Raising kids the local way in China

Cheryl Moderator

16293POSTS

last month

Hello everyone,

Raising children as an expat in China means discovering new parenting habits. School routines, discipline, food habits, independence, social life鈥� many things may work differently in China compared to your home country.
In order to help fellow expats and soon-to-be expats to adapt, we invite you to share your insights:

What has surprised you most about raising kids in China?

How would you describe the local daily routine for kids?

Have you adopted local habits, or do you mix them with your own culture?

How do your kids navigate growing up between cultures? Do they feel local, expat, or both?

Do you face any challenges, or want to share any funny moments, or cultural misunderstandings?

Share your story, your tips, or your doubts to help expat parents and soon-to-be parents in raising kids in China, the local way.

Thank you for your contribution.

Cheryl
大咖福利影院 Team

1 member reacted to this post

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IkkyInChina Member

19POSTS

2 weeks ago

Hi @Cheryl

Thanks for this great thread 鈥� really helpful for expat parents!

I鈥檝e been living in Shanghai for almost 20 years now, and my 13-year-old son (Chinese nationality, Shanghai hukou) is in 7th grade at a local public middle school. So we鈥檝e gone fully local with schooling.

What surprised me most:

How intense and structured the academic pressure is from early on.
The volume of homework, evening self-study, and constant testing in middle school is on another level compared to Western systems.
Also, the strong 鈥渃ommunity parenting鈥� 鈥� teachers, grandparents, and even neighbors all get involved. It鈥檚 supportive but can feel very hands-on.

Daily routine for local kids:

My son gets up around 6:30 am, has morning self-study/reading at school starting ~7:20-7:40, regular classes until ~4-5 pm, then often evening self-study or extra sessions until 8-9 pm some days.
Lunch at school, lots of focus on math/English/Chinese.
Weekends include homework and occasional tutoring. It鈥檚 very disciplined and academic-focused.

We鈥檝e mostly adopted local habits because of his hukou and full integration: strong emphasis on respect, hard work, and group discipline, plus the convenience of Shanghai鈥檚 safe streets and excellent public transport.

At home we mix in more Western-style open conversation, creativity, and sports to balance things.

My son feels very much local with a bit of international flavor from me. He鈥檚 fully bilingual, has mostly Chinese friends, and navigates both cultures naturally.

He鈥檚 proud of his Shanghai identity but also curious about the outside world through me.

Challenges:

The academic load can be exhausting, and helping with homework in Chinese is tough for me sometimes.
Funny moments include the endless 鈥渆at more!鈥� from relatives and random aunties commenting on his height or studies in public.
Cultural mix-ups happen around independence 鈥� local style is more protective and supervised.

Overall, it鈥檚 been rewarding. Shanghai public schools with hukou give great access and integration that many expats don鈥檛 get.

Would love to connect with other long-term parents in similar situations!