needs advice...

11POSTS

11 years ago

my bf is a Jordanian police but currently in Sudan for a u.n peace keeping mission.
our problem is he can't visit me here in the philippines because he's a police and that's the law.. how true is this?
instead Nes asking me to go to Jordan..

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Primadonna Jordan Expert

5339POSTS

11 years ago

It's a little bit different:

It's not true that because he is a police man ( or do you mean he is a militair? ) he can't travel...

But while he is at service during war or other missions, it is true that he can't.

1 member reacted to this post

miss amman Member

11POSTS

11 years ago

thank you for the advice..
hes on a mission now but after he comes back from sudan he said he is still not allowed to travel to other country, its the law and im getting confused why he cant take a vacation here..

miss amman Member

11POSTS

11 years ago

well weve been communicating for months now..
yes, i am willing to go to jordan..
i like the guy...
but i need to clarify things first, im gettin confused why cant he come and visit me here..
he said thats the law..

miss amman Member

11POSTS

11 years ago

is there such law in jordan? that if a guy working in the law force they are not allowed to travel outside country?
im a catholic and he's muslim..
if ever we are goin to get married, should i need to change my religion?
he said its okay but i doubt...
am i allowed to go there and stay for good?
what聽 are the things that we need to process?

stumpy Laos Expert

18028POSTS

11 years ago

miss amman wrote:
is there such law in jordan? that if a guy working in the law force they are not allowed to travel outside country?
im a catholic and he's muslim..
if ever we are goin to get married, should i need to change my religion?
he said its okay but i doubt...
am i allowed to go there and stay for good?
what聽 are the things that we need to process?

I cannot see any valid reason why he cannot travel to see you. He would be going as a private individual and not in any official capacity.

I am going to be blunt here and say that perhaps he does not want to visit your country, meet your family. You need to take a step back and take a long hard look at where the relationship is heading.聽

It all seems one sided to me with nothing from his side and all from you.

Just changing religion[ which is a big step] will not enhance the relationship to any degree if he does nothing towards it.

I feel that he is maybe just using you so tread carefully.

Primadonna Jordan Expert

5339POSTS

11 years ago

I don't know why he is not capable to visit you, maybe not enough money or maybe his family don't know nothing about your relationship. This is what I don't know and just guessing.

I strongly advise you to read topics which is related to your concerns. If possible visit him and his family. You'll get a lot very useful information about the life in Jordan, his family and so on.
I don't want to generalize and it is not an guarantee at all but their financial status can be related how open minded they will be. You don't want to struggle with the daily worries what or if you can buy some groceries or other stuff you want.
If you have plans to get married, the chance is very big that he will live with or very close to his family, you will not only marry him but his family too...

miss amman Member

11POSTS

11 years ago

7 months from now he will be back in Jordan.
he said if I go there, I will stay there for good...
I can only comeback to Phil for a visit..
hes not the typical Arab, the way he thinks of things.
he said, marrying me is his matter and not his family anymore..
regarding religion, he said I can convert if I want but I'm not forced.
I'm allowed to look for work if I want.
I kept on researching over the internet about this visiting issue of his..
he said why don't you ask your friends husband back in Jordan, he knows that I can't go anywherelse. weird. I've read a lot of blogs and stuff relate to my situation.
thank you for your advices! I really appreciate it..

Primadonna Jordan Expert

5339POSTS

11 years ago

#10

miss amman wrote:
he said if I go there, I will stay there for good...
I can only comeback to Phil for a visit

If he said this to you then you have to hear the alarm bells!!!!

Sorry to say but he is a typical Arabic man who things only in his way...

But the choice is up to you.

1 member reacted to this post

miss amman Member

11POSTS

11 years ago

#11

hi! i dont know if i should feel happy bout this..
i really like him, well i guess ill just have to wait what happens after 7 months..
he said hes going to do everything when he comes home .
To all the expats, thank you very much for your advice, i really appreciate it..

miss amman Member

11POSTS

11 years ago

#12

an oh by the way, what are the necessary papers and documents that i need to prepare if im goin to marry him in jordan?
how long does the processing of visa takes place?
thanks a lot

Primadonna Jordan Expert

5339POSTS

11 years ago

#13

Check out the sticky topic "Great link for newbies" on the main forum.
You'll find the information you need.

Kate29 Serial expat

706POSTS

11 years ago

#14

My Advice is...Just be very Careful about your Decision you are going to make it....Not all Expat ladies are as Lucky as Primadona and other expat ladies,life is Hard and don't make it harder

if he is willing to come to your country just for Visit,then its a good sign that he is serious with you,but if you have to come to Jordan,without you know anybody here,then you better think about it too.
as finding Job in Jordan also not easy.

Just sharing my Six pence with you

Regard

Kate

miss amman Member

11POSTS

11 years ago

#15

thank you Kate, your advice is really helpful..
I'm thinking bout it..

Bratty1919 Contributor

134POSTS

11 years ago

#16

Kate29 wrote:
My Advice is...Just be very Careful about your Decision you are going to make it....Not all Expat ladies are as Lucky as Primadona and other expat ladies,life is Hard and don't make it harder
if he is willing to come to your country just for Visit,then its a good sign that he is serious with you,but if you have to come to Jordan,without you know anybody here,then you better think about it too.
as finding Job in Jordan also not easy.

Just sharing my Six pence with you

Regard

Kate

I agree with all of this advice.

Oriental Jasmine Member

3POSTS

11 years ago

#17

Please use your head & not your heart in this matter, even though that maybe hard to do. Many women end up trapped in situations where they go to a foreign country & marry a man they barely know & get stuck, unhappy, & god forbid, abused.

I believe that if he really wants to commit to your relationship, he would first visit you outside of Jordan. It's a bit much to expect you to just stay in Jordan without you knowing what situation you are getting yourself into.

If you don't know the language, religion, or culture, then you are in for a huge shock.

Please be careful.