3rd month and still no friends

0POSTS

13 years ago

Hi,im stephanie and ive been here for 3 months.I love the Philippines,its a beautiful country but its not been easy making friends.
I am studying to have a 2nd degree (cos i dont like what i studied earlier)online and i dont have a job,but i have business i conduct online.To me it seems the people i meet dont wanna be friends with an african or a black person.
My kids are having a blast though cos they get along real well with their school mates.I envy them cos the kids are much,more friendly than the adults.Not much fun for me.

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Bri-yen Contributor

117POSTS

13 years ago

Cheer up! I'm sure you'll meet one or more!

1 member reacted to this post

kitori Active member

55POSTS

13 years ago

Hi there, I appreciate your honesty and being so concerned about ur appearance.Try to think positive, for me i don't care about the skin colour as long as you are a good person.
God bless.

angel2 Active member

32POSTS

13 years ago

you well have deficulty because lot of them ther shy to speak english!

FlipinayWeeBlether Member

11POSTS

13 years ago

stephyr5000 wrote:
Hi,im stephanie and ive been here for 3 months.I love the Philippines,its a beautiful country but its not been easy making friends.
I am studying to have a 2nd degree (cos i dont like what i studied earlier)online and i dont have a job,but i have business i conduct online.To me it seems the people i meet dont wanna be friends with an african or a black person.
My kids are having a blast though cos they get along real well with their school mates.I envy them cos the kids are much,more friendly than the adults.Not much fun for me.

-----

Whereabouts in the Philippines are you staying???

Redangel1 New member

7POSTS

13 years ago

Hi steph!

blueoakey Contributor

165POSTS

13 years ago

Steph
look it is hard to make Phill friends here(black or white)
I've been here 3yrs the only friends apart from family are other expats, look at it from their eyes, they believe all expats are rich, so in their culture better than them, also it is correct that they generally don't like talking too much english in case they make a mistake, very proud lot these filipinos
Pete

jcjimc43 New member

9POSTS

13 years ago

Hi Stephanie as someone who lived and worked in your country for 10 years Bendel,Kano and Lagos I can understand your dilema.Most foreigners here have other expats for friends as well as family of wife. I can appreciate how difficult it is for you but I'm sure if you join a club or similar friends will appear.Its better to have one good friend than lots of aquaintances.
Kind regards.

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

I stay in Makati

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#10

thanks every1.i appreciate it.

FlipinayWeeBlether Member

11POSTS

13 years ago

#11

stephyr5000 wrote:
I stay in Makati

So you are at the Capital City????--it's like when I went to London, I was so excited to meet fellow Filipinos, and I wanted to approach them, but they pretended like as if they didn't see me at all...

I am not really familiar with Manila, but I know it's a busy place, as a child I was always scared to travel to Manila (am from Central Luzon-Pampanga)that's why I went up North (Baguio) for my University. and I find the people there more accommodating.

But you know--we have this Filipino annoying qualities, like if you're not from the same tribe? (with the same dialect) you will feel left out too. Like when I was at Uni, we have these different groups, like Capampangans,Ilocanos, etc...and they don't mix with others, but that was many moons ago-I hope it changed now,.

I hope you'll meet good friends one day--perhaps others are just too shy to say hello first...

Good Luck...

1 member reacted to this post

FlipinayWeeBlether Member

11POSTS

13 years ago

#12

blueoakey wrote:
Steph
look it is hard to make Phill friends here(black or white)
I've been here 3yrs the only friends apart from family are other expats, look at it from their eyes, they believe all expats are rich, so in their culture better than them, also it is correct that they generally don't like talking too much english in case they make a mistake, very proud lot these filipinos
Pete

--------

I agree,but do not generalised them...

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#13

Johnny5 Contributor

135POSTS

13 years ago

#14

Hi Steph!

I was just in Makati for 9 months and only had a small group of expat friends...

I work online and hung out in Makati to be around my buddies... but now I think I might make a move..

I am back in Canada now for a few months but will be back in mid-January...

However I think I will move to Bohol as I love the beaches and the people are warmer than in Manila (just my opinion)...

If you ever want to head to Bohol for a weekend, let me know and we can check out the island...

In the meantime, you might want to join internations.org and meetup.com as there are lots of expats there

Take care and keep ur chin up

dkcape Contributor

153POSTS

13 years ago

#15

Hi Stephnie

If i was not so far away i would have invited you and your family for an outing.And asked if you could have brought some tasty Jollof(mixed) rice.
Am happy that you at least were given one invite to go to Bohol.
Do hope others near by will offer their hospitality.
Regards
DK

CharlesHarman Contributor

157POSTS

13 years ago

#16

Hi I'm Charles and I am white but my best friend here is Black. I also have a couple mixed that are coming in November and she is black maybe I can send you her info and you two can connect up.
Umm Aziza Jamila on facebook first name is Jamila and she is from Jacksonville Florida moving to Cebu City next month.

Charles

prince_denison Contributor

129POSTS

13 years ago

#17

Steph, Go out and meet people. Filipinos are warm so think positive. Even Though I am not in the Philippines I am still looking at this forum.

arknoshe Active member

39POSTS

13 years ago

#18

Well, i'm quite new to this expat. I'm Carson, I'm a Filipino raised in Dubai in a multicultural settings. I was influenced strongly by the British, American, Arabic, South African cultures. I can speak different languages. I haven't been here in the Philippines for almost 15 years. I'm trying to set my own pace here. I would love to meet different people from different cultures. It's very awkward things to say, I'm a Filipino with global perspectives. I'm viewing the world in a global way. Forgive me for that for not being too patriotic, I know it's bizarre but you can't blame me. Those cultures mentioned above are the cultures I grew up with. I love football, rugby, braai, and a lot of things. Looking forward to meet some people who do understand me! Cheers everyone!

Tokenblkguy Member

1POSTS

13 years ago

#19

Hello,your not the only African American here. However, I live in Mindanao, in Malabalay City(for now). I am studying here and business. I know your trouble with not fitting in or feeling all alone.Well, your not.It true that most expats are white or some other nationality.But, I have seen quite few Africans,Americans(missionary) and some African american visiting.I do see alot americans here.But, I think the best thing to do is to put yourself out there and your will catch a fish someday.(friends).Hope you enjoy yourself!

Wimbleton Serial expat

385POSTS

13 years ago

#20

CHANGE OR BE STUCK S*CK IT IN AND SMILE AND KEEP TALIKING AND BEING VULNERABLE!!!!!!!![/large]

Neil9011 New member

7POSTS

13 years ago

#21

Hi there,
My name is Neil and I live with my wife in Manggahan ( General Trias).We live about 10-15 mins drive from Dasmarinas City.We have our own businesses.We have 2 sari-sari shops and a delivery service as well.The products that we deliver are frozen & chilled meats ( chicken,pork etc).We also have our own water station ( mineral & purified) and a computer/internet shop as well.I am originally from England,but was made redundant in 2008,so we both decided to come back "home".
If you would like to get in touch,then please do and look forward to your reply.
Regards
Neil & Lani Slade

础耻谤茅濒颈别 ViP

22735POSTS

13 years ago

#22

@Wimbleton - Please lower caps lock when writing on the forum!

Thank you,
础耻谤茅濒颈别

Wimbleton Serial expat

385POSTS

13 years ago

#23

Yes.

Jubhie Active member

61POSTS

13 years ago

#24

Hi Stephyr5000.

I understand your dilemma, honestly locals can be like that too. But don'w worry just smile it works wonders... I hope we can be friends.

Wimbleton Serial expat

385POSTS

13 years ago

#25

Try Volenteering in some beneficially project that you may be interested in or Not .... you will meet some good people !,,,, Love Actually is the greatest communicator ... Like a Snunami ! Lol

1 member reacted to this post

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#26

Hi Steph,

I have an expat friend too looking or a Expat friend like you, I will meet him this week, you could join with us...Im just here in ORtias, 30mins. away from Makati.

chris_balikbayan Member

21POSTS

13 years ago

#27

Hi Steph,

Im new here.聽 Im filipino but grew up in the US and have many black friends.聽 I speak fluent English and my tagalog sucks lol.聽 I am planning to settle in Makati probably in April.聽 Hope to meet up and be friends.

Chris

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#28

Hi Steph,

How are you? I told my expat friends that we will meet them sometime, and I'm just waiting for your text..maybe you're really busy for meet up..hope you could find sometime

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#29

Hey cheer up! It's only 3 months. I've been here 3 years and i don't have local friends. I'm not surprised because they are not the most outgoing people and just socialize among themselves. Even not ALL expats would want to befriend us. Hang in there i'm sure there's something good waiting down the line for us.

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#30

janicelicup wrote:
Hi Steph,

How are you? I told my expat friends that we will meet them sometime, and I'm just waiting for your text..maybe you're really busy for meet up..hope you could find sometime

been busy for a while,looking forward to it.thanks

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#31

chris_balikbayan wrote:
Hi Steph,

Im new here.聽 Im filipino but grew up in the US and have many black friends.聽 I speak fluent English and my tagalog sucks lol.聽 I am planning to settle in Makati probably in April.聽 Hope to meet up and be friends.

Chris

that will be awesome chris

deltamikelima ViP

217POSTS

13 years ago

#32

Hi Steph, count me as one of your friends...

5000iujk Guest

0POSTS

13 years ago

#33

deltamikelima wrote:
Hi Steph, count me as one of your friends...

thanks,thats great

arknoshe Active member

39POSTS

13 years ago

#34

Don't worry Steph. You'll make a lot of friends soon!

Erwin Catalan Active member

66POSTS

13 years ago

#35

Hey steph, Filipinos are very friendly ( not being bias ), many factors actually made them hesitant to get involved to foreign individuals, Never consider the reason of being black and you are being isolated by this friendliness. Their language proficiency might be very limited, or your just not in the same interest. I hope you can find friends back there.. chill up and be positive. i would diffidently meet you if i'm home.

Justine

1 member reacted to this post

Erwin Catalan Active member

66POSTS

13 years ago

#36

Hi weeBlether, sorry and i disagree with you, i extremely don't believed that you will be lifted out from some community like in MAKATI, people there are aware of many culture. I think it is just a matter of the way how you approach certain individual.

FlipinayWeeBlether wrote:
stephyr5000 wrote:
I stay in Makati

So you are at the Capital City????--it's like when I went to London, I was so excited to meet fellow Filipinos, and I wanted to approach them, but they pretended like as if they didn't see me at all...

I am not really familiar with Manila, but I know it's a busy place, as a child I was always scared to travel to Manila (am from Central Luzon-Pampanga)that's why I went up North (Baguio) for my University. and I find the people there more accommodating.

But you know--we have this Filipino annoying qualities, like if you're not from the same tribe? (with the same dialect) you will feel left out too. Like when I was at Uni, we have these different groups, like Capampangans,Ilocanos, etc...and they don't mix with others, but that was many moons ago-I hope it changed now,.

I hope you'll meet good friends one day--perhaps others are just too shy to say hello first...

Good Luck...

borilove Contributor

136POSTS

13 years ago

#37

hi,i think you should try defferent appoches,you shold visit defferent people and start communications with them until you find someone of trust,then you will see a line of other people follow.Philippinos are mostly friendly,besides they also have a small dark skin population,its not about color its about opening your self to others.i Envy you because i wish i were there,im Puerto Rican and never had a problem with no one there,besides ive seen lots of dark skined people married to Philipinos,you really have to break the ice at some point,good luck and enjoy your stay,im hoping to be there next year for an extended stay.

sgrddy Member

1POSTS

13 years ago

#38

hello Stephanie , from everything i have read about the philippine culture , they can not resist a good party , speacialy a hog roast ... so buy a pig , and invite your neighbors , and your childrens friends , and you will be very surprised at how many friends you will have ... i know you can but the hogs all ready cooked , and delivered ... or if you have your own yard , you can hire someone to cook it right at your home ..... it would be great if you can enlist the help of a filipina neighbor , so she can help you with all the details , of a great lechon party ... this will help you , do a search for聽 PHILIPPINE LECHON PARTY聽聽hope you have a great time ..

alltojah Active member

47POSTS

13 years ago

#39

Hey Steph,

It can be somewhat difficult to make true friends here, especially in Makati (or Manila), being that it is a large city. In my experience, large metropolitan cities tend to have people that are less friendly. But that does not mean that you cannot make friends. I am an African-American and I have traveled throughout Asia and other nations in the world. The primary factor for me was trying to speak and learn a little of the host nation's language and put myself out there to make friends and/or acquaintances.

The primary factor in your dilemma is the language barrier, as so many people here have posted. I think it would be best as you continue your studies to also begin learning a little of the Tagalog language. If possible, learn some of the history and cultures of the Philippines. As you put yourself out there, the tension between you and other Filipinos will be lessened and they will be more open to communicate with you.

I have lived in the Philippines for about 9-yrs. My friendships have come and gone, as most Filipinos aspire to go abroad or are so busy trying to make a living. But I do meet expats and get together with them from time to time. But my main commune time is spent in the ministry of varying churches and spending time with my family.

Hope things become more enlightening for you. Ingat (take care) and God bless...

Wimbleton Serial expat

385POSTS

13 years ago

#40

That suggestion of having a hog roast I think is the best suggestion I have heard of .!!! big or small places the same barriers hold . small your different and not let in untilll you break through someone important in a small town .Big .,you feel like Small cog in a big wheel . Sh.t Happens .The world is addicted to texting , phones, computers , Tablets and a bus could practically drive over a person today and not be noticed ! u must be unconventional a bit or you will be waiting for a Lonnnnnnnnng time . Sh.t or get off the pot , as the saying goes聽 Or more truthfully ...LIFE HAS NO REMOTE , GET UPAND CHANGE IT YOURSELF !!聽 Lol that is said with with positivity for youmtomget out there and be yourself with alittle creativity and outrageousness thrown in !