Am I taking a step backwards?

5POSTS

14 years ago

Hi there,

I need some unbiased opinions from the 大咖福利影院 members!

I have moved to France because of my long term French boyfriend. I have been here for 6 months in a well paid job - but a job I HATE,聽 so I am not that happy at work. Because I don't speak French pretty much at all, I am struggling even more and am getting bad reviews from clients and team members.

My boyfriend has suggested I resign and leave my job, enroll for intensive French classes for 3 months and in the evenings work in a cafe. He said this way I will become fluent in French in no time - and then can find a job I really love in Lyon.

SO! Who thinks I am crazy to leave my well paid job and become a waitress at the age of 31? Is this a step back in my career (like my parents say?) or an investment for the future (as I will raise kids here one day). I dont think it is as I hate my job, but I am just scared of having no money!!

Please help as Im really confused!!

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VidoDido ViP

1002POSTS

14 years ago

Hi robynmelvillesmith,

Money is worthless if you are not happy or doing something you hate .

Getting to learn french will give you later the opportunity to get a well paid job that you like and suit your skills.

Its an investment for the future and worth trying as it might help you a lot to better settle in France.

Good Luck

别蝉辫茅谤补苍肠别 New member

4POSTS

14 years ago

I think its a great idea! Hey, I went to school for 8 years part time to get the job I have, and there are times I'd drop it for a serving job. It can't be that good for you getting all the negative feedback either. Must be discouraging. The language program is a wonderful idea and I think you've got yourself a guy with a good head on his shoulders!

Arkan2202 New member

5POSTS

14 years ago

Do not. Repeat do not. Give up any job in France, voluntarily !

Quite how you got one without fluent (mother tongue) French astounds me, you will never get another, unless all your qualifications are transferable, translated, recognised and authorised. French employers will always employ a French national before anyone else.

Learning French. The only serious motivation after pillow-talk is the work-place, without the pressure to deliver, you will not learn. Unless you have staggering self-discipline and are a natural linguist.

Are you going backwards ? - Yes. You've moved to France, at least half of the nation live in 1976, have you listened to the radio ? Watched the TV ? The only pop-star is a Belgian OAP who advertises sunglasses. Ask your boyfriend what music he listened to as a kid...

Should you dump your French boyfriend ? Hey, only you know the real answer to that.

My very best wishes,

Arkan (11 years in France, officially old, wizened and grumpy)

robynmelvillesmith New member

5POSTS

14 years ago

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your comments - I really appreciate it!
I was lucky enough to ask work for 6 months off and they said yes!! Whooo!

Thanks once again, you are all very kind

Patricia Foley Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

Hi there,
I think its a great idea too, a good way to master the language and that will really change your life here in a good way,
It requires an intensif serious effort for a while (been there done that !) like total immersion, but you will feel so much happier, confident and comfortable afterwards.
I started here that way, been in France 20 years, fluent now (thankfully should I say) and never looked back since !

I used to live in Lyon too, its a beautiful city,
Best of luck,
Trish.

osteonaty New member

5POSTS

14 years ago

Hi Robin !
聽 It's OK don't worry , you 'll聽 learn french easier that way , and after you 'll have much more opportunities to get a better job ,for sure ... just because you speak english too !!
聽聽 I 'm French living in Nancy just 4 hrs by car from Lyon .I love this beautiful city where I use to come time to time for my work !!
People will welcome you better if they see you make efforts to speak in french and they love english accent !!
So do sacrify your job for a while and it's a good idea to work in a bar ,because there ,you're sure to practice and learn a lot typical聽 french expression !!!
聽聽Be brave girl ,even if it's hard to be here , I know how it is because I lived abroad a long time and now i intend to imigrate in Indonesia !!!

robynmelvillesmith New member

5POSTS

14 years ago

Thanks everyone, you are all very kind!!!!!!!

Patricia Foley Guest

0POSTS

14 years ago

Sometimes, money isn't everything. If you get that job as a waitress, you'll have some money. You'll leave a job that you hate and become fluent in the laguage of the country you chose to live. It is a good move, not a bad one.
I left a very well paid job I liked in California, a place that most people want to go to, to follow my wife in eastern TN to a place that better fits us and that we fell in love with. We just didn't want to live there anymore.

N.ambarin New member

8POSTS

14 years ago

#10

Hi There hop your well and things are getting easier for you, reading your post made me think of myself ( selfish I know ) I got married and moved to France In 2008 as my Husband is French a few months later I was back in the UK as I ended up with depression. lol . I laugh but it was pity serious at the time.

My Husband has lived in the UK for 3 years now but is sick of the Country and has decided were moving back to France.

Im petrified of losing my independance, I dont speak a word of French and just didnt seem to pick it up.

I hope it gets easier for you, now that I have said yeah we will move back my mind and heart say No No No dont do it, but its a bit too late for that my mouth agreed.

I will be living close to Paris, this time it will be even harder as I will have a New Born and a Toddler, yes allots happened since 2008.