner I will barely see, and I can't move to Egypt. Too many obligations here. And even without that, I don't want to. Basically, I have told him to only contact me if he finds a solution to be with me, in my city most of the time. If not, I'm pretty firm to let it end and move on. Rather suffer now, than more later.
Sorry for the long post, I hope your input might help me see the situation more clearly.
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