Marriage

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

I got married to a nurse in Cartagena in February. She had quit working in December 2017. She has ongoing litigation with her ex husband on their house, credit card debt and vehicle debt. I rented her a nice apartment and have been fully supporting her. I have asked 5 times now for her to help out, I get the passive resistance and not any movement in that area. She has no kids and is also involved with a labor dispute with the medical company that she worked for for 25 years. She applied for a tourist visa before we met to the US and was denied. She does bring up on every now an then a visa to the US. Last time I checked I have to sign this nice contract with Homeland Security for 10 years. I would be ok if she just helped out a little bit but in almost 1 year that has not happened. I don't know if this is just a cultural thing or something that I am missing. I would appreciate some advice.

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dumluk Serial expat

430POSTS

7 years ago

Well you already married her, so in her mind, shes got you right where she wants you, haha........Now the biggest mistake you can ever make is jumping thru all the hoops to bring her back to the States......My advice would be to keep it simple, and keep it in Colombia, and see if its really you she wants and not just entry into Estados Unidos, the former land of milk and honey.........

LyleBright Member

24POSTS

7 years ago

Various things: the coste帽a personality. What her understanding of a wife鈥檚 duties is. And how 鈥榚asy鈥� and maleable you are.

Also: you have to clearly and thoroughly explain what it is you need want and require. You cannot assume that 鈥榟ints鈥� can be or will be read by her.

Explain exactly what is nneded. Bring in another person to politely explain if needed.

If you do not get results, pull the plug IMMEDIATELY. Don鈥檛 set yourself up as an easy mark.

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

I have asked her directly 5 times to help out with her expenses there. No luck there, just passive resistance. I have helped her get all of her medical issues fixed. I guess my idea is that I am not willing to put my whole retirement portfolio on the line when my partner is not helping out even just a little bit. All I was looking for was just a little effort. I make plenty money but I am quite leery of that 10 year Affidavit of Support with Homeland Security.

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

You need an attorney now .. repeat: now .. to learn how to protect your income and your assets.聽 Do not clue in your litigious-minded wife at this point.

Among other things, 50 percent of your "plenty money" income dating back to Day 1 of the marriage could be at stake.

You are obviously not comfortable about signing the 10-year support pledge.聽 Don't do it unless and until it feels right.聽 Don't even think about it before getting legal advice about it.

Get personal counseling in your native language.聽 Do it via Skype if necessary.

"I rented her a nice apartment".... Are you living with your wife in Colombia?聽 Your profile puts you in Idaho.

cccmedia

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

My wife is in Colombia. I live in Idaho.

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

Is there anything stopping you from immediately cutting back your overseas financial support by half .. and potentially bringing this 蝉颈迟耻补肠颈贸苍聽 to a head?

Don't actually do it until you get legal advice, by the way.

cccmedia

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

Review your marriage contract.聽 Get it translated if necessary.聽

Find out what your obligations are.

If you signed a rental contract for her place in Colombia, figure out how to responsibly cancel the contract with proper notice to the landlord as of the end of the current term.聽 This will aid you in determining how to proceed as events unfold.

If a rental contract exists and you don't have a copy, find a way to get a copy.

Get attorney advice in both countries if necessary.

cccmedia

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

There are no obligations in the contract, I already have an attorney here. I was just giving her 1 more chance to step up to the plate. I am thinking that there are some things that she did not tell me about. All that I have to do is have the paperwork signed and notarized and recorded. I already have the international process server set up. Just sad, I can not figure out the logic.

Floridaray Contributor

115POSTS

7 years ago

#10

You just painted a pic ive seen many times here. Good god ive never seen so many men todos gringos who dont know their ass from their elbow when it comes to women...especially colombiana women. Ive got a good idea ur wife, and her boyfriend are living quite well off all the money you send. Please listen to cccs advice. And stop all payments and see what happens.

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

#11

loaferln wrote:
All that I have to do is have the paperwork signed and notarized and recorded. I already have the international process server set up. Just sad, I can not figure out the logic.

You seem confused, and I am too.

What paperwork needs to be notarized and recorded and served?聽 Spanish-language divorce papers?

For what, specifically, is the 'logic' unclear?

cccmedia

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

#12

That is for her in the US, you need a international process server to have it served in Colombia before you can go to court here.

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

#13

here

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

#14

Yes it has to be translated to Spanish and done correctly.

Floridaray Contributor

115POSTS

7 years ago

#15

Loaferin hey bro sorry if i聽 sound insulting. But chances are youre being taken for a ride. Loves blind and ive been there. Just ask my ex in florida living in the house i bought, etc, etc.

LyleBright Member

24POSTS

7 years ago

#16

Right. Because a) there is a very different 鈥榣ogic鈥� in operation, or b) none at all. You are desling with a person from a very different cultural situation.

If you wish to you can salvage the situation. It really depends on the sort of bond that exists.

Was it a 鈥榤arriage of convenience 鈥� or really a bond that was ceremonialized by a marriage? If it is, in essence, a relationship of interest 鈥� I do not invalidate such btw 鈥� it is a question of defining, and insisting on, what you determine is necessary on her part.

It may, and it may not, be important to her to create a situation with you that *works*.

Why the marriage? A marriage is supposed to be an *eternal bond*.

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

#17

Since the marriage occurred in Cartagena, it may have to be officially terminated in Colombia (as well as in the USA) .. or else your assets and recent/ongoing income may still be legally exposed, regardless of location.

Have you confirmed with a Colombia attorney that international service of divorce papers is sufficient to enable you to terminate the marriage irrevocably for both countries?

Has your USA attorney encouraged, discouraged or not commented on the possible retaining of a Colombia attorney?

cccmedia

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

#18

No, it can be done from Idaho, I am a resident here. I have been in contact with a Colombian lawyer. The marriage did not have a certified translator and I was trying to get it annulled. Well trying to deal with a Colombian lawyer and get a firm answer and a price is a tough one. I think you will become an ATM.

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

#19

The prior lack of a certified translator may or may not be enough to annul the marriage.

聽 ----

I'd put Langon Law on the case.聽 Their brilliant principal is a 2004 graduate of Harvard Law School and is fluent in both languages.

They successfully processed my 2017-18 Colombia visa .. and prepared my USA will.

The site is ...

Their main office is in Medell铆n.聽 That shouldn't hinder them in any way from assisting you, regardless of where your wife is living in Colombia.聽 You can talk with them by Skype or by telephone .. in English.

cccmedia

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

#20

loaferln wrote:
trying to deal with a Colombian lawyer and get a firm answer and a price is a tough one. I think you will become an ATM.

I think you're smart to attempt the annulment route.聽 If it's viable, it could be simpler and less expensive.

-----

You can expect high-quality and prompt legal advice from the firm I mentioned.聽 Don't settle for an ESL attorney or firm from which it's difficult to get straight answers and clear prices.

cccmedia

loaferln Colombia Advisor

76POSTS

7 years ago

#21

I really appreciate all of your help. Actually I have already paid for the lawyer here, $1800.00 and it is a sure bet and only takes 6 weeks once they get the service back. Sad, I was looking to find a good partner to help on my farm. The problem now is that the 10 year obligation with Homeland Security is such risk and your partner knows that they have the upper hand plus you also have the community property laws. A good way to go broke.

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

#22

loaferln wrote:
I have already paid for the lawyer here, $1800.00 and it is a sure bet and only takes 6 weeks once they get the service back....

your partner (wife) knows that they have the upper hand....

If it's a "sure bet," you, not she, may have the 'upper hand'.

聽 ----

I'd still get a second opinion from Langon.聽 You will be protecting much more value, in your assets and income, compared to the cost of a phone or Skype consultation with a man with a sharp legal mind who is licensed to practice law in both countries.

cccmedia

Quechimba Banned

338POSTS

7 years ago

#23

What do you expect you go to a third World country and聽 marry a woman.and expect she is going to support you or something?

Whatever hoy do DONT bring her to the States and DONT offer to.pay off her debts.

You should have checked these thing hoy before you marrried her.

If its too much stress.and you arent getting anything out of ir.. .just.walk away.

Lots of other women.in Colombia

I have no idea why Gringos have to.marry the first woman they meet here..Colombianos arent that dumb.

Quechimba Banned

338POSTS

7 years ago

#24

If you have your assets in the US and the marriage聽 is not registres in the US聽 you have nothing to worry about.Dont believe any paranoid crap that tells you otherwise.聽

If you have property in Colombia it is another story.

Quechimba Banned

338POSTS

7 years ago

#25

Florida Ray is right "una relaci贸n de lejos es una relaci贸n de pendejos"

"Una relaci贸n de lejos es feliz para cuatro
In her case it could be her and her 3 mozos.ja ja

Quechimba Banned

338POSTS

7 years ago

#26

I sent you a PM.

In really it makes no sense to do the Divorce or anullment from the US for $1800.

I dont know who "advised you" on that one.. You really cant trut these lawyers as far as you can throw them.

You can do it in Colombia for 1.million pesos or 2 million absolute聽 m谩x.

The trick is finding a lawyer in Cartagena or willing to work there that you can trust.

Quechimba Banned

338POSTS

7 years ago

#27

I know all this from direct experience and not "conjecture".

cccmedia Ecuador/Colombia Expert

10285POSTS

7 years ago

#28

I tend to agree with Quechimba.聽 Common sense tells me you can't mail this one in.

It doesn't pass the smell test that it's 'a sure thing' trying to obtain a Colombian divorce remotely from Idaho .. a divorce that sticks.

Deciding to avoid a consultation with a top guy in Colombia would deprive you of valuable insight and advice.

Unless he's an attorney knowledgeable in international divorce proceedings, the poster who called it a "crap" idea to get educated about the international reach of a litigious and 'codiciosa' woman in divorce proceedings .. just gave you advice that is worth exactly what you paid for it.

cccmedia