Loneliness when you're abroad page 4 - forum

Loneliness when you're abroad

12POSTS

16 years ago

Hi, I am a Singaporean.聽 We speak good English.聽 Its quite intimidating to read of all the loneliness here.聽 As I'm pending for Canadian PR status, can I make some Canadian friends here first?聽 I'm moving in a couple of years time and would need to buy property there etc.聽

I believe we can all conquer our emotions if we put in much effort.聽 Just need to try.聽 Lastly, how are Canadians?聽 And I love Adam Lambert.聽聽Please write

聽 lynnkueh88@gmail.com

canadianfamilhy Member

2POSTS

16 years ago

#122

Hi There!
What I first decided to do here in England to combat feelings of loneliness is to join a Gym!聽 I actually have met a few friendly mums working out in the mornings that I have gone.聽 Then we may make a plan for聽 coffee one day or to go shopping....

Pilarspain Member

20POSTS

16 years ago

#123

En Tres A帽os Est贸s Que le Estado En El Extranjero Siempre que acompa帽adas Estado / os amigos en contra.
No, 茅l Sentido la soledad de mi pais ... pero, Cuando realmente te Sientes en solitario, alejado de tu tierra ... Sientes Que Te falta el Calor es de tu pais de Cuando Por estas Las Noches en el Hotel.

Te Faltan Tus gentes, y El Calor de La Compa帽铆a de Tus compatriotas ... y dar PUEDE Bajon te des de a帽oranza.

Es Muy duro ESA Experiencia ... pero es gratificante, conoces Porque una ESTAS gentes y Siempre de las 24 Horas del dia Haciendo Cosas, yo al Menos, Por Mi Experiencia.

PD:
Sorry,sorry,sorry...
You`re right隆隆. I麓m not expert inglish,I麓m learning.
I think tradution simultany.
Excuse...

FeeAcer ViP

6172POSTS

16 years ago

#124

Excuse-me PilarSpain,

We don't understand Spanish (me at least!) this is the English forum! Can you write in English? or just post in the Spanish forum (by clicking on the Spanish flag on top of the page).

Thank you
Arlette

BeSerKa New member

4POSTS

16 years ago

#125

An interesting topic to read, I leave to work in the states in 2 weeks as a iPhone Software Developer in Austin TX, staying at my cousins house.
Yet despite having Uncle, Auntie two cousins, and a friend 2 hours drive away.
I'm suddenly still very scared of the move. I'm suddenly in fear of being without connections and circles of friends. A Fear I didn't even know I could have.

I'm not a super social guy, so its going to be a major uphill battle for me I think. I'm going to join their university sports tournments, local tennis team, dodgeball team, and get involved with literally as much extra out of work activity as humanly possible.

If that doesn't squash my lonliness fear I think I'll cut my trip short and head back to New Zealand.

I suddenly have a major respect for the guys from India and China who came and worked at my last position in NZ, who knew literally no one. And where their culture was soo different to ours. Especially for the Chinese guys!

jecy New member

2POSTS

16 years ago

#126

Well.It's happend offten for me,then i usually go to the park,musium,or do some outdoor sport like jogging,bicycle outside the city or one movie,it works a lot,of course,i forget the most important the INTERNET,but the negative is makes people feel more loney,so i am trying to limit the time of connection.

But all about that doesnt work in Kenya!!!聽

Pilarspain Member

20POSTS

16 years ago

#127

Lo que queria decir anteriormente era;
He estado viajando estos tres a帽os por Egipto, Tunez,Turkia y nunca he sentido la soledad.
Siempre he estado rodeada de amigos.
Solamente cuando he sentido la sensacion deestar lehos de mi tierra, de mis gentes...del calor de mi patria, ha sido en la soledad e la noche en el hotel.
Es cuando realmente te sientes sola.
Pero no importa, eso te hace reflesionar en cosas(al menos a mi) pero como durante es dia estoy siempre acompa帽ada, no importa estes donde estes.
Para mi es gratificante compartir culturas distinas a las mias.

PD:
Siento lo de antes al escribir. Pensaba que se traducia simultaneamente.

europa9490 New member

4POSTS

16 years ago

#128

I think the worst thing we can do is stay in and feel lonely! There are groups that you can find through meetup.com, facebook.com, and couch surfing.

Even if there are no groups meeting, it is sometimes nice just to walk around in your new country with a camera or a journal (or both). When you're feeling lonely, it can be even harder to go out and face the (foreign) world, but sometimes you'll be surprised what treasures you find!

Hang in there, there are several thousands of us going through the exact same thing!

extranjera Member

16POSTS

16 years ago

#129

I really felt lonely few days ago as i arrived Cambodia. i have been walking but scared what might happen so i decided to stay in my flat... i read books, played games, clean my house, sleep, internet....

its difficult to be in this situation, missing family and friends... i know nobody...

But.... later i will go around not to feel lonely, help ourselves by going on.... discover the beautiful place....

fm Member

2POSTS

16 years ago

#130

Hello everyone

it feels better to know that it does nt matter the country you are in, we all still have the same feelings. Strangely enough, I thought the US was the only place where it was hard to make friends!

but I see that it happens to everyone, everywhere. I have to say I feel really good in Mexico, and with latin people in general. Very easy to talk to and to feel comfortable with. I guess there is not enough warmth and NY is a crazy city. Everything goes so fast and people don t have time to stop. Everyone in NY has a mission! at least all the foreigners, all came with something specific in mind. This city is a wonderland but no real connections. 7 years here and not any real friends ( the ones you can call anytime) ..besides another french guy that has been here for 4 years. I love and I hate NY for that. I guess that s passion right there and some people need that. I am one of them !

Inberg Guest

0POSTS

16 years ago

#131

i can't say that i feel myself lonely..but sometimes i just missed friends, family, nature, places..
actually in this moment i give myself a time for a nostalgia

and the same time i regret that can't play guitar..because for me sound of the guitar the best for treat myself:)
I should learn how to play guitar!!!

tercle2 Member

3POSTS

16 years ago

#132

Hello,
I do agree. America is just a special country in the world where you can believe on anyone and cannot count to anyone either.
Friends are somewhere else, not here.
I used to live in Holland, France and Germany. People there are more friendly and live better than here.
US is just all about working and be alone.
Trust you
tercle

suave Active member

97POSTS

16 years ago

#133

I am living in Addis Ababa, EThiopia. Loneliness comes with all its forces especially during the weekends. I either go to the movies, drive out of town, or just go on working so hard till I forget that I am lonely.

onur_83 Member

13POSTS

16 years ago

#134

Julien wrote:
Do you often feel lonely when you're abroad?

I personaly suffered on week ends while I was in the UK. Even if I had several friends, I often missed my family and friends (from home). So I walked, visited museum, went to concerts, worked more... What about you?

What are you doing when you feel lonely?

i had same feeling when i was in The U.K. i was age og 20's but even if i was young and had some friends felt alone , missed family . i think it is just personal thing . some people dont feel alone or miss someone .

Eudoxie New member

6POSTS

16 years ago

#135

Hi:

Loneliness, is truly not good. Being away in a foreign country, away from friends and family is difficult. I remember when I was away from home, I went to Church to heal my loneliness. However, there were other time,when I went out and get a drink with friends or was on the internet, or chatting, but I think the best decision that I ever made when I felt lonely is to go to Church. Truly, the saying is true that says that there is nothing like being at home and home is where the heart is. I totally agree with it.

TassieDevil Member

1POSTS

15 years ago

#136

Hi,

I moved to the Netherlands from Australia about a month ago.聽 I am studying by correspondence through my uni back in Australia (which means I'm at home a lot) and I am not able to find work yet until my working visa is sorted.聽 Currently, my boyfriend is the only friend I have here and I'm finding it extremely hard to adjust.聽 Dutch people are wonderful, but they are a lot harder to get to know than Australians (in my experience).聽 Australians will ask you where you're from and ask you out for a beer.聽 Over here, no one seems interested.聽 I wouldn't say people are cold, but they're not overly welcoming.

It makes for very lonely days and I find that I start taking everything personally.

Are there any dutch people who know of a good language course or a good way to meet people over here?

FeeAcer ViP

6172POSTS

15 years ago

#137

Hi TassieDevil,

Welcome on expatblog ! I'd invite you to post a message in the Netherlands forum here; this would surely help you to get more appropriate responses.

Hope this helps.
Arlette

smart_saru Active member

34POSTS

15 years ago

#138

strange but fact to admin, sometimes i get soo lonely in my own city cause i keep myself busy with work and get workaholic and get no time to socialize.

guidelines New member

9POSTS

15 years ago

#139

Well, definately, you can fee alone even if you re in your own home country... and you wish to make as much as new friends and hang out, like the ole days but then it seems so far away... I had fun much more when I was living abroad 10 years ago, the friendship were solid and we visited each place like 5 ot 10 people having a small party, we re staying over one friend's place and it was really fun, not the 'kinky' fun I mean.聽 That was the best in my life ever.
Now, I feel like I am the most lonely person in the whole planet in my own country, try this done that, join a fancy gym member, hang out to a crowd resto, even internet, just end up meet the wrong person out of time...
And still... feels like loneliness in my own city...

Guest327490 Guest

0POSTS

15 years ago

#140

I feel very lonely here in Belarus...and people here doesnt seen to like foreingners...i spend all my day at home,to me is even harder because i dont speak the language.

tiare799 Member

3POSTS

15 years ago

#141

Well, sometimes can be hard to make friends (that last) when abroad. Been here in Edinburgh for around 8 months and haven't met many latinos here - just a few in college. As for Scots, just acquaintances "hiya" n "cheerio". Anyway, let's see how things develop. Keep on keeping on

alvitos Member

3POSTS

15 years ago

#142

Well, I registered in the local gym.聽
I don't understand the coach instructions but the gestual language is universal.
Language classes are also a good method to know people and make friends. Group activities helps you to feel part of a group.

Sofia

elka Member

2POSTS

15 years ago

#143

I have kids, I never feel lonely...
Sometimes I wish I was.

Elka

gatitamundial Member

1POSTS

15 years ago

#144

Loneliness yes...comes and goes constantly. Find the best approach is to let come...and pass through.

smartfor New member

3POSTS

15 years ago

#145

Good evening! Sorry pls for my english. I'm looking for foreign friends, I can show our nature (mountains, plains, rivers) by my jeep and to practice my English with you. Reply me to e-mail.
Best regards.
Stanislav

rehandoing Member

15POSTS

15 years ago

#146

of course i also feel lonely during week ends..... but sharing ideas with new friends and chatting with online friends will sort some loneliness but chatting with mom dad and wife with kids will be good to release all loneliness...............

sometimes long drive and roam around in this country will also give some relax.........

love you all

franzewich New member

5POSTS

15 years ago

#147

Dear Lonely Hearts,

yes, I think feeling lonely (and even depressed) is nothing unusual for us expats. Three weeks after I came here to Warsaw my girlfriend in Moscow decided to quit our relationship - she was too concerned about our future. So I was really deep in the blues - lots of friends in Moscow and Germany, but none in Warsaw, yet. Of course, the internet, the forums, the Facebook help somewhat, but it is not the same as sitting face to face with a friend. But still...
I try to be active, distract myself. Go to museum, pubs, parks. Try to do some sports, jogging etc.
The most important thing is to meet people, make friends. Maybe even find yourself a nice girlfriends. Don't give up your hopes and your dreams - it will get better!

Why don't we make a "Lonely Hearts" evening next week some nice place? Any suggestions?

Guest327490 Guest

0POSTS

15 years ago

#148

Sleeping and washing my clothes,my car any house work for the next week

Carlos C Active member

56POSTS

15 years ago

#149

"...loneliness in the crowd..." that's what comes up to my mind regarding this topic.
Humans nature is made to socialize, to build relation ties and I don't belive in happiness without it.

CarlMyles New member

6POSTS

15 years ago

#150

My partner & i lived in Shanghai for more than a year,and it was my most loved and unforgettable time...the city is so nice and loads of places to go around,the people we knew were the most socializing ones,i never really had a lonely time there....but,because of his job,we needed to move to a different country (KL,Malaysia) i felt sad but excited.. at first, everything was ok,we got to go around new places,meet people,but after a month he was back to being so busy and we only have time in the weekends...in 1 yr of living there i never met someone to be friend with, go out with,i dont know why,maybe i was scared or shy to go out on my own (well,i did try....a couple of times..but they were not good times for me..i felt very lonely and missed my friends and family so much...it was really hard coz i am used to being with my friends,living with my parents and all my siblings,i never really had time on my own back home....Anyway,after a yr in KL,we moved here in BKK,it's been a yr now and i havent聽 met someone to be friend with...i am still in contact with my old friends in SH but its different now,its different when u get to see them and spend time together...now i am just hoping to find good people to be my friend (well,by spending some time on my pc and going out,& trying to learn the language to be able to communicate with the locals)..hopefully,i'll learn it fast,as they all talk to me in thai as i've been mistaken for being one of them all of the times.

AlexAngstrom New member

5POSTS

15 years ago

#151

Is there anybody in Saville willing to chat about what its like living there and how to get in touch with any English speaking community there.

NazirChowdhury Member

2POSTS

15 years ago

#152

Loneliness is a part of human life.when I feel lonely , I sit in front of my computer to use Face book. By using face book , I share my feelings with my friends.and read their comment on the wall of face book where they added it.By this why , I overcome my loneliness.

memekarimova Member

14POSTS

15 years ago

#153

Sly wrote:
It's incredible how all this depends on our state of mind. I came to live in Israel for a post-doctoral fellowship and my girlfriend came with me for a job in NGO... Rather fast she left her NGO for a research position in Amman. It is only 70 km away (with a hard border to cross) and we were able to see each other twice a month. The situation lasted several months and with the distance she met somebody else...聽 During all the time of our life across the border, I have never felt loneliness... I was occupied by a work which fascinated me and even if I had never a real affinity with the country, my life gone very well. My mind and my heart were with her and skype kept the link between us. Since the last 3 months, after we broke up, I am eaten away by the solitude, the deep reason of my expatriation was to live this experience with this girl and without her nothing has sense. I have already been alone in my life, and for a long time, but nothing comparable. This solitude is in fact more a sensation of lack, because even surrounded I can feel it.
I know that in my own country, with family and friends this stage could be easier...

So sorry to hear that u broke up. but please dont worry be happy as happiness comes within your self not from out side. either with her or not, u must keep happy and dont feel alone.

be happy

Carlos C Active member

56POSTS

15 years ago

#154

I read ones a book from an unknow spanish autor named Antonio Sanchez with some poetry about solitude and loneliness. The title was "Crowd Desert" and it has to do with the loneliness we can feel even if surrounded by other people...
If it's posible to feel loneliness in or day to day, in our home, in our work, in our city... imagine how it can be in another country without knowing the crowd which surrounds you, without understanding what you hear, without the opportunity to open yourself to a friendly sholder...

The price to pay for many expats!

sawada Active member

76POSTS

15 years ago

#155

im very sad

Frenchie2010 Member

12POSTS

15 years ago

#156

Try to stay as busy as you can, meet tons of people, do sports. I find that by doing that, when I leave my house in America to visit my family in France, I am homesick!!

NiamhR New member

4POSTS

15 years ago

#157

The Internet has made being an ex-pat much easier, but I often wish I could just beam myself over to Europe for a weekend to meet up with friends. Here it is just not the same - I miss the level of conversation with my friends in Europe. The conversation doesn't necessarily revolve around us.

one_angel Member

14POSTS

15 years ago

#158

To feel lonely is just like to feeling sick. There are many ways of preventing this, depending on the individual. I for instance, I watch Tv, or or watch movies, lots of them. I live alone here and I think that is the major reason why I experience this. Sometimes I wish I had a company, But this is often not easy