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You're certainly not alone with the whole long distance relationship thing. Atm I'm in a LDR with my english boyfriend, we meet about once every third month. He too was long encouraged by his friends to flirt with other girls as they didnt see me as a real "girlfriend". Trust is a very important issue for LDR as you can't actually be with your loved one, however, my boyfriend always tells me if someone tried to hit on him or such. I think it could be easier if your girlfriend could visit you in England and you could introduce her to your mates so that they would see that she is indeed a real person. If that is not an option, I think you should simply try to explain to your friends that you are not about to cheat on your girlfriend and that you really don't need them to encourage you to do so.

I do hope you'll be able to sort this issue so that you can feel like you belong there while at the same time not risking your relationship.

Thank you Monstarcookie.

Of course your idea is great!

But we are in periods of change in our respective lives: graduation, finding new jobs, etc. So in practice it is a bit difficult for us to take more concrete steps towards each other.
To put it very simply: if I had more money, I would immediately move to her instead of staying in London and going through this mess
But I am in London now because of certain circumstances over which I had no choice.

I guess you have had a similar experience as me, although I need to emphasize that the very use of words such as "long distance relationship", "LDR", etc. really labels the experience with some sort of social stigma! There is plenty of negative vibe in the use of such words that truly make it seem something unreal, challenging and painful.
But as a matter of fact, before I encountered such ideas and labeled my love as such, I was living very comfortably with my own ideas and didn't see it as anything strange.

I know we should be responsible for our own actions, thoughts and behavior, but anyone who reads this will also know that social/peer pressure can hit where and when you least expect it, and can hit very hard.

I appreciate your reply Montartcookie, but somehow I wonder where in London I could find new friends, new folks, new peers, who would be more supportive and understanding with my situation...
(basically I'm looking for new open-minded people to hang out with)

It is true, LDR are usually not seen as "real" relationships because you don't see them every day, and you can't touch them. That's why I think most people find it hard to take such a relationship seriously, and not until they see the other person for real will they believe that the relationship is real. Sadly I couldn't tell you where you'd find people who'd accept that kind of relationship, since I myself do not live in England (yet ) You could ofcourse try to separate your friends into 2 groups: 1 that you know are ok with your LDR, who you talk about your relationship with and 1 that you exlude completely from your relationship with this girl, but just generally have fun with.

Also, check out Loving from a Distance lovingfromadistance.com/ for more advice and community support for your LDR :3

Hi,
I do not have any great ideas for you since I don't live in London but my boyfriend does. I live in Sweden and we have been a couple for almost one year now. He is also sick of people when they speak of girls/women in that way and he often hears it from the guys at work. Perhaps you should meet up? Haha.. well I jsut wanna wish you good luck and hope you find some other friends that you feel more comfortable talking about the relationship with. It is very important to have someone to talk to but I suppose a lot of people that is not in the same situation do not always understand...