大咖福利影院

After more than a month of looking for a roommate, we finally got a lead from a guy who seemed interested. We met him in a shopping center on Calle 72 and he started to tell us about himself. His name is Jorge, he is a Chilean and he has come to Bogota to design vertical gardens that will be attached to the Transmilenio stops as well as many downtown buildings. His introduction was flawless. Then his story took a somewhat ominous turn. 聯On my first day in Colombia I was robbed outside of the Western Union at knifepoint and the guy got off with $1,600,000 pesos I had just received from my wife in Chile,聰 recounted Jorge as we sat on a bench in the shopping mall with him. From that point on the story became even more fishy. Apparently, according to Jorge, Western Union sells insurance on any transaction it does for an additional $10,000. 聯I didn聮t want to get the insurance, but the teller insisted. I told her twice, 聭No thanks, I don聮t need insurance.聮 She then told me that 3 people had been mugged in front of that Western Union location and she would strongly recommend that I get the insurance,聰 said Jorge. 聯I finally said, yes.聰

Up until that point he seemed like a nice enough guy, he had those cool reading glasses that detach at the nose with a band that went around his neck. He was wearing a blue, button down long sleeve T-shirt and a grey hat with the Brazilian flag. He looked like the kind of guy who hung around George Clooney on the weekends. Just based on his attire and personal hygiene, we probably would have rented him the room even if he told us that he was an almost recovering heroin addict. So, we started walking to the Transmilenio to take him to our apartment. I paid his way and gave him some tips about riding the Transmilenio (always sit or stand the closest to the driver as possible and never show anyone your cell phone).

After we gave him a tour of the apartment, he said he loved it and didn聮t complain about the price. There was one more piece of information he gave, 聯I won聮t be able to pay the rent until I get the refund from Western Union, which will take 10 working days.聰

He moved all of his stuff in within two hours. As he was moving in he told me a story which I really didn聮t pay too much attention to. 聯I was watching you in the parking lot take out the trash,聰 he said as he wheeled his suitcase down the hallway. 聯That聮s strange, I took out the trash more than 30 minutes ago, why would someone sit in the parking lot for a half hour while we were inside waiting for him?聰 I thought to myself.

From that point on, he was the ideal roommate. He was gone early in the morning and would spend all day out of the house. He never cooked any food, therefore there were never any of his dishes lying around. On the weekends he was never around. I started to wonder, 聯This guy is too perfect, there must be something going on.聰

After two weeks went by and Jorge still hadn聮t paid us, my girlfriend Kary and I started to get suspicious. There was always some last minute unexpected delay which was going to postpone the money being refunded until the following Monday. A full 20 days had come and gone and still we were left holding the bag. Then one Saturday morning Jorge knocked on our door. 聯Sorry, I have to go to Melgar to start a new job. I am leaving now and need your signature so the doorman will let me take my luggage out of the building. I realize that I have committed to living here for 4 months, so I will deposit three-months聮 rent into your account on Monday,聰 Jorge said to us while peering through the doorway into our room.

Kary was pretty much in shock at that point, so I got up and took a walk with Jorge to the front desk. When I asked the doorman what was going on he said to me, 聯If your roommate is going to leave, he needs to talk with the building supervisor, her office is above the parking lot.聰 Luckily, the doorman stopped him from leaving.

I told Jorge to wait in the apartment for me, I then went to see the building supervisor. 聯In order for your roommate to leave, the person in charge of the apartment needs to submit a letter of all the things that will be taken out of the apartment. The tenant must also leave a deposit of $140,000 for administration fees, that will be refunded in 10 days.聰 A chill went up my spine after hearing the words, 聭10 days.聮

This was the first time in my life I was glad that administration fees were being charged. I went back to the apartment and told Jorge that he would need to come up with $140,000 pesos before he could walk.

聯I have only $4,000, just enough money to get a bus to the bus station,聰 he responded as he opened his wallet. In fact there were just two bills in his wallet. Both for $2,000.

聯Well, you need to call your friends in Melgar, because the administration isn聮t going to let you leave until you pay the deposit,聰 I said to him. He then walked purposefully back into his room and came back with $100,000.

聯Here, take this, I don聮t have time to deal with this problem. I have to go to the bus station,聰 he said, avoiding eye contact.

I could feel my adrenaline kick in at this point. 聯Listen Jorge, a second ago, you only had $4,000 pesos. Where did this extra $100,000 pesos come from?聰 I asked.

聯It is my friend聮s money. I was supposed to use it for my ticket to Melgar,聰 he said.

聯This isn聮t a negotiation, the building supervisor is not going to lower the price because you are in a hurry,聰 I said as I put my hands up, with my palms facing Jorge.

Jorge then turned into William H. Macy聮s character (the dirty car dealer) in the movie Fargo as he grabbed his coat and stormed off to go get the money.  Unfortunately on his way out, he didn聮t deliver any memorable H. Macy lines like, 聯I聮m聟 I聮m not arguing here! I聮m cooperating. So there聮s no need to聟 we聮re doin聮 all we can here.聰

20 minutes later, the doorbell rang. Jorge was back and had the money. Now, I was even more suspicious of the guy.

聯How come when we asked you, you had no money for the rent, but now all of a sudden you can come up with the money now that you are in a hurry to leave?聰 I asked.

聯It聮s because I don聮t like to ask my friends for money聟on Monday you聮ll have the money in your bank account for three months聮 rent聟聰 he then dove back into his Moby Dick-sized tall tale which was turning into a sinking ship.

聯Jorge, we don聮t believe you,聰 stated Kary. 聯None of what you have said to us makes any sense. You must pay your debt to us before you leave.聰

聯On Monday this聟on Monday that,聰 said Jorge.  His story hadn聮t changed but the pace of his delivery had picked up a notch or two. It was now the two of us in his room with his suitcase which had a lock around the zipper. Kary watched over Jorge聮s should towards me.

聯Jorge, you need to leave us some sort of guarantee that you will come back and pay the $330,000 you owe us,聰 I said.

聯What do you want, all I have is some pictures my children drew for me,聰 he said, clearly emotional as he tore open his suitcase and put a pile a children聮s drawings of dinosaurs in my arms, as well as a few pictures of school-aged children in turtle necks. The next thing I knew, there was a 50-year old Chilean man crying in my apartment.

聯Listen, these drawings probably are valuable to you, but to me they aren聮t worth $330,000,聰 I said as I handed him back the drawings.

聯I can聮t give you my laptop, I need that for work.聰

聯Where聮s your passport?聰

聯I need that for my job as well.聰

聯How about your clothes?聰

聯Listen, I am in a hurry, here I need to get to go to聟聰

聯Let me make this as clear as I can. I need something that is worth the rent money.聰

Jorge then dug into the bottom of his suitcase and produced a external hard drive. He put it into my hands. 聯My entire life is on this hard-drive. Everything I have done in my life is there. Please take care of it.聰

I looked it over. It seemed to be the right weight. Kary gave me a look like she wanted this whole thing over, so I let him go. Since then there has been no sign from Jorge, nor his money.